colleenbixler
New member
So I recently went to summer camp for three weeks. I am fifteen. It was a very small community and we all got to know each other very well. Unfortunately the camp is in a different state than where I live, so all of the friends that I made live five hours away from me. I met the one guy (I will call him Adam) and he seemed really cool. He was good-looking, really adorable, awkward and skinny, has terrible posture, and is pretty tall (which I love because I am the same way except I'm not a hunchback) and absolutely hilarious. He was really quiet at some times but other times he would be with his friends and be really loud and joking. He also plays the drums really well and I love guys that are musical. We got to know each other a little bit, one time we went out together in kayaks and talked for a long time about a lot of stuff and he kind of told me a little about how he gets bullied at school and how he can be kind if shy. He is a very shy person. He started joking around with me and teasing me a little bit, he stole my sunglasses and my friend told me that he slept with them on. He also took my men's flannel and wore it a couple days in a row before giving it back. He also taught me how to play the ukelele.
I started really falling hard for him. Every time I saw him I just completely concentrated on him. I think he is the cutest boy in the world and I love everything about him.
We do these things where during campfire we give our 'life story' and I gave mine one night on the canoe trip. He prayed for me out loud afterwards and then later I told him that I was glad he prayed and I gave him a hug. We both were being super awkward about it, I am a very awkward person when it comes to boys and he just couldn't even make eye contact.
This all happened in the first week. At the start of the second week, he gave his life story and told everyone about how he has social anxiety disorder and he has panic attacks and everything. I felt really bad and started crying later. By this point every one in my cabin knew that I like him a lot.
It is a Christian camp, and the one guy counselor got really weird about guys and girls being together. This one guy and girl liked each other a lot and would always sit next to each other, talk to each other, and were just with each other most of the time. So apparently this guy counselor knew that this guy liked her because they talked about it in the cabin all the time, and so he would sit in between them when they were sitting together and it was kind of this big joke that he would separate them.
So one day I sat down for a meal and 'Adam' came and sat next to me. Then this guy counselor came and sat in between us and acted EXACTLY LIKE THE WAY HE ACTS WHEN HE SEPARATES THE OTHER TWO CAMPERS THAT LIKE EACHOTHER. so that made me think that Adam likes me and talks about it in his cabin, and the counselor knew.
All if a sudden, Adam stopped talking to me. He would ignore me all the time. I would say hi and he wouldn't even look at me. But I kept catching his eye, and he would look away quickly when we were in campfire and other gatherings. He acted this way until the end of camp.
My friend Kendall is very friendly and very approachable and I would always see them being super friendly towards each other. Every time I saw them together I would feel terrible about myself, like I had this stupid infatuation with him and he didn't even notice me. He also acted like this with other girls, and I also acted really outgoing and friendly with my guy friends there. But around him I would freeze up and say stupid things and do stupid things, like for example we were writing down all of our inside jokes at the camp on this board that we were going to hang up, and I started to write his nickname that we christened him with at the beginning of camp and everyone called him that, even the director if the camp, in big letters. He kind of got irritated that I had ruined the board and I felt so incredibly embarrassed.
So i went the whole time at camp thinking that he hated me and thought I was stupid.
At the end of camp we had a banquet, and it was the one night where I didn't look like a hobo, and when I walked into the place where we were taking pictures, he just stared at me.
Later we exchanged addresses to write letters to each other. And I really want to write him one.
After camp I followed him on Instagram and he hasn't followed me back. I have refollowed him and liked his pictures, and even snap chatted him to tell him to follow me, but he still hasn't. We are friends on Facebook, and we have pictures together, so I went to his page and looked at the page where it shows our friendship and all the posts and pictures we are in together. I was looking through the page, and I guess I did something weird, because a couple days later I saw a post on his wall that said "Colleen added a life event: she met Adam blah" and I wanted to throw up. That was the most embarrassed I have ever felt, and obviously deleted it, but I thought for sure that now he was going to hate me.
I had also send him a couple of messages on Facebook trying to start a conversation, but he "saw" them and he never replied. I snap chatted him a few times and he has snap chatted me, but nothing major, there were no long conversations. I checked who looked at my story on snapchat and every time I checked he was the one who saw every picture on my story. Even when I changed all my photos I always saw his name on the list.
I also did this thing on Facebook where you check to see who looks at your page by using the HTML code, and he has always been the number one person looking at my page.
