MY Story.....Your Story

FearEnder · Newbie User Joined: May 30, 2007 Posts: 1

25 year old Male
I'm sorry this is kind of long...maybe someone can relate
(disclaimer: I am not a Doctor)

1st Major:
Restlessness (couldn't stay still)
sound sensitivity (peoples voices, television, etc)
clammy hands and feet
left shoulder and arm became totally numb
Heart pounding very hard
extreme tightness in chest
finally the person next to me notice my complexion go from beet read to a pale white.

At this point I was ready to pass out and was absolutely terrified, my friends and I both thought I was having a heart attack...so they called the EMT. When the Paramedics arrived I was somewhat relieved, but, had a very hard time communicating with them...I was very fatigued. For the next 4 hours I felt derealization. The Doc took all my vitals and gave me a EKG...he assured me it wasn't a Heart attack and what I experienced was a Panic Attack. I was shocked. He gave me a scrip for Ativan to take if I felt another one coming on.

Little I knew, the 1st panic attack you experience is the Pandora's box. Over the course of the next two months I must have had 20+ attacks....I thought my body was on melt-down. Everything under the sun started giving me anxiety. For example: I had to quit drinking Coffee/Soda, stop drinking Alcohol, Acidic foods like pasta sauce, and even the meds (ativan) gave me nerve-racking sensations. attacks became more of a mental anguish...I had thoughts racing through me faster than Indy cars. My only salvation became isolation....In turn was a bad idea...I lost my job and a relationship. I was so embarrassed and fearful to have an attack in a public setting.

I was lucky to have a family member who saw the signs and asked if I was having PA, she also experienced them as a young adult. Talking to someone felt good. She gave my a couple of books that helped her through this stressful time. I also decided to seek other help and see a psychiatrist. The books helped me cope and better understand what was happening to me. I will say one thing: It's very hard to describe the nature and absolute terror of a PA to someone that has never had one. My father for one, thought I was full of it and just weak....that didn't make things easier.

The therapists in the beginning wasn't easy for me...Like other people in this blog I had a lot of anxiety going. The doctors at first tried a couple of cocktails that didn't seem to make any difference...I believe now my fear of taking them made my body reject them. I stayed with the psychiatrist for about 4~5 months and took Xanax when I started getting a onset of an attack....It seemed to help void the symptoms and attacks became fewer and less aggressive. Within eight months things were much more under control. However, my new fear had manifested without my knowledge. My next panic attacked occurred during a time where I had forget to take my safety crutch. I had mistakenly left my medicine at home...... A week or two went bye with the "aftershock anxiety"....what many people encounter after a major PA. This sparked my personal decision....I would begin to ween myself off this safety net.

Its now been a little over a year. I am no longer taking any medication. I still suffer anxiety time to time and what I call "near" panic attacks. Avoiding things like caffeine (especially on a empty stomach) and bad hangovers after drinking have made a difference. A good sleep pattern seems to help as well.

I had a relapse last week..... when I had a PA in my car on the highway. I had to pull off the road...it manifested in my gut with a tingling and tightening sensation, then soared to my hands a feet...I got very hot and clammy and could not use my arms or fingers they cinched up into what you could describe a "claw"...These were symptoms I had never experienced before in a PA...it had been 4 months since my last attack. I was able to drive off about 10 mins later. I went right home and dwelled upon my latest experience. I knew the longer I didn't drive the worst the fear would grow. But I broke free the next day and continued on, It wasn't simple or easy my drive to drive outweighed my fear.Within two days everything was back to normal. Dealing with my PA's took practice, like riding a bike or skiing...you must get back up when you fall down....Lately I feel stronger day by day with my own personal victories....Am I cured? Who knows? But I've decided not to waste my energy asking myself. I've looked and haven't found a quick fix, What I did find was determination to end the fear.

Thanks for reading . Again this was my journey and I understand everyone's is different.
I feel all your pain and anguish.. and pray for your strength.

-WH-
( I am not a Doctor.)

SergesDad · Newbie User Joined: Jun 03, 2007 Posts: 6

you may not be a doctor, but ou certainly are a cocksucker. hahaha