please can anyone help??
as with all ocd sufferers, I thought to myself what is the worst thing I can obsess about and I came up with children. Worse than that though I know that the best way to overcome anxiety is exposure therapy but with children it would be wrong to expose yourself to them just to get over your fear. (by expose I dont mean get naked or anything, just being around kids to get over the fear).
Anyway, my anxiety quickly developed into being afraid to deliberately leave the house when kids were going to/getting out of school, ie 8.30am, 10.30am,12.30pm and 3.30pm. It doesnt matter how many times I leave the house at these times, the next day is exactly the same....."will I leave the house at 10.30, or 10.15 or 10.45 or well before it or just after it....." the more I try to ignore these times the more I focus on them. It gives me the worst anxiety I have ever experienced and it just wont go away. It has completely and utterly ruined my life as it doesn't matter what I think about doing, I have to do it at a time, what time will that be? Will it be when kids are in school (that would be accommodating anxiety by avoiding it) or would it be doing things when kids are out of school (that means waiting around or planning my day to face my fear, to be around kids). But again, it doesn't matter if on monday morning I left my house at exactly 10.30, or 8.30 or any of those times, I still have to decide what time I am leaving the house the next day and the next.
Can anyone help with this?? I really hope so because I am extremely depressed and very very close to committing suicide even though I know I have so much to live for.
as with all ocd sufferers, I thought to myself what is the worst thing I can obsess about and I came up with children. Worse than that though I know that the best way to overcome anxiety is exposure therapy but with children it would be wrong to expose yourself to them just to get over your fear. (by expose I dont mean get naked or anything, just being around kids to get over the fear).
Anyway, my anxiety quickly developed into being afraid to deliberately leave the house when kids were going to/getting out of school, ie 8.30am, 10.30am,12.30pm and 3.30pm. It doesnt matter how many times I leave the house at these times, the next day is exactly the same....."will I leave the house at 10.30, or 10.15 or 10.45 or well before it or just after it....." the more I try to ignore these times the more I focus on them. It gives me the worst anxiety I have ever experienced and it just wont go away. It has completely and utterly ruined my life as it doesn't matter what I think about doing, I have to do it at a time, what time will that be? Will it be when kids are in school (that would be accommodating anxiety by avoiding it) or would it be doing things when kids are out of school (that means waiting around or planning my day to face my fear, to be around kids). But again, it doesn't matter if on monday morning I left my house at exactly 10.30, or 8.30 or any of those times, I still have to decide what time I am leaving the house the next day and the next.
Can anyone help with this?? I really hope so because I am extremely depressed and very very close to committing suicide even though I know I have so much to live for.