I really want to send him a letter, but I'm worried he thinks I'm a weird stalker and he doesn't like me, but I have been reading about social anxiety disorder and how they act around their crush, so I have absolutely no idea if he likes me or not. Should I send him a letter? I know he won't write one back, but I wonder if he would be happy to get it or he would think I'm dumb.
Some people including him probably are going to reunite over thanksgiving weekend, so that means that two of my girlfriends, me, and him are going to be in a car for a couple of hours, and then we would all hang out that weekend. Then next summer we are both going to volunteer at the camp.
Some body please help me? I need to know what to think about this situation.
I started really falling hard for him. Every time I saw him I just completely concentrated on him. I think he is the cutest boy in the world and I love everything about him.
We do these things where during campfire we give our 'life story' and I gave mine one night on the canoe trip. He prayed for me out loud afterwards and then later I told him that I was glad he prayed and I gave him a hug. We both were being super awkward about it, I am a very awkward person when it comes to boys and he just couldn't even make eye contact.
This all happened in the first week. At the start of the second week, he gave his life story and told everyone about how he has social anxiety disorder and he has panic attacks and everything. I felt really bad and started crying later. By this point every one in my cabin knew that I like him a lot.
It is a Christian camp, and the one guy counselor got really weird about guys and girls being together. This one guy and girl liked each other a lot and would always sit next to each other, talk to each other, and were just with each other most of the time. So apparently this guy counselor knew that this guy liked her because they talked about it in the cabin all the time, and so he would sit in between them when they were sitting together and it was kind of this big joke that he would separate them.
So one day I sat down for a meal and 'Adam' came and sat next to me. Then this guy counselor came and sat in between us and acted EXACTLY LIKE THE WAY HE ACTS WHEN HE SEPARATES THE OTHER TWO CAMPERS THAT LIKE EACHOTHER. so that made me think that Adam likes me and talks about it in his cabin, and the counselor knew.
All if a sudden, Adam stopped talking to me. He would ignore me all the time. I would say hi and he wouldn't even look at me. But I kept catching his eye, and he would look away quickly when we were in campfire and other gatherings. He acted this way until the end of camp.
My friend Kendall is very friendly and very approachable and I would always see them being super friendly towards each other. Every time I saw them together I would feel terrible about myself, like I had this stupid infatuation with him and he didn't even notice me. He also acted like this with other girls, and I also acted really outgoing and friendly with my guy friends there. But around him I would freeze up and say stupid things and do stupid things, like for example we were writing down all of our inside jokes at the camp on this board that we were going to hang up, and I started to write his nickname that we christened him with at the beginning of camp and everyone called him that, even the director if the camp, in big letters. He kind of got irritated that I had ruined the board and I felt so incredibly embarrassed.
So i went the whole time at camp thinking that he hated me and thought I was stupid.
At the end of camp we had a banquet, and it was the one night where I didn't look like a hobo, and when I walked into the place where we were taking pictures, he just stared at me.
Later we exchanged addresses to write letters to each other. And I really want to write him one.
After camp I followed him on Instagram and he hasn't followed me back. I have refollowed him and liked his pictures, and even snap chatted him to tell him to follow me, but he still hasn't. We are friends on Facebook, and we have pictures together, so I went to his page and looked at the page where it shows our friendship and all the posts and pictures we are in together. I was looking through the page, and I guess I did something weird, because a couple days later I saw a post on his wall that said "Colleen added a life event: she met Adam blah" and I wanted to throw up. That was the most embarrassed I have ever felt, and obviously deleted it, but I thought for sure that now he was going to hate me.
I had also send him a couple of messages on Facebook trying to start a conversation, but he "saw" them and he never replied. I snap chatted him a few times and he has snap chatted me, but nothing major, there were no long conversations. I checked who looked at my story on snapchat and every time I checked he was the one who saw every picture on my story. Even when I changed all my photos I always saw his name on the list.
I also did this thing on Facebook where you check to see who looks at your page by using the HTML code, and he has always been the number one person looking at my page.
I really want to send him a letter, but I'm worried he thinks I'm a weird stalker and he doesn't like me, but I have been reading about social anxiety disorder and how they act around their crush, so I have absolutely no idea if he likes me or not. Should I send him a letter? I know he won't write one back, but I wonder if he would be happy to get it or he would think I'm dumb.
Some people including him probably are going to reunite over thanksgiving weekend, so that means that two of my girlfriends, me, and him are going to be in a car for a couple of hours, and then we would all hang out that weekend. Then next summer we are both going to volunteer at the camp.
Some body please help me? I need to know what to think about this situation.
