I need some professional help

pjohn · Newbie User Joined: Apr 11, 2007 Posts: 1

When I say professional I mean someone who can tell me exactly what to do with the assurance that it will work!!!
I need to build up self-confidence and self-respect!!!
And not try to modify myself every time I fall for a guy, thinking he wouldn't like me if I stay myself!
And stop thinking that I can't get the guys I like cause for some reason I’m not good enough for them!
I’m really pretty, people have many times told me I should get into modeling or something, and there's always someone hitting on me, and every time I was drunk enough to try to seduce someone: I’ve always got the guy, and I’m intelligent, and I’m fun and cheerful, and interesting, and complex but in a good way!
But being sort of aware of all this, it doesn't help me get out of this really annoying state of mind!
It’s like I’m aware of it, but it's like an outer body experience when I say these nice things!
In practice I can't feel it nor enjoy it!
And that's all I want!!
There were times when I felt really great about myself, the way I should, the way we all should, but that was a long time ago, and short lived!
Please, someone, anyone, tell me what to do?

Skog · Newbie User Joined: Jul 13, 2006 Posts: 64 Location: USA

You've set the bar too high for me.

I'm not a mental health professional. I can't give you an answer that is guaranteed to work. I presume no one reading/posting here can give the asurance you want.

I recognize that a lot of people find alcohol, or some other drug, lowers their inhibitions and makes it easier for them to socially interact. It seems ultimately to be a trap, though. They run the risk of depending too much on it and having disastrous results from losing control. You don't exactly say that, but it doesn't sound like getting drunk is the answer to your problem.

Maybe you are seeking social contacts in the wrong places. Maybe you do need professional help. You can try changing where you meet people. Volunteer groups usually are good for raising your self-esteem. You can make an appointment with a mental health professional. You can read postings by other people who have similar feelings and see if that makes you feel better or gives you some ideas of what else you might do. This forum is not as well populated as a couple of others.
http://psychforums.com/viewforum.php?f=137
http://groups.msn.com/AvoidantPersonalityGroup/messageboard.msnw
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Avoidant/
You might do some reading those places, too.

I hope you can feel better about yourself soon. Good luck.