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Old 05-26-2012
AGR
 

I think I want to get into pc games,but I am afraid to,because it could consume me,like before,also I need a better computer,my motherboard is from 2004 I think,I got stuck behing with all those new things coming out,and not only computer stuff....
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Old 05-26-2012
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Mmmmrrraagghhhuuuggghhhh
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I'm tired of people telling me certain things I think are all in my head. It's quite obvious some of them are not. Or that certain things aren't things I should be upset about. Spend a day in my shoes. I'm not saying anyone should pity me, but if they could understand where the f*** I'm coming from, maybe they wouldn't say such things.

I'm not just a sad, sorry person blinded by self-pity and negative bias. Just because I struggle with my self-esteem and depression doesn't mean every negative reaction I perceive from someone is a lie influenced by my issues.
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Old 05-26-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tally_Lyra View Post
I'm tired of people telling me certain things I think are all in my head. It's quite obvious some of them are not. Or that certain things aren't things I should be upset about. Spend a day in my shoes. I'm not saying anyone should pity me, but if they could understand where the f*** I'm coming from, maybe they wouldn't say such things.

I'm not just a sad, sorry person blinded by self-pity and negative bias. Just because I struggle with my self-esteem and depression doesn't mean every negative reaction I perceive from someone is a lie influenced by my issues.
People often have a hard time understanding something when they aren't going through similar experiences. If there's something that's causing you trouble then its a real problem and not in your head.
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Old 05-26-2012
 

@ Tally, you go tell them Lara! cheers!

@ Olhos, good luck before u know it it 6 months have passed, i cant believe how fast time goes when im hooked on a game..
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Old 05-26-2012
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Well, I made $170.00 off of old jewelry I didn't wear anyways!
& My buddy took us out for a couple drinks and a meal, so I'm in good spirits right now. Had a few laughs, & I have gas and grocery money for a few weeks.
All in all, a good afternoon!
I come back in here, & people have been so kind. That makes me feel good too...
But, then most are so sad, frustrated and hurt... I wish I could take everyone with me me when I'm happy...
Then, I get let back down to earth. thud*
Hasn't happened just yet for me, but it's inevitable. I do wish everyone could find an oasis of pleasant distraction this weekend, though.
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Old 05-26-2012
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So tired. Nearly time for my bedtime.
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Old 05-26-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valhalla View Post
It's a splendid May evening. I'm spending it alone. Anyone else doing so?
helo there, u just described my last 4 months.
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Old 05-26-2012
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Neither black nor a puma.
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I dislike when people spread their messages over many different messages in instant messengers.

It makes replying difficult because the ''person is typing'' message stays on so long, and I'm just waiting for it to turn off so I can respond to what they've typed. I always try to get as much in one single message as possible.
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Old 05-26-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tally_Lyra View Post
I'm tired of people telling me certain things I think are all in my head.
Strangely enough, I have problems with people who create problems in their heads, and then come and force them on me. And then when I try to tell them, "but I don't have problems", they insist on interfering.

I hate alternative realities.
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Old 05-26-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Srijita52 View Post
I know how you feel, I think I do it because I hate the idea of anyone disliking me and can't help but wish that they liked me instead. I'm not sure if its same for you but I hope you can be able to stop focusing on such people, they're definitely not worth it.
Oh, that's the same for me. If people dislike me I always have to wonder why and change their mind about it. I wish that wasn't the case.

A friend of mine at work had a breakdown in 2004 and he said after that he got a new perspective on life, and since then he doesn't care if people hate him. I wish I had that sort of mindset, and maybe I will.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KiaKaha View Post
Dont worry - I have the same problem too. One inkling of rejection and my world comes tumbling down - I have to reject first and push all those out of my life that remind me of just how much of an incredible failure I am. I would rather be ignored than be reminded that I am not good enough.

I can tell you both right now Srijita and Mikey that the both of you are extremely likeable and charming - I like both of you, and lots of other people here do as well. Mikey - you have an amazing warmth to your personality, you listen to people....always. People like that. You are definitely well liked and respected.

Srijita - you are kind hearted, patient, insightful and intelligent - and just generally an awesome person - traits that are always well received and respected also. In my opinion the world needs more people like you.

So BOO to all those people who cant see what wonderful people you both are - either they are too wrapped up in themselves to care or give you an opportunity to know you better, or they just arent worth knowing in the first place.

Although - in saying all of this .... I know EXACTLY where you are coming from - its not easy to believe sometimes...trust me, I know too....
Well, thank you for the lovely compliments, my friend. I don't understand how you're a failure. You're kind and compassionate yourself. I agree with everything you said about Srijita, too.

I want to believe you, but as you said it's hard to believe sometimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tally_Lyra View Post
I'm tired of people telling me certain things I think are all in my head. It's quite obvious some of them are not. Or that certain things aren't things I should be upset about. Spend a day in my shoes. I'm not saying anyone should pity me, but if they could understand where the f*** I'm coming from, maybe they wouldn't say such things.

I'm not just a sad, sorry person blinded by self-pity and negative bias. Just because I struggle with my self-esteem and depression doesn't mean every negative reaction I perceive from someone is a lie influenced by my issues.
Well said. There are people out there who don't understand too well. My friend thinks some of my issues are all in my mind, too, which they technically are but it doesn't help to hear it.
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Old 05-27-2012
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tally_Lyra View Post
I'm tired of people telling me certain things I think are all in my head. It's quite obvious some of them are not. Or that certain things aren't things I should be upset about. Spend a day in my shoes. I'm not saying anyone should pity me, but if they could understand where the f*** I'm coming from, maybe they wouldn't say such things.

