OCD about being a pedophile... so scary.

Ameera00 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 19, 2007 Posts: 2

I suffer with an obsession about being a pedophile. I've heard that these things are fairly common among people that have OCD... but that doesn't make it any less terrifying.

Recently, I had a spike... a thought of molesting a young child... and for a second, I felt this mental excitement, as though it was something I wanted to do. No physical arousal, just that feeling of excitement one might get when, say, kissing. Like that adrenaline rush.
The best way I could describe it is that for a split second, my mind went, "Yes... that would feel good. That would be nice."

UGHHHH.

It scared me, because it wasn't negative excitement, which is what OCD thoughts tend to cause. It only lasted a split second, and afterwards, I felt ill, but I can't stop thinking that this must mean I'm a pedophile. I am so scared. Sad

silentbutdeadly · Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:11 am Post subject:

I think I should say something or else it would be really bad if no one replied to your post...

The best thing I can think of right now is to focus on the fact that you're a good person and that you'd simply never do anything like that. (I wish I had more to say, but hey, I am socially phobic, right? Wink

)

_________________
"people become obsessed with the few traits they dont like about themselves and often neglect all the the things that make them amazing people." -zeroday

Vancouver · Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:44 am Post subject:

Ummm. Not to be a piece of shit or anything, but the thoughts are a little strange. I'm not going to lie just to try to make you feel better. However, having your own thoughts is fine - as long as they're not acted upon.

What are you so afraid of? That you might *accidentally* act upon them? As in oops-I-did-it-again? That's the only time you should start to worry, if you get to the point where you're actually afraid of losing control. If you feel this way, get help. Not for your sake, but for childrens' sake in general.

I think you can be a good judge of that, considering you're masked by the internet. Once again, having thoughts isn't a crime - harming kids is. If you act upon your urges, you'll get what's coming to you.

My best advice - get a girlfriend/hobby(or perhaps both).

blakeage · Newbie User Joined: Nov 15, 2007 Posts: 9

If you were a pedophile, could you change it by thinking about it? You'd be a pedophile, regardless of how much thinking went into it. Thinking about it is a way of fighting it...to prove to yourself that it's not true.

I've had a very similar issue, but my fear was that I was gay. I did the same test to see if it's true. Does it excite me when I think about it? Does it do this or that? Over and over again. If there was any hint that it might be true, I assumed it was so (to my utter dismay).

That's called "testing". If you find you're doing it a lot, it's an obsession. Don't fear! If you really wanted to be a pedophile, you would be! And you're not. Ordinarily this is enough proof, but we with OCD keep analyzing it to make sure it's not true. Recognize this is an inability to deal with the "certainty" of whether you are or are not.

Check out "I think it moved" at ocdonline.com. The gay spike is what I'm referring to. Your issue is very similar. This is classic OCD.

SocialRetahd · Expert User Joined: Dec 02, 2006 Posts: 762

Ameera00 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 19, 2007 Posts: 2

kyle

de-vin · Newbie User Joined: Nov 01, 2007 Posts: 81

I feel something similar to that...except mine isn't the split second thought of liking a child; it is the thought of doing something violent, for example for a split second I thought about hitting someone or killing them...its a symtom of OCD...inside you know it has no context...but you have that doubt in the back of your mind and you can't fully believe you don't like kids, or violence in my case...

GaryF · Newbie User Joined: Dec 21, 2007 Posts: 6

deleted

Vulvectomy · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 12, 2007 Posts: 102

If you don't trust yourself in this department, I don't trust you either. The same with people who are afraid of hurting others. The only reason you're so paranoid is because you know you have malicious intentions underneath it all and can't deal with it. Anyone who feels this way, get help. If not for yourself, think of those around you.