Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:21 pm Post subject: feeling down
I'm a really jelous person aswell, I hate myself for doing it and its causing serious cracks in my relationship.
My partner tells me all the time how much he loves me, and would never hurt me.
I just dont believe him. I went insane when we were moving and I found some love letters from years ago ( wasnt even an ex girlfriend) I made his life hell but when I found them my heart was pounding tha much from fret and anger I thought I was going to have a stroke.
If he ( very rarely) goes out I cant cope..i'm beside myself and very suspicious.
I know I make his life hell also especially with SP .. I just think he could find someone whos really down to earth and bubbly and fun.. with no problems.
I keep thinking I should just finish with him..he surely has no life with me.
He has said to me he wants the person back he met ( thinngs have gone downhill in my life)
I keep thinking he has affairs at work or chats people up..i'm pathetic
Have you ever considered getting some type of counseling of some sort for your insecurities?
It sounds like the person you're with is 100% devoted to you and that you truly do have nothing to be afraid of except coping with your own insecurities. I know I can relate to having plenty of insecurities of my own, but if you're with someone who actually does try hard to be reassuring to you, it seems that maybe all those things you are worried about are not coming from genuine threats, but self-created ones.... ? Am I right, or are there actual real events going on that should truly lead you into believing that your boyfriend would actually cheat on you? Perhaps some times instead of vocalizing your jealousy, you might want to write down how you feel in a journal instead... ? Too much negativity can put any relationship under a lot of stress, and before you know it... you might eventually drive your significant other away.... I don't think you want to do that, so be careful about lashing out on the spur of the moment. Take a deep breath, relax, and maybe just write down how you feel instead. You might find some better solutions if you write down how you feel and think about it clearly later on. Ideally, any type of counseling would probably be helpful, but if you can't or don't want to, it's understandable.
No theres nothing that hes done to me to make me think otherwise, I have made him stop going out with his friends.. the thought makes me burst into tears and phsically shake.
Last night was bad, and I think Ive finally driven him away. I love him so much and deep down I know he would never hurt me..but I just fly of the handle and accuse him of allsorts.. and think of scenerios in my head of what he could be doing.
I feel I should just let him go, I'm holding back his life and especially with my SAI just feel I'm a drag on his life, and that he can find someone so much better..which is basically my whole problem
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