hi all,
my name is lucy and i could use some cheering up (
for years now iv had this problem but right now it seems to be at its worse...
it started out that i couldnt stand the way my dad ate his food. the noise, it drove me insane... but as the years have gone by its not just the sound of people eating that has drove me almost to tears but also:
biting / picking nails,
buttons tapping on phone / keyboard
people eating
crunching
slurping
tapping
high heels or our dog walking over our laminated flooring!
my dads deep voise through the walls
two tvs / radios on at once
people talking while the tele is on...
the list is endless!!! i work in an office, i can put to the back of my mind the keyboards tapping, however if somebody opens a packet of crisps i make an excuse to leave for a few minutes.
over this yr it seems to have gotten worse. i'm always arguing with my parents, brother, sister and boyfriend becuase of it, im always moody. i cant get to sleep until everyone else has so that i cant hear them talking or tvs on. im tired all the time from going bed so late then getting up for work early. it all just seems to much ( iv been on this site a few times and i feel as if i need somebody to talk to who is going through the same as me, because i dont think anybody really understands this unless they feel it themselves. (
x
Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 1:15 pm Post subject: Distorted Clock Radio
My husband and I got in a huge argument this morning before he left for work, because I asked him "could you turn that radio off?" I didn't shout, but he got irritated that I could not tune out a distorted clock radio.
The radio in question has to be on a certain volume or it will not sound in the morning. The sound literally makes my stomach hurt. I tried to tell my husband this and he started mimicking my father who is much worse off than me. I can say that my father has amplified hearing similar to hearing ants under wallpaper. He had a massive heart attack a couple of years ago and has been much less tolerant since. I can only hope that I don't have the same problem when I'm older.
When I first wake up, my tolerance for noise is low. Right now my daughter is brushing her teeth in the bathroom behind me. I asked her to close the door, because it was bothering me.
Another thing that really irritates me is when someone is trying to talk over another voice. It could be a person, a tv voice, or a radio voice. IRRITATING!
Shopping at a super store always sends my mind whirling. When they get on that loud speaker, it sounds like they are trying to out shout each other. Don't they know their voices are already amplified? I could be looking right at what I wanted to purchase, but can't concentrate enough to reach out and pick it up. Best Buy used to get on my nerves, but after many suggestions in the suggestion box to "turn the volume down", I think they actually turned it down.
It's good to know that I'm not the only one, but I really need to find out what to do about it. I don't want to have any more arguments like the continuing one over the radio. What makes it worse is that my husband has a high tolerance for anything except home decorating shows, Christian music, and the Lifetime channel.
I started out with a sensitivity to eating noises, clanking silverware and smacking. Gum chewing, etc. That was in my teens. Now in my late 20's I can't stand many noises. I work in a quiet office by most peoples standards, but to me it is almost hell! I can't leave, because I know I have a problem and it will develop anywhere I go that there are people. I actually asked my boss today if I could move my work station somewhere quieter. I couldn't explain to him how I was feeling, other than they guy in the cubicle next to me was driving me insane with his coughing, hacking, slurping, snorting, eating and nail clipping at work! He said he'd move him......and now I feel like a head case for complaining. And I know that within a matter of days someone else's habits will annoy me. I get up and leave my desk several times a day to go to the bathroom and breath or fight crying. My chest gets tight and I just want to scream! It is affecting my ability to concentrate and get things done acurately at work. I would seriously rather be in a dark closet in the basement than sit and listen to my co-workers. And then there are my neighbors in the apartment building I live in. They sound like elephants over there. Walking around constantly and slamming cupboard doors. I feel like I can't escape and relax no matt where I go.
I too cannot go to the movie theator. I haven't been there since the first date with my husband, and even then he had to twist my arm to go. I hate places like the mall and grociery store. I get over irritated with people who don't pay attention to where they are headed or what they are doing....who just walk aimlessly. I just want to yell at them to "OPEN YOUR EYES!" As I write this my neighbors are thumping around and I feel my chest getting tight....I've actually pounded on the wall to try to get them to shut up. They don't get the point. I can't listen to my husband eat (his jaw pops) or brush his teeth....
It's funny that alot of the sounds that bug us are exactly the same. Weird! There must be a connection.
I used to smack my food when I was little. I remember my brother getting mad and tormenting me. Did he play a part in me turning out this way? He still can't stand people smacking, but not to the extent that I can't. I actually make my husband eat with plastic utensils so he doesn't clang on the dishes. Am I psycho? (I'm from the U.S. So this got over the pond and is spreading....ha ha )
Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:04 pm Post subject: lack of tolerance
I can relate to all of these concerns. I've just spent the past 2 hours locked in the office to avoid listening to my wife crunch on her pretzels. She eats them several times everyday. I've always had issues with chewing sounds in particular. My wife has her hot chocolate every morning and every night, and the slurping sound she makes drives me nuts. And it's not even loud. The only thing so far that has helped a little bit is to actually eat whatever thing is making the noise at the same time with her. That way if I'm crunching I don't notice her noise as much. The other thing I might try is to imagine the noise as being something else, or putting a more pleasant image to the noise. I'll see if that helps.
Good luck to everyone else as well and thanks for sharing. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I know it's a real and tough issue to live with.
