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Old 06-06-2008  
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Default Phone anxiety :-(

I get really bad anxiety when it comes to talking on the phone with people I don't know.

For example, I just moved to another state and I've been looking for a new job. I applied to a few places online and yesterday I started getting phone calls for interviews. I obviously didn't answer my phone when I received the calls, I pretty much just stared at the caller ID until it stopped ringing and then listened to my voice mail. I haven't returned any calls yet because of my anxiety, my boyfriend is upset with me because he feels as though I'm potentially blowing off job opportunities. I tried to explain myself with him, but he just doesn't get it. I'm always afraid that I'll sound really nervous on the phone or that I'll say something stupid. I usually write down some points I want to make on a piece of paper before I make a phone call but that doesn't seem to lessen my anxiety. Business or professional calls are usually the only ones I have issues with. When it comes to talking to my friends on the phone, I could talk all day.

I was about to call one place back and I got a really bad tight feeling in my chest. I wish I could get over this. I know I'll call back, but I have to mentally 'gear' myself up before I make the call. I know it's one of those things in life you just have to do, but I hate the feelings I get when I have to do a simple thing like make a phone call. I'm jealous of people who have no problem talking on the phone with people they don't know.

Does anyone else have this problem? Any kind words of advice?
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Old 06-06-2008  
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Default Re: Phone anxiety :-(

Quote:
Originally Posted by soveryshy
I get really bad anxiety when it comes to talking on the phone with people I don't know.

For example, I just moved to another state and I've been looking for a new job. I applied to a few places online and yesterday I started getting phone calls for interviews. I obviously didn't answer my phone when I received the calls, I pretty much just stared at the caller ID until it stopped ringing and then listened to my voice mail. I haven't returned any calls yet because of my anxiety, my boyfriend is upset with me because he feels as though I'm potentially blowing off job opportunities. I tried to explain myself with him, but he just doesn't get it. I'm always afraid that I'll sound really nervous on the phone or that I'll say something stupid. I usually write down some points I want to make on a piece of paper before I make a phone call but that doesn't seem to lessen my anxiety. Business or professional calls are usually the only ones I have issues with. When it comes to talking to my friends on the phone, I could talk all day.

I was about to call one place back and I got a really bad tight feeling in my chest. I wish I could get over this. I know I'll call back, but I have to mentally 'gear' myself up before I make the call. I know it's one of those things in life you just have to do, but I hate the feelings I get when I have to do a simple thing like make a phone call. I'm jealous of people who have no problem talking on the phone with people they don't know.

Does anyone else have this problem? Any kind words of advice?
I can relate. I do the same thing, if I get interested in a job opportunity and talk myself into calling or applying online, when they call back I find it really hard to pick up the phone. I'll usually wait for the machine to pick up so I can hear the message and think about whether I want to call back later. I usually just put if off to the point where they stop calling. It's frustrating isn't it? Sometimes if I do get caught in a phone conversation I don't want to be in I just freeze up, and stutter when I speak and feel like I sound stupid, I get really tense and pace the whole conversation. I've been trying to understand why I feel this way for a long time but I guess a lot of people feel this way. Maybe it's just the anxiety of not knowing what to say, and being forced in to conversation. I don't know really. The same thing happens when old friends call, or someone new. Don't feel too bad about it, I know exactly how you feel. I wish I could give more advice but I do the same thing. I am trying to overcome this myself.
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Old 06-06-2008  
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Plan and rehearse. Have your boyfriend pretend to be the other person, or just practice what you will say. Do anything you can to relax beforehand. Phones were an evil invention. But don't let it mess up your chances of getting a job.
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Old 06-08-2008  
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I struggle with this problem. One thing that helped me: My therapist would have me make calls during our sessions. For instance, she would have me call 411 to get a number to some random business, and then I would call the place and ask for directions or some such thing. It was easier to do with my therapist there, and also the fact that I was just making practice calls that I didn't really need to make, made it easier. I still procrastinate about making phone calls, but at least I usually answer now when people call me.
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Old 06-12-2008  
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The scary thing about talking on the telephone for me is not knowing what the other person's attitude is towards me. If I meet someone face to face, sure its still uncomfortable but at least I can read the situation a little better. On the phone, all I hear is their voice and I'm totally lost at how to say and act. Gee, you think socializing would be so much easier on the phone but its not!

