First off, I want you to know that I have Selective Mutism. I used to go to theropy and take Prozac as a child but I hated my theropist since all he would do was ask me questions and count how many words I said.
On the 4th of September, I started high school for the first time. Well, during the summer I went to a 2 week program there, too.
I can't stand it...
Everyday I cry afterschool and I want to transfer to the school where all of my friends are. It was my middle school, and I believe I would be a bit more comfortable there since I won't have to deal with going on the trains and such. I can't make friends at all and I almost started crying a few times today during school.
I asked someone that I met if I could go to lunch with them and the girl ditched me and I ended up running up to her and joining the group. Everyone in the group HATED me, they wouldn't even say hi or be nice, they talked to eachother and it seemed like they were running away from me.
I want to transfer schools but I don't know how long I should wait. I want to leave right this second and the longer I wait, the more I will miss.
What should I do? Everyone has formed their cliques and I just try to leave school ASAP now and avoid people. Everyone at the school is into fashion and popularity. I am so depressed right now that I feel as if I can't do HW until I figure this problem out.
I miss my friends, they're my life and I didn't realize it.
I want to tell my parents so bad but they're just pessimistic and uneducated about my disorder. They push me hard, "Go up to people and try talking" and things like that. I feel as if I need someone who understands what I am going through... my friends are too immature to understand. I try explaining but they end up saying I'm being dramatic and my life isn't so bad...
They just don't understand.
Everytime I step out of my house in the mornings now, I get this deep wave of depression. And the more I try to become friends with people, the more I fail.
Basically, I JUST NEED HELP.
Should I leave the school now? I don't think waiting would be smart, time isn't going to bring friends.
So please, I just need advice on any of my probelms. Nobody else knows what I'm going through and I need someone to talk to someone and get suggestions.
It's a social anxiety disorder, it would take me a very long time to explain it though and I'd probably miss a lot. It's basically a child/adult whom is extremely anxious that they are pressured to not talk. The more pressure, the less likely so succed. People would think of me as shy but I'm really not around my friends and family. Almost everyone in my family has told me I'm their favorite silbing/niece, etc. but that's because I'm not as afraid of their judgements.
Joined: Oct 08, 2005 Posts: 108 Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:00 pm Post subject:
Hi there. I can fully understand your situation as I have been through this myself, and to some extent still am even at the age of 36! I would advise you to take your situation seriously and go and see your doctor and have a one to one chat about it, I am sure they will be more than helpful.
Also, try and sit down with your parents and get them to listen and try and be open with them as possible. If they don't take you seriously then talk to somebody who will.
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