I'm not just a sad, sorry person blinded by self-pity and negative bias. Just because I struggle with my self-esteem and depression doesn't mean every negative reaction I perceive from someone is a lie influenced by my issues.
You are a godsend. Thank you.
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Old 05-27-2012
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Neither black nor a puma.
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I just learned that Jim Parsons is 40. I seriously thought he was 25-29 years old. Holly cow.
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Old 05-27-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackPuma View Post
I just learned that Jim Parsons is 40. I seriously thought he was 25-29 years old. Holly cow.
^ Woah. I had to google that, because I kind of couldn't believe it myself. Yeah, I totally thought he was in his early 30s.
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Old 05-27-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyC View Post
Oh, that's the same for me. If people dislike me I always have to wonder why and change their mind about it. I wish that wasn't the case.

A friend of mine at work had a breakdown in 2004 and he said after that he got a new perspective on life, and since then he doesn't care if people hate him. I wish I had that sort of mindset, and maybe I will.
Yeah, I wish that too. It would've been easier definitely. I've a friend who says he doesn't care what others think of him and he truly doesn't. I can only dream about it.
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Old 05-27-2012
lonelyworm's Avatar
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cba anymore.......


















Lifes **** atm.
That is all
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Old 05-27-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackPuma View Post
I just learned that Jim Parsons is 40. I seriously thought he was 25-29 years old. Holly cow.
That is crazy. That is like Wentworth Miller (the guy on Prison Break) is 40. I didn't think he was 40. I with I had their genes to look so young. I remember I had a teacher who I thought was in his 20s and he was in his late 40s. Crazy.
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Old 05-27-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsBuzzkillington View Post
That is crazy. That is like Wentworth Miller (the guy on Prison Break) is 40. I didn't think he was 40. I with I had their genes to look so young. I remember I had a teacher who I thought was in his 20s and he was in his late 40s. Crazy.
^ I hear ya. Another one that comes to mind is Jonathan Mangum. He's pretty young looking anything, but if you've ever seen his comedic style and even the way he sometimes dresses, he comes off like he's in his 20s, not 40s. The man is aging in reverse!
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Old 05-27-2012
MikeyC's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelyworm View Post
cba anymore.......

Lifes **** atm.
That is all
What's wrong?
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Old 05-27-2012
Srijita52's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelyworm View Post
cba anymore.......


















Lifes **** atm.
That is all
What's wrong?
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Old 05-27-2012
MsBuzzkillington's Avatar
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Random ramblings too long and too boring to bother reading, :P Just a warning.

Tomorrow I am going to a water park with my friend and her mom, sister, and her sister's boyfriend. I have pretty much known her and her sister and mom since I was really little. So I know them well enough, so I really shouldn't be that nervous to go.

I want to go to the park because I used to go all the time and it is pretty fun. I am not sure if it will be super fun now that I am older, but we will see.

But on the other hand, I am really, really really nervous. I don't want to go. I really...really don't want to. I don't think anyone has seen me in a swimming suit in a year or more. I am really nervous about that. A whole bunch of people seeing me in a swimming suit? Eeeeek. I am going to feel so exposed. I had a swimming suit that was a tank top type thing and then a little skirt thing, so it covered me up pretty well. But it didn't fit anymore so I gave it away. I realized I didn't have a swimming suit and I had to go buy one today. It was really awful, so awful. They don't have those skirt things anymore, which is dumb. I tried on a few tank tops but they didn't fit. None of them fit. I tried on one pieces but they were ugly. I ended up getting a two piece, exposes way too much of my body but I couldn't find anything else. Maybe I should have gone to another store, I don't know. I probably spent an hour and a half trying on swimming suits. They really didn't have cute options if you are bigger, they really didn't have options for cover up things where you could still look cute.

Oh random interjection. I had a bunch of suits in my hand and I was going to go hang them back up myself because they were busy. The lady told me to put the things I didn't want in the cart or something and I said that's okay and she said but we have to make sure they are all hung up. So I started going through the suits (showing they were hung up) saying "uh um uh um uh uh um" and she was like. "still thinking?" and I said yeah so she told me to just come back with the ones I didn't want and I said okay! Thinking I was being sneaky. Then I went back to pick out more suits and I was like crap! She is going to see me! She is going to know I lied and ask where the suits are! So I walked around the store for like 20 minutes trying to kill time hoping enough people would have gone through that she would forget about me/ not recognize me. Thankfully she wasn't there when I went back.

Also, another random thing- the boy and girl dressing rooms were not separated. It was just one big area. I didn't notice until I saw a guy walking back there. I was like uh um? Ek.

Where was I...I am feeling really self-conscious. I don't want to go tomorrow, I don't want them to see me in a suit. I don't want anyone to see my huge thunder thighs walking down the paths. I bought a pair of shorts to cover up my thighs. I was thinking of buying a shirt/tank top to put over my stomach area but then I realized it would be stupid to spend 35 bucks on a swimming suit only to spend another 35 bucks on clothing to cover up the swimming suit. I am thinking of just dealing with it. I am thinking of just saying "screw it" and wear my swimming suit without the shorts because, it is like who really cares if I have huge thighs? Who cares if I am really fat? Let the haters hate, ya know? I want to have fun in the sun and get a tan. But at the same time I am like, people are going to be staring at me and I am going to be that person that "shouldn't be wearing that". Ugh.

Also, trying on suits as a huge reminder of how much weight I've gained. If only we went to the water park 3 months ago.

I am still thinking about making an excuse and backing out. I hope that the weather is really really bad so the decision is made for me and I don't have to worry.
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