Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

State_Of_Trance

State_Of_Trance

Well-known member
Feeling bummed about everything. Don't like work, don't like hardly anything. Tired too often.

But hey, there's a hundred billion other bottles on the shore; I'm not the only person with problems.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
I've been miserable for the last three days. I got poisoned by something and had a powerful stomach ache. I've had perpetual throw up sensations, diarrhea, fever dreams and migraines.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Sunny
Sunny was the day, today it was
Sunny
The sun was brightly shining
But i was into pining
For some wining & and some dining (beer & crisps; & whining about my problems!)
All done in isolation
Not even spw chat for consolation
Certainly not a real conversation
But it's all energy conservation
As people, i can't live with them nor totally without
Real people drive my mind crazy
But without them my energy is low, & i am lazy
But at least my reality is stable, & not confused and hazy
That normals have lives is nothing but illusion
Self-perpetuated, causing just pain & confusion
Thinking the universe is against me, in this grand collusion
My mind won't stop shaking
My sanity's in the oven, baking
And i can't stop thinking
And i can't stop drinking
And just like me, everyone else's as miserable as sin
Yep, all the yang, and all the yin
They can deny it, telling the world they are rosy
That they have a social life, partner, kids even, and are real cosy
But the truth is hidden behind the mask
And the mask is never taken to task
...
Yes, indeed it was
Sunny

(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... < SUSPENDED >)
 
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AtTheGates

AtTheGates

Banned
i have to ket up at 3am to get ready for work everyday. I dont get adequate sleep on workdays. looked in the mirror this morning and noticed I look exactly like a zombie .


*shrug* oh well.


anyway yesterday two muslim inmates threatened to file a grievance on me because I wouldnt let them go in a separate pod to "pray in the east". They said that was going against their freedom of religion.


so I'm just supposed to let them break the dorm rules so they can pray ?...ummmm...no....fvck those guys.

if one of them ends up getting hurt for ANY reason (example: slipping and falling down he stairs , however unlikely that may be) then IM the one who gets in trouble for it and possibly even SUED because I would have ALLOWED them to be in a pod that they arent even assigned to which resulted in them getting hurt.


some of these inmates really try to play the system with this freedom of religion stuff. what will be REALLY interesting is if we get an inmate who is part of the native american church and tries to convince us that he should legally be able to use peyote for his religious ceremonies :lol:




that being said , I think EVERYONE should be able to practice whichever religion they choose but when you commit a crime and have to spend time in prison , its a different story.
 
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H

Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
AtTheGates said:
anyway yesterday two muslim inmates threatened to file a grievance on me because I wouldnt let them go in a separate pod to "pray in the east". They said that was going against their freedom of religion. so I'm just supposed to let them break the dorm rules so they can pray ?...ummmm...no....fvck those guys.
Click to expand...
You're a better man than I am. I'm the easily persuaded type because I don't like getting on ANYONE'S bad side so I quite often give in. I'm a hard @ss with children at times when they want their way...but with full grown adults with the potential to seriously hurt me? Nope. Bravo to you.
 
AtTheGates

AtTheGates

Banned
Hot_Tamale said:
You're a better man than I am. I'm the easily persuaded type because I don't like getting on ANYONE'S bad side so I quite often give in. I'm a hard @ss with children at times when they want their way...but with full grown adults with the potential to seriously hurt me? Nope. Bravo to you.
Click to expand...


thanks man. it took some getting used to. a co-worker told me this morning that today is initiation day for the bloods (a gang) . basically its were a new recruit for the bloods has to either attack an officer(code 7) or attack another inmate (code 4) in order to be initiated into the gang . there were a couple code 7 false alarms today but there were about six code 4's in separate ares of the prison. I was running around alot for those. At one point when running toward an inmate fight , my radio/walkietalkie thing fell off of my belt, an inmate grabbed it , and ran away :eek:h: . had to go find him afterward. what a pain in the as$ . lol


an interesting day though


also, I dont think I'm a "better man than you" . I think I'm just good at acting tough when I need to. lol
 
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Cannot escape the breeders
Not for this bottom-feeder
Not for this porn reader
Not for this d**k kneader
Born to go without
A man without a route
A man without a plan
Somehow to get through this lifespan
All alone, a pioneer
Who's only guide is constant fear
But salvation (through death) is never near
And no relief is ever found, not even to shed a tear
My pain is a fixture
My destiny a toxic mixture
My salvation a toxic tincture
Travelling the road less travelled
The type of road where sanity is unravelled
Skillfully avoiding people & places
Also therefore society & faces
Making me the ultimate artful dodger
Justly feeling like a lonely old codger
Living a life of strict social isolation
Devoid therefore of social stimulation
Devoid therefore of almost any stimulation
Could be living in a jail cell in isolation
With isolation comes also boredom
And boredom is my ally in this mess
In my apparent fight against hapiness
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... < SUSPENDED >)
 
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Sunday
Might as well be Monday
Feels the same as every day
The day may change, but these feelings are to stay
Do-doing my steps, i do
Stepping over the do-do's, i do too
New computer operational
Just the same old brain incapable
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... < SUSPENDED >)
 
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
When things aren't right
And anxiety has to you smite
Take to the grog & metal in spite
And you'll find the "aren't rights" will soon take flight

And any thoughts of a "safe haven" (woman)
Rid from your mind that wicked raven
As it's all f*cking illusion & fantasy
There's no such thing as anxiety-free ecstacy, found through "a woman's love & beauty"

Gotta keep going, keep running .. never stop the action
No, not for a wretched moment, lest i have a worse reaction
Although, as an aside, there is beauty in inaction
Keep on writing this rhyming garbage, minding i don't get an infraction

So keep going, keep running, keep writing, keep fighting
Never stop .. never have a bad reaction

Face the isolation, face the desolation
Don't give in to your desperation
For some kind of dedication, or consecration
As they only exist in your imagination
And are not really true salvation
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... < SUSPENDED >)
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
theslowesthand said:
Face the isolation, face the desolation
Don't give in to your desperation
For some kind of dedication, or consecration
As they only exist in your imagination
And are not really true salvation
Click to expand...

