When I was reading your second post Moony, I too was going to suggest that he might be slipping into depression. His comment that having two people in your life having OCD might be distressing to you is a direct sign of depression - what he is probably trying to do is get you to realize how distressing it is to him by letting you know how distressing it will be to you.
I know you don't want to smother him, but it sounds like he really wants to talk about it - this is another common symptom of depression - wanting to talk about your issues and get sympathy. However, I wouldnt push it because you're right, that could push him away. I would just leave it an open option for him. Continue sending him little text messages if you tihnk he is slipping into a dangerous depression because the reminder that someone cares about you can be extremely helpful in managing depression.
I have ocd also and its not you its just that he is embarrased to tell you about the contamination.....trust me its not you..... money is so disgusting and i make my bf wash his hands and feet b4 even coming in my house....good luck just tell him youll adapt to his regimine and it will work trust mee;;
On the flip side...what if he thinks I am contaminated now, and this is why he ran away from me... do I just let it go as it's hopeless now?
Does OCD ever get better?
OR... maybe he's just a dude that doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore... I mean... that could be true too.
I just don't know if I should just let it go or not...
I just want him to be safe though.
You're welcome.
If he does think you're contaminated, which I really hope isn't the case, then it'll probably be awfully hard to de-contaminate your house, you, whatever he thinks about you is contaminated. You should ask him, flat-out (but don't be mean about it :3), if that's the case. However, I'm thinking he's more likely feeling guilty because two people around you have OCD.
OCD does get better, sometimes, or it can change... Like, his current OCD may turn into another kind of OCD- like counting, paranoid thoughts, etc.
Hi all, I went offline for a couple of days, but I really want you to know how much I appreciate your thoughts and words... I do go between wanting to reach out, being angry/hurt, being worried...I think I am going to write him an email tonight... I was out tonight and a lot of our mutual friends asked where he was lately (they are friends from an activity we do together, so not like...super childhood friends), and how he is doing... and I just really don't know what to say...I told them we broke up, and everyone sounded shocked... and I don't really know what to say, "yeah, things just didn't work out" because I don't want to give any impression that he's not doing okay. It's a touchy subject obviously...
Anyhow, thank you for all of your insights and kind words and supports... If you ever have any questions about how a partner may perceive something not having ocd in a relationship with you... don't ever hesitate to PM me anytime.
I have ocd also and its not you its just that he is embarrased to tell you about the contamination.....trust me its not you..... money is so disgusting and i make my bf wash his hands and feet b4 even coming in my house....good luck just tell him youll adapt to his regimine and it will work trust mee;;
If you ever need to talk or ask questions im here anytime.
Hi Moony,
Obviously, you never know for sure what another person is thinking, but I had this exact same situation with girlfriend (now wife of 10 years). She had no clue until I finally got up the nerve to tell her. She was very understanding which in turn (looking back) opened up my vulnerability even more. After that I didn't have as much will-power to fight my urges which fed my compulsions into a spiral downhill. If you are able to mend the relationship, I would say keep being as supportive as you have been, but don't cater his obsessions and feed the beast.
Just a suggestion - send him this blog. It has just laid out all of your questions and concerns wonderfully and it could help him to hear from others who have thoughts just like him. Good Luck.
Thanks MHX... I'm still really worried about him, he stopped communication with all of our friends, and they continuously ask me if I spoke to him... I just keep saying he's really busy with work, and needed time away from everything, so just to give him some space and time... and I act like I'm being all cool and everything is cool... but then it is totally eating me up inside... I've written him one email per week for the last month and sent him a few text messages... and NOTHING. No reply, no nothing...
I keep asking him for answers though... like WHY he cut me out, WHY he won't answer anyone else's emails etc... and I don't know if I am making it worse for him...
I just don't know what to do still.
I want to give him space, but I don't want to think he needs someone and is too ashamed to ask... and also, because all of this sometimes I get really angry and think... maybe he's just a lying jerk and he's using this all as an excuse....
All in all, I'm finding it a bit hard to move on, because I always want to be this "care taker"... and I know that's probably a whole issue of mine to come to terms with. Why are people so damn complex?
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Why are people so damn complex?