Wellington Social Anxiety.

shontz · Newbie User Joined: Nov 21, 2007 Posts: 1

I joined a chat room. Im not even on Bebo yet!

Irony - Going to a chat room to meet people who cant chat.

Well, I cant chat either, not in person anyway. I will most likely convince you that I am confident. but I am not. And its places like these that I will be honest to those who are honest back and hopefully I will heal.

Ive told two people that I have SA and theyre gone now. I shouldnt have told them but in a sense the admission made me smile that day.

SA is getting quite bad and I dont want it to consume me. This is me fighting back. Ill always go down fighting. I never give up but I do get tired.

Today is a hard day. My anxious lump in my stomach. Causing me to stray from reality. I get so F**ked off that I have to do that assertive therapy to dig me out. Cognitive therapy....but sometimes it works...sometimes I lose and let it have me.

Today anxiety is still here.

I was wondering if there are any kiwis who could tell me about there day. Tell me how anxiety played a role in your day today.

For me. I accepted an out of town trip to a conference in Auckland (from Wellington) Im scared as hell. I have to mingle with clients, small talk and stuff. I have to share a hotel with other people from our company. Im doing it because anxiety is the only thing trying to stop me. No one from the company knows I have it although...I think they know somethings wrong with me...different....they give me my space but when I get there Im going to be alone with anxiety. I hope Ill be ok, I hope I wont make a dick of myself. I hope I talk, I hope I dont run away....

If anyone is reading this maybe you can help. I was thinking perhaps someone can give me an assignment or something. Get me to do something out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone is the same as others here. Get me to do something and Ill try....try! and ill tell you how I went. Im sure Im brave! Maybe someone can do something like that with me? Like a game? And we'll back each other up.

All these things I wish I could do if I could get through this.

Sigh!

shonty