You probably think that poem is a bit shite, but I must admit, I liked this particular verse. And I'm not really a big reader of poetry.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Graeme1988 said:
You probably think that poem is a bit shite, but I must admit, I liked this particular verse. And I'm not really a big reader of poetry.
Click to expand...
A lot of my poetry is me expressing shite, so it makes sense that it seems shitey.
Nor i.
Well i'm amazed i found all those rhyming words, and put them into sth that's actually meaningful (i actually looked up the word "consecration" to be sure).
To me, that particular bit (& a few others) sound more like lyrics to some heavy metal music than poetry imho :giggle:
I wouldn't have a clue about any music to go along with it. For a start is it heavy metal, hip-hop, rap, or what? But with the poem starting with "Sunny", i was actually inspired by a song that just played on the radio.
I'm finding it stimulating to write this poetry. I now know what it's like to be a songwriter! :giggle:

Dang, now i've forgotten the start of my next poem! :eek:h:
 
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MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
It's so hard for me to fathom in this world of over 7 billion people that no one has taken the time to have any real impact or care about me as a human in so far as to worry about my future or help teach me things of true value. I wish I could have found people or person whom I admired at some point and they would have offered me real direction.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Today is a new day
A new life
Potentially the start of a new way
Potentially the end of all strife
But it ain't ever gonna happen, okay
Just like i ain't ever gonna get a wife
Cause i'm stuck in my ways
And i'm stuck in my strife
These are the days
The days of my life
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... < SUSPENDED >)
 
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
MollyBeGood said:
It's so hard for me to fathom in this world of over 7 billion people that no one has taken the time to have any real impact or care about me as a human in so far as to worry about my future or help teach me things of true value. I wish I could have found people or person whom I admired at some point and they would have offered me real direction.
Click to expand...

I think a life coach may be what you're after :question:
With 7 billion people, i think it's safe to say there may be a few stones left unturned?
But you are the person who can help you the most.
For without this one person you are "toast".
In any party of one, you are the sole host (the host with the most).
So never give up, never say die.
Always aim for that spring in your step, for that feeling of spry.
...
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
MollyBeGood said:
It's so hard for me to fathom in this world of over 7 billion people that no one has taken the time to have any real impact or care about me as a human in so far as to worry about my future or help teach me things of true value. I wish I could have found people or person whom I admired at some point and they would have offered me real direction.
Click to expand...

:crying: Sorry, don't mean to get emotionally. It's just that struck a nerve, growing without my dad for much of my life.
 
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MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
theslowesthand said:
I think a life coach may be what you're after :question:
With 7 billion people, i think it's safe to say there may be a few stones left unturned?
But you are the person who can help you the most.
For without this one person you are "toast".
In any party of one, you are the sole host.
Click to expand...


I am not looking for any type of person who gets paid to listen to me or give advice. I find those relationships shallow- I want a true human which doesn't exist and who has nothing to gain from helping me but to know they have helped.
No one gets anywhere without people helping them. No one. Anyone who is has gotten to be above the level of getting their basic needs met had people to help along the way. This is why we are social animals to get above the basic needs for food and shelter so we can explore things with meaning and not be in a constant state of struggle. I am not a social animal so I will always be forced to grovel for my next meal. I will never have the luxury to explore anything beyond struggling.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
theslowesthand said:
Today is a new day
A new life
Potentially the start of a new way
Potentially the end of all strife
But it ain't ever gonna happen, okay
Just like i ain't ever gonna get a wife
Cause i'm stuck in my ways
And i'm stuck in my strife
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... < NOW LIVE >)
Click to expand...

Writing from personal, eh? That's usually the best source of inspiration. :thumbup:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
theslowesthand said:
A lot of my poetry is me expressing shite, so it makes sense that it seems shitey.
Nor i.
Well i'm amazed i found all those rhyming words, and put them into sth that's actually meaningful (i actually looked up the word "consecration" to be sure).
To me, that particular bit (& a few others) sound more like lyrics to some heavy metal music than poetry imho
I wouldn't have a clue about any music to go along with it. For a start is it heavy metal, hip-hop, rap, or what? But with the poem starting with "Sunny", i was actually inspired by a song that just played on the radio.
I'm finding it stimulating to write this poetry. I now know what it's like to be a songwriter! :giggle:
Click to expand...

Naw, I wasn't saying it was shit. Just, y'know how it can be when you get someone else's opinion of something you created, ye tend to be quite critical of it yerself. Especially if yer still working on it. At least, I tend to be this way whenever I'm overheard playing my guitar.

It's not a bad poem, like. :thumbup: I got more of a 90s alt-rock vibe from the part I quoted, like Alice In Chains or Smashing Pumpins.
Or doom metal, maybe? :question:

I actually bought a rhyming dictionary a few years ago and attempt to try n' write song lyrics... f**kin' failed miserably, like. :eek:mg: Haven't made another attempt at it, since.
 
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