Phone

Nine of the last ten phone calls I've made to strangers (ie companies, service people or whatever) I've hung up on halfway through. I just can't do it. I screw up my wording or feel awkward because I don't have the answer readily available, then I feel panicky, my skin gets hot, and that's that. Click. I'm so tired of it, it's really messing things up for me because you can't get by without using the phone these days.

Does anyone else have this as badly as me? And for those of you who are okay on the phone, what are some of your strategies for dealing with it?

Practice on telemarketers or survayors if they ever call you, say whatever you want. An important thing to remember when talking on the phone is that you have the power, the power to say what you want, say what you dont want, and end the conversation at your convenience. I think it is natural to feel axious when you need to make a call of importance, but just remember that the people you are talking to are getting paid to help you, and chances are they will never even meet you.

I feel nervous when I have to talk on the phone, too. Especially since I live in Germany and German is not my native language. I have found that it helps to write down the important points I need to discuss before I make the phone call. That way I can look at the paper and remind myself what I need to say, in case I forget it because I'm so nervous. As far as receiving incoming calls goes, I have a phone with caller-i.d., and if I don't recognize the number, or if it's someone I don't want to talk to, I just let the answering machine pick up. Then I have the option of calling that person back if it's absolutely necessary.

i have similar trouble as well

just making a very simple call i can feel very anxious & as soon as i do i find it really difficult to speak coherently & end up mixing up words, losing train of thought etc. which in turns makes me more anxious

i think it's important to plan out roughly what you're gonna say but at the same time you don't wanna go over-the-top & drive yourself crazy

the more calls you make & the more times you persevere & don't hang up will probably help

i'm not saying that will eliminate the anxiety but it may stop it getting worse

it might be easiest to speak to strangers who you know for a fact you'll never have to meet/speak to again, because if you embarrass yourself it's a little easier to get over, which hopefully may reduce the anxiety a little

similarly, i find it easier to speak on the phone when there's no chance of someone over-hearing me - less reason to be embarrassed again

perhaps try forcing yourself to speak a little slower might help - you might be less likely to mess up as much & i know sometimes it's easy to just try to spit everything out asap

that's about all i can say unfortunately. as i said, i get anxious on the phone a lot but can usually cope just about, albeit i find it very difficult at times

i hope some of this makes sense

Thats some great advice spct.

I used to be terrified about talking on the phone. Everytime I had to make a phonecall I would have to script it (write it out completely) and then just read it.

I think the key is stop getting mad at yourself for saying something wrong or even for feeling scared and hanging up even. Just do the best you can and never look back at what you did wrong. Bit by bit your confidence builds up and its does become easier.

Kinetik said:

Nine of the last ten phone calls I've made to strangers (ie companies, service people or whatever) I've hung up on halfway through. I just can't do it. I screw up my wording or feel awkward because I don't have the answer readily available, then I feel panicky, my skin gets hot, and that's that. Click. I'm so tired of it, it's really messing things up for me because you can't get by without using the phone these days.

Does anyone else have this as badly as me? And for those of you who are okay on the phone, what are some of your strategies for dealing with it?

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for the first time i've found someone with the same problem as me. I call it a phone phobia. Sadly, i have no idea how to get rid of it.

I have a phone phobia as well. When just thinking about phone calls I have to make I get all panicky. I ask my parents a lot what I should say, and then I'll run off and basically write a script up (even thinking up possible questions the other person might ask in advance) before I make the actual phone call.

PhantomPod said:

I have a phone phobia as well. When just thinking about phone calls I have to make I get all panicky. I ask my parents a lot what I should say, and then I'll run off and basically write a script up (even thinking up possible questions the other person might ask in advance) before I make the actual phone call.

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Maybe ill sound absurd, but....For me it is live conversation even easier than phone. I think everyone can fool me on the phone...
I dont see gesticulation , mimics, basically i dont like it and i almost dont use phone at all. First i reacted panicky and now i dont pick it up and even dont think who could that be, simply dont give a damn about it.
Heh, that reminded me, my cell was ringing and i didnt want to answer, and the buddy besides me asked me why you dont answer? I said, i m just admiring new technology Lol , I love my silly excuses...

Hm, but i never did hang up the phone suddenly to somebody?! (once i spoke on it) I have like giant sense of responsobility once caught?!

rado31 said:

Maybe ill sound absurd, but....For me it is live conversation even easier than phone.

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i think a lot of people feel this way actually, i often do

i guess it's the increase in uncertainty that occurs when speaking on the phone in terms of what the other person is doing/thinking etc. (like you mentioned)

also, awkward moments/silences tend to be more uncomfortable i find as well