Masquerade, Paper faces on parade.
Masquerade, hide your face so the world can never find you. -The Phantom of the Opera
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Old 06-12-2008  
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Default phone anxiety

The only people i can talk on the phone with is like my sister, mom and best firend. Sometimes other people in my family but they have to call me i cant call them. I so know how your feeling. I thought i was the only one. Ive had this forever and no one understands me. They just keep trying to force me to use the phone and i just cant do it. Like my mom she calls colleges for me and talks to the people becuase i just cant do it. So i just wanted to tell you i know how you feel.
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Old 06-12-2008  
Ken
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Talking to someone i don't know on the phone causes a lot of anxiety for me also.

"When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps'" Confucius
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Old 06-29-2008  
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WOW! I thought I was the only one with this problem. I've had this phone problem since I was like 8. I hated talking on the phone in front of people and having a one on one convo on the phone. I have'nt advice for you because I stuggle with it too! I am looking fo a job and i will be dreading the interview/phone call.

bashfulness; loves darkness as life and cannot endure the light... He dare not come in company for fear he should be misused, disgraced, overshoot himself in gesture or speeches, or be sick; he thinks every man observes him'.
-Hippocrates
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Old 06-29-2008  
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Default Voice chats

I have been working on voice chats the first half of this year and I can difinately notice an improvement. I still have sever problem if I know there is someone in the room or if I think some one near by can her me.

Every one should try the voice chat feature on your instant messenger program. Find a contack on your list that willing to do it.

Look at it this way they you will know that the person on the other side of your voice chat will be just as nervous as you are.
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Old 06-30-2008  
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Default Re: Phone anxiety :-(

Quote:
Originally Posted by soveryshy
I get really bad anxiety when it comes to talking on the phone with people I don't know.

For example, I just moved to another state and I've been looking for a new job. I applied to a few places online and yesterday I started getting phone calls for interviews. I obviously didn't answer my phone when I received the calls, I pretty much just stared at the caller ID until it stopped ringing and then listened to my voice mail. I haven't returned any calls yet because of my anxiety, my boyfriend is upset with me because he feels as though I'm potentially blowing off job opportunities. I tried to explain myself with him, but he just doesn't get it. I'm always afraid that I'll sound really nervous on the phone or that I'll say something stupid. I usually write down some points I want to make on a piece of paper before I make a phone call but that doesn't seem to lessen my anxiety. Business or professional calls are usually the only ones I have issues with. When it comes to talking to my friends on the phone, I could talk all day.

I was about to call one place back and I got a really bad tight feeling in my chest. I wish I could get over this. I know I'll call back, but I have to mentally 'gear' myself up before I make the call. I know it's one of those things in life you just have to do, but I hate the feelings I get when I have to do a simple thing like make a phone call. I'm jealous of people who have no problem talking on the phone with people they don't know.

Does anyone else have this problem? Any kind words of advice?
This may be a really small piece of advice, but here's what I do when I am talking with someone (in person or on the phone). I try to think about what the other person is feeling rather than focusing on myself so much. I try to pick up cues in their voices that could tell me what kind of day they are having, if they're in a good or bad mood, etc. I find that if I try to be empathetic to someone else, I don't focus on my own anxieties quite as much. There are also some websites that I occasionally visit that help me with self-talk. One in particular (www.goodtherapy.org) has some therapists who specialize in treating anxiety disorders. So, I often check and see if they've written something new. Anyhoo, I'll go for now. Good luck to ya!!
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