help. i don't know what to do

xkate · Newbie User Joined: Dec 03, 2007 Posts: 2

The short version:

I can’t seem to get comfortable around new people. While this isn’t odd for most people this may be:

- I can’t watch t.v. with people or just one person because anything remotely intimate, sexual, controversial. In extreme cases I can’t even see a t.v. commercial or cartoon. Things will make me so uncomfortable that I physically “jump”…or have this reaction like a ‘jolt’. It’s as if someone poked me or something.
- it's not just television but that seems to be the hardest thing to overcome. it can happen with normal conversation...and other social settings
- This kind of tension and anxiety is heightened with one on one interaction so much more. I feel very uncomfortable when someone (generally male) sits next to me…I can have the same kind of reaction as described before at any time.
- I don’t have any problems with sex or having sex. I was never abused or had a tragic event happen.
- a man can move his hand a certain way and it will make me want to jump up and leave the room.

I don’t understand.

This is embarrassing and it’s torture. I am so tired of making excuses to exclude myself from people I really want to get to know. I can’t control these “jolts” or discomfort.

Help. If you want to ask me a question about this go ahead, I’m looking for answer.

Btw. I’m on 20 mgs of lexapro for depression…the depression is fine but not this kind of social anxiety.

Diluted_Acid · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:12 pm Post subject:

Hey Kate, yeah . . . . i THINK i understand what your saying. So basically you feel really self-conscious . . perhaps embarrased when next to people/someone and lets say you hear a certain song, or see a certain commercial? If thats what you mean, then yeah i think its a result of being to self-conscious. I on the other hand can only really recall feeling embarrased when a song would come on the radio (thinking it would remind people of me), or seeing a guy on a commercial who might look like me. I'm glad to know you can have sexual encounters and so forth, however i think to overcome this problem, you should try continue facing it and perhaps slowly trying to focus your attention elsewhere, e.g. try imagining what the lady doing the commercial felt like at the time, or try imagine how much fun your friends may be having at the time, or how happy/comfortable they may feel around you. Just try maybe relaxing and not even thinking very much. I also struggle with this and wish i could give better advice.