Love-Shyness

sugaryberries · Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject: Re: love-shyness

I'm basically young (1 Cool

but I've never had had any kind of contact with a male. I'm not boy crazy like my sister is and I wondered if my parents ever thought I was gay because I don't really express interest in males. The only touching contact I've ever had with males was from 11-14 and that was because I took karate.

I can't see myself getting married or ever being "in love" with anybody, just lust. It all seems so sappy and fake and I can't see myself telling someone anything serious about myself.

People continually ask me if I am dating someone or when am I going to get a boyfriend. I don't really think about it, but when someone brings it up it makes me feel guilty. This girl on my team even asked me if I even wanted a boyfriend and I'm like no not really (because I was going to college which was a convenient excuse). And her mother had asked my dad if I had guys come over to my house because she was bragging about how guys are always over at her house. He lied and said yes which I didn't really mind, because most things are about appearances. Some guy asked me if I'd ever had a boyfriend and I said no and he said why is it because you don't like guys?

mistmephit · Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 7:21 am Post subject:

Sometime I get to the point where I try to resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be alone forever. Sad

I had a number of secret crushes, but every one of them turned out to have a boyfriend. As a result I've never kissed a woman or even gone on a date with one let alone anything else... Embarassed

kattness · Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:44 pm Post subject:

i know if me and my boyfriend broke up i wouldnt b able to find anyone else...... i have a feeling i will be alone forever and have no one. to make matters worse i know me and my boyfriend wont last (he lied afew times,looks at other girls blah blah blah)
would be nice to meet someone who understands me completely.... but who with s/p even goes out?

goodluck everyone

clairet · Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:04 pm Post subject:

I agree with you, I stay with somebody who is inappropriate for me (as I am for him), well, for two reasons actually. I don't think I'll be able to find anybody else who'll "tolerate" me - my present boyfriend, doesn't really "see" me as it were so there is little chance of being "found out" (sorry lots of commas!) and secondly cos I just don't get out enough to meet other people and do not want to grow old alone. Utterly selfish and inexcusable behaviour really...

mrblack · Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 7:41 pm Post subject:

well it's better to try everything to solve your problems then sink into your misery, by accepting that things won't change.

try researching the internet for those seduction sites. It may sound evil at first, but as you read you will find useful information about approaching women and how to keep conversations with them, and these are written by men who have studied for years around women and their past experiences.

fastseduction.com is a good one, and has a forum with people to get advice from.

i prefer david deangelo's material. you should sign up for his free newsletter and if that works, try out his stuff (which is pricey,)

almost all the time the male is going to have to approach the female, and even if the female approaches himl, the male should be able to speak for himself. rather than being skeptical on how to get better, we should give things a try, and most importantly force ourselves to make the change that we want.

It doesn't matter how old you are. If you meet a girl, you do not have to share your lonely past with her. I am sure she won't want to really hear it. Maybe after a while when thigns get better you can vaguely bring it up. But to suceed with women us men are going to have to master small talk. And this is going to be in conflict with our social phobia. We must use our will to remember this is complete bullshit. We are just basing everythign on dreadful past experiences.

Why not use these dreadful past experiences as tools, to know what NOT to do next time in a situation?

Just relax chill out, let gravity bring you down, lay back. breath slow (not fast), find a peace of mind, stop worrying, stop doing stuff that panics you

countrybumpkin · Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 8:56 pm Post subject:

I would say MrBlack , that you are already ahead of everyone here if you can get to the point of laying back and relaxing.Ha ha. To everyone else , however , the only reason you will never meet anyone is if you are completely closed to the idea of meeting someone . As long as you are open to it , in time everyone will meet someone . True for guys especially , women can really feel your vibe if you're not open to the idea of meeting someone and will stay away . While it is less common for a woman to be the approacher or the pursuer , it does happen . I've been pursued myself a time or two and I'm by no means Brad Pitt or anything. I'm just a nice guy with a good sense of humour and I'm easy to get along with. Lifesnot fair it is definately your attitude more than anything else that is keeping women at bay , ease up a bit man , something good might just happen.

captainb · Newbie User Joined: Apr 30, 2007 Posts: 1

Hi there,
After looking up words such as "shy", "men" and "love" I came across this site. I have a crush on a guy who is 35. I am convinced he is "love shy" people have said to me he is interesed in me but doesnt know what to do. No one has ever heardof him seeing any girls in all of his 35 years.

I think he is an absolutely fantastic man but I am also fairly shy and dont want to come onto him for fear of embarrassment. We have sent a few text messages back and fourth but nothing else.

Would I turn him off if I was to take more initiative?

I am more used to being pursued by a man than chasing him so its a little out of my comfort zone.

Would love to hear advice of what a "shy man" would like a girl to do that may ease their fear, embarrassment, pain, in this situation.

Thanks a bunch

haze · Newbie User Joined: Sep 14, 2006 Posts: 82

havent really got many tips for you captainb i dont really have many tips for you other then dont comeon too strong or put to much pressure on him because he might just say no out of fear, i should know.