Hi all..

20nikki07 · Newbie User Joined: May 11, 2007 Posts: 1

Hi,

My name is Nikki, obviously lol.. Im in my late twenties and Im from the Midlands, uk..

Since having my son in 2004 my fear of leaving the house has got worse and worse, I left work in 2003 bcos I was signed off with severe morning sickness and also depression.. I never went back and when my maternity leave ended so did my employment.
..Being a new Mum and trying to cope alone I found it easier to stay home and play with my son inside or in the garden, its funny how before I could get ready and be out the house within 20mins, all of a sudden this little person meant it took me much longer to get us both ready, get all the stuff ready to go out and everything else that went along with the trips out.. maybe I was just too lazy looking back..

.. I noticed over time that it was getting harder for me to go out at all but I realised last year when my new bf, now fiance, and I went to the cinema and it all felt a 1000 times worse and my symptoms were much worse too, I sat shaking the whole time, I felt sick to my stomach, I felt dizzy, like there was no escape and generally clock watching until the film was over, funnily enough it got worse when I was in the car with him on the way back home, I have a fear of being sick also, so the fact I felt so sick made everything 20times worse.. when I finally got home I slowly started to feel better. Ive never been back to the cinema since that night.

Ive lost every friend Ive had and so I do feel like a billy no mates. I cant really go to many places without panicing, although I decided about 3 weeks ago that I would make more of an effort to get over this awful phobia for my son and my fiance, if not for myself aswell.

I had a horrible attack just 2 weeks ago, I forced myself into town where Id had an attack the last time.. basically for the first time I ended up running through town back to my car, it was the worst attack since that one in the cinema, it was just awful, and more awful for the fact I ended up running away as nothing I did, counting, focusing on my ipod music, trying to picture something nice, nothing worked and so I felt the only option was to run away Confused

.. but to be fair Ive been so close to running away many times in the past.

Anyway, Ive gone on far to long and probably bored you all, I just thought if Im going to start reading posts and hopefuly posting replies and starting posts of my own then you should at least have an idea of who I am..

..I also have depression which I think is a reult of the agoraphobia and panic attacks,I have emetophobia, and some mild ocd.. My fiance thinks I should be put down lol hes prob right Razz

I have an appointment with my hairdressers today, I havent been for 6 months and Im dreading it, Ive pretty much convinced myself I will panic the whole way through and have been close to cancelling the appointment, I dont think that will help though. It something that needs doing, unless I wanna continue to look like I have straw growing out of my head, its just so hard, its something I used to anjoy and look forward to, now its one of many situations where Im dreading the whole thing Crying or Very sad

Wish me luck

Hope youre all well Very Happy

Will catch up with your posts when I have more time Very Happy

sabbath92001 · Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:17 am Post subject:

Hi Nikki, welcome to SPW!

Have you tried ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) yet? ACT is about the only thing that has helped me. With ACT you won't need dangerous meds or expensive doctors, just your own values.

_________________
Accept your reactions and be present
Choose a valued direction
Take action

www.acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy.com

Sen · Newbie User Joined: Aug 12, 2007 Posts: 15

Only just signed up so you get the honour of having my first post Razz

Just wondering, have you gone to a doctor at all? My life wasn't all that fantastic (no need to go into detail, i'm sure everyone on an agoraphobia forum has/is having a very similar experience Razz

). But then I went to the doctors, he gave me some tablets (which i don't take anymore) but he also told me to check my college (i'm still a teenager) for counsellors.

The things I've found that helps most are kalms (they're just sugary tablets containing hops and some other gubbins) which you can get from any boots pharmacy (or get someone to get for you). And taking baby steps, just having a counsellor to come back and talk to once a week and share my progress with.

You only live once, assuming you're an atheist like I am. And if you're in your late twenties you really don't want to be housebound. So whatever you do, you've got to start grabbing things by the horns and doing things.

Post is getting slightly long, but all I've been using is kalms tablets, willpower, common sense (knowing when to stop) and distraction techniques and I've gone from having a panic attack sitting in one of my parents cars on the driveway to being able to go on holiday with my family (we're from essex and just got back from cornwall). I went to Brighton with my brother for 2 or 3 days. I can visit my new girlfriend (who's alot more understanding than the previous one) and to get to her is a 20 minute bus journey and 8 minutes on a train. Then either a taxi or a 45 minute walk.

Hope that kinda helps.

YankeeBob · Intermediate User Joined: Aug 29, 2007 Posts: 113

Nikki welcome to this site.

I have a sense of your isolation and fears.

Would you like myself and others to share with you what works for us?

Be well. Take care.