Intrusive Thoughts

twinbee · Newbie User Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 4

Hello everyone,I`m I`m a newbie here and I really how can I handle my daily life .I have a mental illess and I think it should be OCD -the intrusive thoughts.It happened 5 years ago when I first came to high school.At that time I went with my friend to the canteen and she said really bad words about a teacher.Then the teacher knew this but he thought I was the one who said those words.He often stared at me.besides I was really stressed with my studying.(I`m from Asia.)
And since then I was so frightened that the bad words became intrusive thoughts in my mind and I couldn't get rid of them.It is getting worse and worse because now when I talk to someone ,my mind just appears the bad words such as fuck ,damn....with their name .I just cannot speak a full sentense fluently because i fear that I spoke out those words and they could hear it and then revenge me.I tried to avoid this by pouring my mouth with water when go out hoping that if i have no chance of speaking them out loud.But when I met someone and say hello to my friend ,I have to swallow the water and after that I became frightened again.Now the bad thoughts even dominate in my mind when I write something,for example,when I do my exam I have to do quickly and when I apply it to the teacher I fear cause I donot know if I write those bad words in the paper or not.I fear that he can read it ang revenge me and my family.
I try to ask the teacher to let me see those papers again and again to make sure i did not write them out.When I can see those paper ,my fear does not go away,I want to see it for a second time...However I cannot so
when I come home,I become extremely worried about that .Recently,I have just moved to a place where a lot of Muslim live.because when i go out I can see them a lot,I really donot hate them and I know it is serious and they are really angry if someone shout at them.I donot know why when I see them ,My mind is full of bad words about them.And i really fear that i speak those words out loud ,I fear that they can hear and revenge me.When I write forms to apply to my university,I fear that I write those intrusive thought out and Muslim can read it and revenge me...Sorry to muslim too because I really donot want to shout at them.But i donot know why my mind just appears those words.

Now I find it very difficult even in the situation of going out and talking to everyone.I cannot tell this to anyone including my parents.I feel hopeless about this.I cannot concentrate in studying.i am really stressed because i`m studying abroad and my parents borrow money to support my studying.If I cannot study how can I find a job later and pay all the debts off.
I donot know if I just have OCD or any mental illness else.I now cannot find a way for myself.

TAMPA-BAY · Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:28 am Post subject:

The thing about intrusive thoughts are that the more you try to suppress them the stronger you make them. I am not sure that you have odd based on what you have written. I could be wrong tho. How old are you? and welcome to the site.

twinbee · Newbie User Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 4

I`m 20.Its very difficult to live my daily live with those obsessive thoughts.I`m fed up with going out with the water in my mouth.
Anyone have the same OCD like me? Sad

benjamin · Newbie User Joined: Nov 06, 2007 Posts: 6

never mind, but u have to fix one thing.
i think u'd better find that teacher out and talk to him.
u tell him u were not the one said those bad stuffs and ask him wheter he is really angry with u.
maybe he stared at u not coz of what u said but some other reason.
and if u can clarify that, no need to suppress those intrusive thoughts anymore.

twinbee · Newbie User Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 4

But the problem here is that I have intrusive thoughts .It is not just the problem in my high school anymore.Now I am obsessed by those bad thoughts .My fear that I spoke bad stuffs out loud cannot go away.
I think I have mental illness. Crying or Very sad

Alias515 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 09, 2007 Posts: 1

i understand fully what your going through, you do have ocd, so if u want those thoughts to go away, your gonna have to give no power to those thoughts, such as if your thought comes up, let it just float around in your mind, keep doing this for two weeks and those thoughts will disappear, and dont worry your not gonna say anything you dont want to say, basically with you accepting those thoughts, your mind is gonna get so bored of it, that it wont come up as much anymore, dont let them stress u out...

recluse · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:40 am Post subject:

Is this considered ocd?;

For years i've had this obsession that i have to memorize every cd which i own and dvds, i even memorize the tracks on each cd, and it sucks because i get angry if i forget them. This also applies to other stuff like which clothes i have in my wardrobe and drawers. I feel that i am afraid thta they will go missing o'r something so i have to keep memorizing what possessions i have. I'm a bit exhausted!