Hi Wirm, I am just the same as you and believe it or not i have a phobia just as bad as you and about the same things. It has totally ruined my life . I am now 62 and i live on my own with my 2 dogs as no way could i live with another person and have to put up with all their bodily noises like swallowing, coughing, sneezing and even breathing heavy.I did once or twice get treatment and even went to a hypnotist but in the end i was told that my phobias were so deep seated that i would have to learn to live with them. Easier said than done. i do not have many pals because of it as i never invite them to lunch or want to go socialising with them. i cannot tell them why or they will think i am a nut case. I cannot even bear to watch people eating on the tv. Years ago when i had a partener we used to eat in seperate rooms and sleep in seperate beds. He was a saint to put up with me and my phobias. i am a bit relieved to know that i am not the only one in the world that feels this way, because i honestly thought i was. Roxette.
Oh my God, I can’t believe that other people suffer from this too. I’ve never told anyone about it because I thought it was that bizarre!!!
Wirm, I can totally sympathise with you. All those things you mentioned just freak me out too to the point where I have to leave rooms or walk away from my desk at work. I work in an open plan office and it’s got so bad lately that just people typing on their keyboards drives me insane. Some people have their lunch at their desk and when they do I can hear them crunching and slurping their food so I have to go and sit in my car and have my lunch away from the noise. It’s totally debilitating to the point it rules my life. I’ve fell out with girlfriends over it because it winds me up to the point I could punch them in the face.
I found it interesting you made the point about when you were young you remember your mom gulping drinks and things like that. Well, my parents did exactly the same. When I was a kid I remember my mom would sit there night after night, chewing her finger nails, and I’ve never heard anyone make so much noise eating. I could never sleep and wake up naturally because my mom invariably got up before me and would speaks that loud it would wake me up. I could never sleep with a clock in the room because the ticking sound would drive me mad. I used to go mental when my mom opened a yoghurt. When she got to the bottom she would scrape and scrape at the tub until there was none left. Now, even when I see someone start to eat a yoghurt I feel so anxious and know I will have to move away from them. My dad always had budgies (I know, how sad) and he would sit and whistle at them each night. I couldn’t even sit in the same room and would go upstairs to my bedroom. Even then I would be on edge listening out for the slightest sound. My hearing became super sensitive and I could hear clocks ticking in other rooms that no-one else could hear. There is a woman now in the office using a calculator and all I want to do is to go over to her and snap it in half. Sounds really dumb doesn’t it?
Baumansara, I hate shopping too. There’s nothing worse than walking behind someone who hasn’t a clue where they are going. I just feel like I want to push them over and get past them. I wonder how this is related?
I have always tried to think of how this phobia came about and I think it was down to the constant repetitive noise abuse I suffered when I was a kid. It makes me on edge all the time and all I want is just piece and quiet. Sometimes I wish I was deaf.
I want to go and see my GP but feel embarrassed as I didn’t know how to explain my problem or if it was just in my head. I’d be really interested to hear of other people’s experiences and how they manage it.
I think I have a similar type of affliction to some extent. There have always been certain noises that have the ability to irritate me to the point of willing the room to explode. I don't know whether this could be likened to at base level- or termed a subset of- the other conditions that have been described, but for me, I believe this problem is rooted in a sense of misplaced sexual sensitisation.
In my case, and this may well be different for other people, the most irritating noises are 'soft' noises: as someone commented earlier- the sound of someone eating yoghurt, low voice murmurs, and above all WHISPERING.
I think as human beings we are evolutionarily calibrated to find certain noises sexually arousing- which is all very well and good when these noises are being produced by someone who you regard a sexual suitor- but when they are produced by a blood relation or other agent that you are instantly ruled, by your logical mind, to separate from any sexual emotion, the result is frustration.
In plain english- it is not that you are feeling sexual attraction to this person, but rather their certain sounds are producing a sexual stimulation that you find hard to either override or separate from them, which, in turn is met with a feeling of intense irritation.
I think that once this mechanism initially operates for a given sound- in my case, whispering- an association is born, and the stimulation of irritation becomes divorced from that subject- so that it becomes that noise in its own right that you find annoying.
in conclusion, don't whisper to me or I'll cut you
I have a problem with sniffling and people eating with their mouth's opened. I don't think it's any disorder. Everyone has something that annoys them. It's just that we hear it at nauseam and we all wish people would discover a tissue once in a while. It's doubtful their parents every forced them to blow their noses or they themselves. I know that my family does not blow their noses at times. It's awful to listen to and could ruin your dining experience or any experience while out in public. People just don't seem to realize that not everyone wants to hear their bodily functions especially in a restaurant! I think it is very socially rude.
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:06 am Post subject: can't stand certain noises
hi, it was really interesting to read your comments about your anxieties when you hear other people eating, etc. my 25 year old son seems to suffer this also and gets really mad at us when we are eating next to him and says we are disgusting etc. when we think and feel we are really eating normally. Have any of you actually had medical advice or gone to an ear specialist to check out whether there is actually a physical problem?
It doesn't seem that anyone has found a solution to helping this problem. Is there any answer to lessening the problem that anyone has found helpful? Thanks Deb
Actually, good manners dictate you eat with your mouths closed or quietly when you are in public. It's not a disorder, it's just annoying. I am sure there is something that annoys you just as badly. Something like sniffling annoys a lot of people, it's not just a select few. Believe me, I heard of a small class for business where ONE person was doing it and the rest of the people in the class gave her a box of tissues because they were there to listen to the instructor, NOT HER!
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