Post what you cannot say

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Must you make personal phone calls while I'm the room? Huv tha decency tae eff off tae other room. An mibbe no talk so loudly, eh?

Ah feel like am listenin' intae yer conversations, which ah couldnae give a f**k about. Sorry, mum...
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Yes, my wife will be with me soon and I'm already anxiety riddled about how that whole thing but early morning inquisitions and discussions is not what I want!
 

Odo

Banned
If you're going to shut the water off to our apartments, TELL US.

It would be one thing if it were just for a few hours, or even for one day... BUT FOUR DAYS WITHOUT WATER???

If you don't let us know that you're going to leave us like this for FOUR DAYS, then we aren't going to prepare. We won't necessarily buy a lot of bottled water in advance. We will use the toilet, thinking it can just be flushed tomorrow. We will cook food thinking we can just wash the dishes when the water comes back on tomorrow. We will stay home thinking 'well, we've already waited this long for a shower, so...'.

I know you won't be fired for this, but you should be... it's absolutely unforgivable. I've never seen anything like it in any country I have ever lived in. WHAT THE **** WERE YOU THINKING??
 

Resurrection

Active member
Would you like to catch a movie with me? Talk, get to know each other better?

Another important thing I want to say to someone, usually the types that are invasive and rude:


Go f*** yourself.
 

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
Today i realized that its not only social phobia that i have but "perfectionism". I have a chronic case of maladaptive perfectionism and i learned it because of my over disciplinary mom who spanks me everytime i make a fckin mistake. I know i have an anxiety temperament. Maybe i was born that way but maybe just maybe i wouldnt be this screwed up if my mom's parental behaviour wasnt that bad. I was born hating making mistakes and now im aware of it but i cant unlearn it. Everytime i make simple mistake or inadequacy in my job i always have this feelinf that im gonna be told off or people will ridicule me. Many times i pretend that it is ok... that i shouldnt make all mistakes a big deal. But the truth is my feelings of dissapointment wouldnt stop. Its not something that i can automatically shut off.

So fck my mom. But fck me too coz i couldnt even tell this to her personally coz shes been dead since i was 10.

Everyday i feel like starting brand new. But at the end of the day i always feel like a failure... like somethings wrong... just because i didnt feel like i ended the day perfectly. Just that. And i cant stop.

Also i have an OCD behaviour. When i feel bad i alarm my phone and pretends that that alarm is another brand new start. What happens is i end up "alarming" everyday.. sometimes several times a day because theres always something that makes me feel off about my day.

Now im frustrated. I feel like starting another alarm but i realize how silly it is. I know ill keep doing it. I know nothing will satisfy me.

The longest streak that i didnt use that alarm was maybe a month. I think something major anxiety moment happened that made me go back to this behaviour again.

I hate perfectionism but im doing it to my effin self.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Always great any small moments of positive thoughts dissipiate being with family...

Any reason for? Sorry to pry, just wondering if yer comparing yersel to the rest o' yer family. Or that they tend be quite dour, an pessimistic whenever you're with them, like mine are.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Any reason for? Sorry to pry, just wondering if yer comparing yersel to the rest o' yer family. Or that they tend be quite dour, an pessimistic whenever you're with them, like mine are.

It's difficult to pin down a reason but I just find them irritable. Whether it's criticism of my decisions to do certain things, talking about things I have zero interest in and I'm just apathetic to all of them tbh. I find my anxiety and irritability is worse and I prefer to be on my own but sadly that's impossible.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Yes, I've booked a plane ticket that is more expensive and yes, it adds another few hours to my journey but you know what? It's my ****ing money!

Why should I help clear a room in which I've had to put up sleeping there without gripe or complaints? Do it yourself and don't force me to help when you could have helped yourself by making a start on it earlier!

I'm dreading this week, I'm so tempted to wish the clock back, I don't want to go (mainly travelling on my own) and what this whole epiosode brings to my life..
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
What I wish I could say:

"Oh, quit dillydallying around and let's just go for coffee or something already!"

What I'll actually say:

...
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
How f***in' dare you....!! Tellin' me ah should be weight-baring on ma legs, just cuz ah got the all clear to do so on tha same day ah get the plaster casts off. So how much surgery ah hud done and the pain I'm still in doesnae play a factor here? Ha! That's like askin' a paraplegic tae f***in' riverdance, ya stoopid cunt! :thumbdown:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sorry.. For what, exactly? Hmmm...?! Not listening to me? Irritatin' me to tha point of actually lashin' out at ye? Or tha fact you constantly contradict me? Which is, then, Mum? Cuz ah would love tae know...
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I am watching a season two episode 14 of X-Files-

It reminds me of when we dissected frogs in 6th grade. I wasn't actually super-shy that yr of my life, actually bordering on even being popular. Everyone was queasy and kinda timid and grossed out by the inside of the frog. I thought it was fascinating and was into it. I didn't care what anyone thought and the teachers loved me that day.

Maybe I am weird... Or maybe I missed my calling?
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Sometimes realizing you know exactly how someone feels is also realizing there is nothing you can do to help. There's not always a good solution, some situations just suck, and there's no magical quick fix that will change that. That's not to say things can't get better, they certainly can. But until the shitty reality is accepted, you can't start taking the steps to grow flowers from where dirt used to be. And I can't be the one to say this, feelings are too complicated for anything I say to help. It's something I know you have to figure out on your own, and you will. Hopefully faster than I did. I hope you're ok soon.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Why the **** are you asking questions for answers that you already know?! Oh yes, I know because through nuance, you want to ridicule and s****** at me because I don't do the things which my contemporaries do, ya know the cool things. So rather than accept me me for who I am, you sit their with your inquisitive questions purely to try to embarrass me. Well, you know what, go and **** yourself. Call yourself a cousin of mine? No thanks, I'd rather walk over hot coals to have dinner with my enemies.

And YOU? Sat next to your brother suppressing your laughter. Yes I can see it. After all I've tried to do to help you, support you and you join in on the fun? **** off.
 
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