Please help, I'm really scared

I'm a seventeen year old with severe SA from New Zealand. I'm actually quite loud at home and with people I know but when I went to school I was literally silent. I could go an entire day without saying a single word. I was absolutely miserable. I left school after a suicide attempt this year but still got into uni because of my good results in year 12. I'm terrified of going to uni next year and I feel I really need to actually go and live at the college in order to become comfortable and make friends. I'm scared my parents won't pay for me to go and live in the halls and I will just live at home for ages and it will be just like when I was at school. I'm probably going to kill myself if they don't let me leave home.
Sorry that this is rambling and incoherent. Also, my doctor just prescribed me citaolpram and it makes me feel really tired and anxious. I really want some xanax but she won't prescribe it. Any advice for my awful life?

You're absolutely right about living in the halls, Jess. In my experience as both a resident and a day student, dorm life is an essential part of the collegiate experience. It can be scary at first, but it's worth it. You'll learn as much or more there than you ever will in the classroom. The dorms, dining hall, and other common areas are where—ideally—you will make friends, learn to deal with a wide variety of people, discover your strengths and limitations, and learn and practice the social skills that will carry you through life. You won't be lost if you don't live on campus, but you will miss out on a lot of opportunities and a huge chunk of valuable experience.

Talk to your parents. Explain to them how important this is to you, and find out what they are able and willing to pay. You could also look into work-study options to help with your tuition/room and board. You have a great adventure ahead of you. Please don't give up before you even begin.

Thank you for replying. I have tried to talk to my parents but they are really stubborn. In Ne w Zealand the culture is kind of different to the US and parents don't usually tend to pay for uni and most people get part time jobs, but getting a job feels like a really overwhelming thing to do.

if you can get a student allowance you can use that to pay for the hall if not studentlink loans you a living allowance.

did you have issues with domestic violence. were you addicted to video games.

Diend said:

did you have issues with domestic violence. were you addicted to video games.

Click to expand...

Where are you going with that line of questioning?

I thought studylink helped out a bit. Also I heard that studylink will give you an extra $50 per week if you have depression. I haven't looked into it though so it might not be true. I never stayed in a hall but my sister did and I'm fairly sure my parents didn't pay anything. I could ask her how she did it and post it here.

Try to reverse your thought process a little bit. Instead of focusing on all the reasons why you'll be miserable, think of all the reasons why it can be fun. But it won't work unless you put yourself out there.

You can pay it weekly. Just like rent but you need to pay a deposit for half of the year up front. My sister had to pay $7k up front. It cleaned out her savings from her job. But studylink covers the rest. It might be different depending on the university. This was for an otago hall of residence but i assume they're all similar. Are you dead set on a hall? If you're determined to go to uni next year you might have to go flatting. Or you could work for a year and save up for a hall then go to university. If you do that then be careful because it can get too comfortable and one year can turn into more. I had a gap year between high school and uni where I worked to earn cash but my gap year ended up lasting about 2 or 3 years so as a result I've only just finished my second year of uni but people I went to high school with have already finished their degrees.

HI! =)

I am the same way when it comes to talkive and being loud with my family and friends err people I get to know that I feel closer to. But when I am in any social situation I am always the quiet one, the one who is off to the side, the one who doesnt fit it.

I am sorry to hear that you are so unhappy. You should tell your parents that you are wanting to go to college and live in the dorms( thats what we call halls here) and that your scared and feel like you are just stuck at home.

Don't be sorry for this post! We are all here looking for help and someone to talk to!