Grr! I'm frustrated! (ocd+career??)

RedRibbons

HEY! As maybe some of you know... I have mild ocd, in the form of obsessive thinking/intrusive thoughts... revolving mostly around sexual 'things'. ANYWAY! One of the obsessions, is the fear of being a pedophile.. woo *sigh*.

The thing here is.. I am interested in helping troubled youth... Being a child and youth worker, or a counselor of some sort.. I am scared to go to school for that though.. because I don't want to have to be around young people, and talk about tough things, and then react poorly because of my OCD. I don't know what to do...

Should I just go for it? Or should I look for some other career path? I mean I have a couple options.. But psychology just seems to flow smoothly with me..

Grr! What a crappy burden.. I want to do something, but my own fear is holding me back.. If anyone knows what it's like to have ocd/sa(lol!!), then I don't need to explain my fears in full detail.. There are just so many.. :/

What do I do?????????????????????????????? *sigh*

Norby · Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:41 am Post subject:

Unless you're likely to act upon these thoughts then I don't think you should let it hold you back.
Take a shot at it; see how it goes.

RedRibbons · Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:51 am Post subject:

It sounds so straight-forward, but the major fear, paired with the uncertainty of my future career path.. It's 10 million times more difficult to just go for it.

Also, idk if I am avoiding it because of the fear, or for other reasons.. I don't know the true motive for my avoidance... I can only assume it's this ocd business.

Mad

BFox · Newbie User Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 5 Location: Canada

Don't you think you're answering your own question?

You state that you have an obsessive fear of being a pedophile, and also question your ability to control your reaction if you work with troubled youth?

Troubled youth are extremely vulnerable, and need a safe and capable adult in control to guide and protect them.

Do you think that your dilemma, wrestling with fears of being a pedophile, is going to serve their best interests? I would question your motives as to why you want to work with youth if this is your struggle. If you feel that you are at risk of being a danger to youth, why would you consider pursuing this path?

Psychology doesn't need to involve working with youth, there are many career paths you can take with this and the options are many.

If you have an obsessive fear of becoming a pedophile, please get help with it rather than exposing vulnerable youth to the demons you are wrestling with. Troubled youth have enough scars the've been dealt and don't need to be exposed to someone who has such obsessive thoughts and questions their ability to possibly react badly.

krs2snow · Advanced User Joined: Jan 25, 2008 Posts: 319

Hi Redribbons. I don't necessarily deal with ocd. Maybe to a degree, but not to the full extent that I know ocd encompasses. But, I question weather you are dealing with ocd or just an obsessive thought pattern? The reason I ask is... my sister has had issues with this particular topic and has, at times, been convinced she was a pedophile. She is NOT. She has NEVER been. But, it is an obsessive thought that continues to haunt her. This has made me wonder whether or not she doesn't have some issues to deal with from her early childhood...? I don't know. I am not a psychologist, but I have urged her to go talk w/someone about these irrational fears. I think they may not only create an irrational fear of being around young children but also an empathy towards them. I guess what I am saying is, I think you need to explore your true feelings in a safe environment (ie. counseling) and find out what they stem from, first. I don't think you are a pedophile and I don't believe you would be putting children at risk by being their caretaker/counselor. I just think you (people in general) need to figure out what to nurture "within" in order to figure out what you want to do "without".

lifes_to_long · Intermediate User Joined: Jun 29, 2006 Posts: 192

I totally understand where your coming from I've suffered from simular OCD traits such as fear of being a pedophile. fear of being racist and anything that I feel people have harsh opinions on and this is what fuels my negative thoughts, though I know I'm none of these things which I hope you know is true to yourself. I can also understand why you feel drawn to working with kids and its not to be confused with sexual desire.Alot of people that go through something as life changing as the people on this site, feel the need to help others.As for what you should do, well some people have said think of the children but thats a total misconception, probly one of the many reasons we have these fears in the first place.Think of yourself, is this going to make you a stronger person, or dominate and worry you about the possibility of difficult topics.

recluse

nandito · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:59 pm Post subject:

I've been learning a lot from my first psychotherapy meetings these las few months.

In order to understand your fears, you have to try to focus in the most negative side and in the positive side.

Ok, so you think you'll end up being a pedophile, you should ask yourself, why you haven't finished like that yet?. how many other fears about becoming someone bad have you fulfilled?.

Now, in the positive side. Maybe you hate pedophiles, maybe this thoughts will lead you to understand what you don't want to become.

Normally serial killers and pedophiles do not seek for help, nor share their thoughts, they sometimes had a bad past. Share your thoughts here then, share the things you have done that makes you a pedophile.

In my case, I have those kind of thoughts once in a while, I manage to understand that they are they cause my lack of experience with intimacy. My negativity sinks me into a deeper well, a train of bad thoughts. But after all, I haven't done anything bad.

Now, feeling attraction for females or males quite younger than you happens also to normal people, it just that they know that it is just a thought in a year, something that they don't even have to bother about, thoughts that comes and goes.

Get yourself busy so you'll find no time to such stupid worries.