Questioning reality/life etc

limbo2 · Guest

Mart, I Believe you will forget about this with time. it does happen to some people. To the people who became adults in my opinion. to see your body as matter ( mass, particles, etc ) and not as yourself.

Personally, it became my religion. think about it. There is something that even intelligent alien living forms would ask: What in the world is all this about?( the cosmos) another deeper question even for alien forms: Who/What created this?.How? and the last one and never answered: Why?

The point is: If you have reached truth you better accept it. All this could be a dream, I won't detail my religion because its kind of overwhelming and might sound very twizted as this post. but the point is. i took it from one of those episoded of existencial questions. The overwhelming feeling is like trying to describe the number 1. you simply cant put it in words at all. i can describe number 2 ( a 1 to the side of another 1) or zero.
(absence of 1) but definetely not number 1. I believe this is also a sort of religion to all alien forms. the Unknown.

Hope this tale about the cosmos and maths helps a bit. my hint: forget about it as soon as you can. unless you are interested on it.
It does not have an asnwer anyways, like number 1.

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

Wow! Dan246, your post made me feel so much better.
l was having an episode, when l thought l would get on my newly found anxiety forum.
It really helps you to get through it, it seems, even though l have trouble reading and writting cleary(it makes me feel sick still).. unfortunately l live in a town that is 20 yrs behind the times and to find a specialist here for anxiety just ain't going to happen.. My husband is terminally ill with a lung disease and we have to travel 4 hrs away to the big smoke to his doctor .. so this forum is my best bet for help.
l have never heard of smokers going through this before, l have found it strange that a couple of you have said how it brought it on the anxiety attacks. its so crippling , lm exhushted everyday, sometimes l wonder if lm even here.
l havn't smoked since that day or drunk coffee or even tea.
l have completely lost my train of thought lol.. so easy to do these days!.
but anyway l think lm over my attack now, and now lm dribbling crap.
so l'll try and write again when l can think clear
Rolling Eyes

marT · Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 1:08 pm Post subject:

Yeah fluffy, the lack of concentration really sucks and contributes to the feeling of going insane (for me anyway).

If your a regular smoker fluffy (weed that is) I would cut down. Most specialists I have talked to say that in a lot of people it brings on anxiety disorder, which it might have done for me.

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

Hi Mart,
Trust me the night l thought l was going to die, was the night l gave up my small intake of weed..
Yes l also ready that in help triggers things, also some types of food,tea coffee and coke.. Milk triggered me off,how is your meditation going?
l have a relaxation CD that helps, when l get the time to use it..l find my self going through different stages, 1st it was full on l thought l was going to have a heart attack(l was rushed to hospital) l even wrote my husband and kids good bye letters, l have never heard of anyone with this illness before, l have had a nurves break down, which was nothing compare to this, my body just wouldnt work.. but after a couple of weeks rest l got it together.
My recent stage's are my throut closes off, l cant breath,lm exhusted even after l get some sleep, my sleeping patern is all over the place,l get worried about driving in case l fall alseep, Chest pains , cramps in my whole body. l really thought l was going mad when l 1st started my anxiety,it's really like your sole is dieing.. but l am trying hard everyday.
l did get told to snap out of it! lol..lm sure you would all agree if we could we would....
do you find this forum helps you?
l also like to draw as well.
l surpose its just one day at a time, My husband is terminally ill , so feel like a bit of a cry baby, l feel l shouldnt be going though this he should..
stage the way things work.

marT · Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 10:14 am Post subject:

man sorry to hear that fluffy, sounds like a rough time.
i've only just started the meditation, but since i am prone to derealisation I seem to find it quite easy, my thoughts do wonder but i'm slowly getting the hang of bringing them back to my breathing or a word.

My mind seems to race sometimes which can get me panicking a bit, mainly because it reminds me of the times I was tripping so hard and thinking I was going to die, but hopefully the meditation can resolve this with time. I do beleive i'm feeling better, I just hate it in the mornings when i'm heaps tired and stuff because it reminds me of the dissociative states which can trigger things off.

If you can find the book called "Power over Panic" I urge you to read it, it is all about anxiety disorders and also steps you through mindfulness meditation. visit www.panicattacks.com.au for more information (yes its an aussie site!) I have also talked with a woman that is a therapist on that site and she helped me understand things a little better.

Hope you feel better soon fluffy!

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

thanks Mart for the positiveness,
l'll go to the libery and see if l can get that book..
its so nice to be in a group of people that no what your going through!
we can all freak out together!lol..

Hope it had nothing to do with the south australia fires that brought your attacks on?

Fluffy

marT · Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:09 am Post subject:

Thanks for the concern but no, Im a fair distance from where the fires were. I'm not entirely sure what brought it all on for me, i guess just a build up of stress.

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

The last 2 days, l have had the 1st sign of any light at the end of the tunnel. After 7 months of everything feeling so surreal and the strange kind of madness that comes with this. l have started to feel the smallest amount NORMALNESS! lol. it feel so good!! l have been taking my Lexapro everyday(and lm not one for these drugs).. But when you feel as bad as l have been, l had to do somthing ! anyway l would all so like to add, that this forum has helped , its been so good to chat to people that are all so suffering from this illness.