Anti-Romeo: Paindrivenlife Vs The Female Species

paindrivenlife · Newbie User Joined: Nov 22, 2006 Posts: 5

Cool title huh? I felt like writing this out, so if you want to read it, I'd welcome opinions.

I've had panic attacks and anxiety disorder for most of my life. I'm 28 now and have been suffering from it since my father's death when I was 8...so do the math. The horrors of agoraphobia kicked in later and compounded the problem. Because of that, I've been a step behind or even completely inept with any semblance of social grace. That being said, it wasn't until high school that I even began to formulate what I thought was a coherent plan for talking to or socializing with girls.

Note: I thought they were coherent and reasonable plans. Imagine being a senior in high school, 3 friends in the whole world to your name, and spending your time in class composing a love note to give to the friend of someone you have set your sights on. The best I could manage was a two-week "relationship" with the girl who had the reputation as the school slut. (By the way, she was a sweet girl and I do not for a second think she was really a slut. Truth be told, it was the low self esteem she had from being thought of as a slut that even allowed me to talk to her.)

By college, I had reached the elusive status of approaching, and even talking to women. Of course, my problems precluded me from, say, spending a ton of time on campus. I went to a party of two here and there, but it usually seemed to be a waste of time. After all, I didn't drink or smoke and was a generally a geek of a guy. And the previously mentioned approaches usually consisted of me telling her hi, asking what her major was, asking her if she had a boyfriend and if not, did she want to go out. Yes, that was actually what I did. As you can imagine, it never went well. So there I was, a 22 year old virgin who had, at most, snuck fleeting kisses with the old high school outcast.

It only got worse. Fast forward to today. As shame, bitterness, and depression over my situation have entrenched themselves into my soul, I have had 6 or 7 encounters with equally desperate women from the net, and various unhealthy flings. I've been told that I simply "look creepy" and have literally had the police called on me upon simply entering a building. I've had lively conversations with many an already-taken woman and utter failure with the others. My first real girlfriend broke up with me after two weeks. I don't think she could handle my illnesses. Go figure.

So far I'm losing the game at about 234-12 at halftime.

Butterflies · Intermediate User Joined: Oct 10, 2007 Posts: 137

Game's not over yet... your situation doesn't sound great though ... Just a question ... Tried a flirt coach Smile

Why do you think they say you look creepy? and the police - sounds severe. Sorry, I tend to ask alot of questions Smile

paindrivenlife · Newbie User Joined: Nov 22, 2006 Posts: 5

Ask away! They say I stare alot which I suppose may be true. Also, I can hold a conversation, but there are times when I mess up the little things. Like during those awkward pauses, say I make some bad joke...then compound the situation by trying to fix the joke afterwards. Then make it even worse by trying to staying around after the disaster instead of leaving the way a normal person would. Stuff like that is probably part of it.

rado31 · Expert User Joined: Sep 15, 2006 Posts: 693

Screw them , it is their problem

It is not our duty always to seek problems in our behaviours

Go let them hang out with some gangsta looking idiot

And tell them not to come back one day (if) they got smarter

Danfalc22 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 17, 2007 Posts: 47

Wow.. least your trying.. thats a posative thing,takes so much guts to aproach girls and that when you have low self esteem ect i havnt really got anything constuctive to say tbh Confused

I think nervous behaviour can easily get mistaken for "creepyness" or even arrogance... dont take it to heart.Im really in no posistion to offer you advice but...there will be a girl out there for you who will understand you.. and these girls who are saying your creepy ect dont deserve you mate dont try and change for them.

Atlantis · Newbie User Joined: Jan 09, 2008 Posts: 72

If got curious, but if you allow m to ask.... Why exactly your relationships do not last long ?

I am asking because I had not the courage to ask women out yet, but maybe things are starting to get better... I'm feeling more able, but I wonder if I will be able to keep up with them, or everything will go wrong after sometime and they will want to break up with me. Do you, or anyone has any advices ?