Hello (shy female hoping to make some friends)

4leafclover

I have social phobia, although not as bad as I was before. I've had it since I was born and I'm almost 25 now.

Last year, I finally told my parents about it and I went to see my doctor with my mum, who got me in touch with a therapist. I also got a job as well, but found it impossible to communicate with people. My bf (now my ex) got me the job and I was working under him (he was my boss).

A couple of months ago, I split up with him and I quit my job too because it was impossible to work with him and anyone else, it was too hard with SP. I still see my therapist and although my social phobia isn't cured, I can now talk to people 1 to 1 without any problems (I couldn't before).

But I'm here hoping to make some friends and add my experiences and stuff into the forums. I'm from the UK.

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself lol
Embarassed

random · Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:51 am Post subject:

4leafclover,
Welcome! It's great that you are here.
I am glad you have kept up with the therapy and can now talk to people 1 to 1!!!! Glad to have you with us. I'm old enough to be your mum (47) and I wish I had started facing and working on my problem with SA when I was your age. Keep up the really good work!

jayo · Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 7:45 am Post subject: Hi

Best of luck - I'm glad you told someone - Welcome.

_________________
Whether you think you can or you can't, you're probably right

bird · Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:27 pm Post subject:

Hi there, welcome! We are all friends here Wink

IF you want a chat anytime let me know... im 29 female and am having a nitemare time too x

SilentType · Expert User Joined: Jul 04, 2007 Posts: 672

Hey hang in there and fight the battle with the rest of us. I'm 19, and I'm working my way through SA with you. Just know that the only thing you can do is take things day by day, remove all the negative things in your life as possible, and the rest just let it all roll off your back. Some meds, especially benzos allow your mind to more easily allow you to let SA inducing aspects of life roll off your shoulders. Keep it real and kepp your head up.

Peace

4leafclover · Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:32 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the welcomes Smile

I'm trying to get rid of the negative things. My therapist said they are starting up a club thing to help people with all sorts of problems, have fun and make some new friends. It's a sports club - where they do activities like walking, table tennis, swimming etc...

Is anyone else a member of something like that?

I want to give it a go and put my name down, but I had an accident a few weeks ago and can't move around properly so it looks like I won't be joining in the club for a while Sad

, so I can't get outside very well now, so trying to get over my sp is on hold now Sad

, so I'll be on here alot

amonajaku · Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 2:58 am Post subject:

im sorry to hear, you hurt your self, i hope you feel better soon, i did try a group, i thought other agorphobics would be there, i was dead wrong, i only managed 1 meeting after that, i just couldnt go, so if u want to go to that group, make sure its something u want to do

bronco · Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:13 am Post subject:

hope you get better soon so you can try this group. sounds a good idea. situation with work sounded unbearable to me.hope you can build up some confidence and find a new job when your ready. Wink

cambridgeshire rules Laughing

Mrs_G · Newbie User Joined: Jan 01, 2009 Posts: 7

Hey, I was looking to do the same thing really. I never used to have social phobia growing up. I remember having a few close friends...going round their houses to play and generally having fun, feeling safe and not having a care in the world...although I've always been shy/quiet. Now it's a totally different story. I worry what other people think, too much and how I am perceived (even worrying now that you probably think i'm a total freak right now) I tend to think I know that people can see im shy/nervous and not being myself or even just a strange weird person that can't have a conversation and freezes up and I imagine I know exactly what they are thinking (cuz i'm not like this with my husband... and even I think "what the f*ck did you say that for/why did you say it like that you f*cking fool") which makes every social event a failure and such a let down, leaving me miserbale. I worry what my face looks like when I talk, I envy other people who look natural when they talk/be them selves...I always look out of place in photos/film/in a crowd and I can't relax and don't really know how to be myself anymore. I even think I can't even walk properly and worry what I look like. I'm always nervous out and can't think for myself..I find it a challenge to cross the street (now I KNOW you think i'm retarded lol... i'm not I swear but that's how bad the phobia has got) I can be shy like that with my family too...God help me when i'm around my husband's family. I get paranoid that everyone see's me as some sort of joke with no bottle to stand my ground or start a conversation... I reckon people get bored/fed up with me. It used to be alright when alcohol/ciggeretts were involved...although I smoked way to much because it was me doing something...taking the edge off my phobia. But without those vises I find myself boring and can't think of ANYHTHING to say at ther time. The voice in my head when I type is totally different to the person I have become. I have no self esteem and just wish I could be happy. I have a group of friends now (that's how i met my husband he was one of the group)...and I still don't feel comfortable around most of them...like I don't trust them. People say all the time I should have confidence and that I am attractive and never get on anyones nerves (that's because I see how annoying fake people can be and over annalys them thinking...why don't you just shut up everyone thinks you're over the top... which makes me too scared to even try and put on a front (because people will pick up on me acting differently) I'd love to just not care and be as outgoing as my husband appears to be (we always laugh and say how much we hate other people and how retarded they are) We love spending time together and we make each other laugh so hard. There's one or two boys in our group that we think are relatively worth comuning with...I don't tend to get close to girls anymore...not sure why. I'm nearly 25 myself and am nearly 7 months gone with our first baby boy. I hope the phobia/shyness etc disapears when I put all my fears aside for my child. I'd love to make friends on here. My ideal would be to meet up with those who are simular to me (as naive as is sounds) I hate not having friends, propper best friends. I wanna be the person I know I truely am...but to affraid to be in public. I have lots of people i've known/passed by over the years on facebook...but I never really see them and am (as you can tell) happy to reply to their messages lol. Anyway... way too much info lol hope to hear from someone soon...Phobia is driving me nuts... :/