Why do people bully?

fizzie · Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:02 am Post subject: Why do people bully?

Is it because they find you an easy target? Is it a personal grudge even if you have never done anything to them before? Is it because they feel insecure about themselves? Or is it because they are showing off infront of their friends?

I think it is a mixture of these things but I wouldn't dream of bullying someone and making their lives hell and I feel sorry for someone who get's bullied but then I think, they don't feel sorry for me. I wish I was a stronger person who doesn't get so affected by these things. Anyone know what I mean?

jayo · Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 12:56 pm Post subject:

People bully because then enjoy the power it gives to them.
This is why it's so important to confront bullies at the outset before these patterns take hold - this is why a bully never stops bullying - they enjoy the power it gives them.

If you're being bullied take action to stop it - trust me - it works.

They can never take our self respect if we refuse to give it to them - Gandhi.

_________________
Whether you think you can or you can't, you're probably right

arjuna · Newbie User Joined: Dec 07, 2006 Posts: 57

People bully because they can and because they enjoy dominating people. They don't usually pick on people who are stronger than they are: they enjoy torturing weaker ones. That is why it is recommendable to tell as many people as possible and to take self-defense lessons before the bullying gets chronic.

ETnCW · Newbie User Joined: Oct 17, 2007 Posts: 7

Maybe they forgot what a good old ASS Whoopin' is like?
At times it a hard less to learn.

Carkie · Newbie User Joined: Nov 23, 2007 Posts: 1

It's hard to pin down exactly why a bully acts the way he does. The easy answer is that he/she enjoys the power trip. But why do bullies need to feel that kind of "power," that is to say inflict suffering and humiliation on others, often in a public forum? Some bullies are the product of their environment, often having been the victims of abuse themselves. If this is what they have always known, this is the behaviour they will think is normal and desirable. You are the boss if you dominate. Other bullies come from "good families," and so people wonder what went wrong. Some freaky brain chemistry or lack of an empathy gene perhaps. The parents must have spoiled the kid rotten and forgot to teach them basic respect for others.

Whatever went wrong, most of the time the behaviour can be changed, but it requires that everyone gets involved. The victim has to speak out. The bystanders have to step in. The school and authorities have to crack down. The parents have to assume responsibility for their kid's actions. The bully has to accept help.

The worst thing to do is to do nothing. The victims will only continue to suffer, and the bully will continue to believe that he/she can get away with it. Why do bullies bully? Because they are allowed to.

maggie · Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:59 pm Post subject: Re: Why do people bully?

alter_ego · Newbie User Joined: Apr 26, 2007 Posts: 91

People bully because they are inadequate in some area of their lives. Workplace bullies are inevitably incompetent in their job and to cover their tracks need to put down colleagues of a lower grade. Some workplace bullies bully because they feel threatened by someone in a lower grade who seems more popular, more able to cope with the job etc. School bullies usually have some kind of homelife problem (parents on drugs/drink/violent) not that that's any excuse. But again school bullies bully because they feel threatened by someone who is maybe prettier, more intelligent etc

Research apparently shows that school bullies frequently end up in jail!

I'm not writing this to make anyone feel better. I'm simply stating facts. Smile

Vancouver · Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:55 pm Post subject:

It's an insecurity. Then again, so is social phobia. I think everyone posting here can even slightly relate to them. They feel a need to get a rise out of people they perceive as weak so they can feel better about themselves. But apparently it never works, cause they're always coming back for more.

That seems like a pretty dead lifestyle. I'd rather be a little shy than to have to confront that image in the mirror everyday.

millymoocow · Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 1:08 am Post subject:

people bully for a number of reasons:

*they are very self-conscious, and they wanna project how they feel about themselves onto you

*they have/have had a very hard life, and they have to direct their anger somewhere

*they see you as a vulnerable, easy-to-hurt person

*they are really softies/quiet/etc. people but they dont want others to see them as that, so they bully you to make themselves look tough

*they want to be popular/have alot of power/have people scared of them

*they are secretly jealous of you and they want to make you look stupid in front of everyone else

*they know, or feel that, you have done them wrong so they are doing you wrong back.

i dont get it- there are people like me who wanna make everyone elses life better because they have not-so-perfect lives, and then there are people like bullies who have hard lives also but they gotta make everyone elses lives hell because they dont wanna be alone? Confused

just remember-they bully cuz they are self-conscious and they arent as tough as they seem.

i hope that this helps people!

Jayce · Newbie User Joined: Sep 18, 2008 Posts: 7

Bullies bully because they are nasty people.
Targets are targetted because they are nice people.