Joined: Oct 22, 2007 Posts: 260 Location: England, Devon
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:34 pm Post subject:
Hey fred welcome, saw your post and had to say something. First off im sorry to hear all this and also wow that your keeping on going thats extremely strong of you, you have so much on your shoulders and yet you still carry on. It is great that love and faith can be so powerful. Im suprised to hear that you are shunned from society and even from other family, if anything you should be respected. Anyways i hope things will get better for you and you find help on this forum.
_________________ It's funny when you're so far into an introspective state that if someone speaks to you, your brain ultimately crashes.
Wow. Suffice it to say I don't feel so alone here. Perhaps I should apologize for leaping right in and posting on the main forums before coming here.
I'll try and keep it short and sweet, 'cause believe me I've spent years rehearsing my big Sob Story just waiting for the right time to deploy it. (And using the word "deploy" is staggeringly appropriate given the magnitude of unbridled anger that might come with it) Perhaps it's a blessing that I haven't had that chance yet, I don't know.
Basically it's like this. I can't look people in the eyes. When I do, it's like I'm touching a hot iron. My instinct kicks in and tells me to look away. So because of that, I've given up on even trying to start a conversation with someone, 'cause I know I'm just going to tick them off in the first 20 seconds. I have no problem adding to a conversation that's already taking place with some jive remark, but that's about it.
I do believe it's psychological, too, because I have this problem with the concept of expectations. As in, I don't believe it's right to hoist expectations on the shoulders of others, and when you look someone in the eye that's basically what you're doing. You're demanding their attention, and I don't see how anyone could possibly be so egotistical as to think they deserve it. 'Cause I sure don't think I do. I don't think that I am more important than anything that person could possibly be doing or thinking, it doesn't matter who they are. If I look someone in the eyes, it's like that's exactly what I'm saying to that person: I'm important to you. I'm more important than what you were doing, I'm more important than what you were thinking about. You're going to stop whatever you were doing, and you're going to talk to me. I don't care if you have loved ones in the hospital, I don't care what battles you're fighting. You're going to ignore all that, and focus on me, 'cause I matter more than all of that. Right now, I'm all that matters in this world to you. And I won't be that. In 31 years I've yet to find a way to refute that.
So when I watch "American Idol" and see these peoples' jaws drop at the sight of a 19-year old guy who has never even so much as kissed a girl, I shudder at the thought of how sad I must look, being 31 and having had no such thing happen myself. But hey, we exist. I'm just glad to know I'm not alone.
Joined: Feb 25, 2008 Posts: 56 Location: Australia
Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:14 am Post subject:
Hi people
Finally got round to actually writing this, i've been putting it off for so long. Just wanted to introduce myself, i am 20 and bascially feel like i have not lived at all and am running out of time. I am pretty sure i have some kind of social phobia type of thing as i have no friends and find it so difficult to interact with people. In social situations i feel so inhibted, like i am a statue. My self confidence is non existent.
Anyway i could go on and on about it but after finding this site i have found it really interesting to read and find myself identifying heaps with what people have written. Yet the thing that makes me feel worse about this whole thing is the fact that compared to most people i have been so lucky with what i have been given in life. Really i could have not asked for more yet i can't make anything of it.
Hope this is not too long. I look forward to posting further (if i don't wimp out and run away, something i seem to be very good at). There seems to be some really cool, interesting people on here, it is so good to hear that there are other people out there who share similar feelings (not really good for them i know but if you get what i mean).
Hi All, I'm new here and not sure where to introduce myself so I'll just start here. Hope I'm not crewing it up already
I joined because I have severe CS (compensatory sweating) from the ETS surgery I had done 1 year ago for sweaty hands. I deeply regret the decision and am always looking for other HH or ETS sufferers because only we know how truly humiliating and debilitating it is. I am hoping to find some understanding friends who are coping with this too and I hope to provide encouragement to others as I do not suffer as much from it metally as unfortunately many others do. I hope to start a support group here in Denver where we can meet in person.
hello everybody
Iam 26 years old and i have SA for 15 years, ever since my 5 grade.
Everything started, whend i became the target of bullying after my 4 year, it lasted for about 6 years, and had permanent efect on my life.
Every day has been a struggle to fight SA.
Dispite all i have had small victories, by forcing myself every day to do things that my SA stops me from doing, the last was to join a gymn.
The firts days where agonizing, but now it has became normal. Thats the way a struggle with my SA.
Also finding this forum was extremely important, before i use to think i was alone, that i was a freak or something, to know there are tons of persons like me, that know exactly how i feel and struggle whith the same problems, is very invigorating.
Finally, let me just say i love cats, books and traveling around the world.
Hi everyone. I'm a 21 year old high school senior from NYC. I think I have agoraphobia. I say "I think" because I haven't officially been diagnosed as of yet. It's been about 2 days since I left the house. And that was because I had promised my mother that I would go with her to the hospital to visit my grandmother. Before that I spent about 2 or 3 weeks inside. And before that it must have been about a month.
I stopped regularly going out around mid-November after a pretty unsettling experience involving my ex-best friend. I thought I was over it but I was merely avoiding my feelings by sleeping all day and night. One day from school extended to a week, a month, and so on. My school has called me to encourage me to come back so we can work something out. I was supposed to go Monday and it's now Thursday.
The only time I do go out is when I am with someone close to me like my mother or if I need to get food or do laundry. I rarely go out in the daytime. It's hard for me to even look outside of my front door. If there is anybody outside I will automatically hide behind the door.
I could go on about this but this is only an introduction and I don't want to bore anybody with my life's sob story.
I have been diagnosed with depression, mild bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorder. I've been to a therapist before but I stopped going because of finances and difficulties from my family.
In my spare time, I spent just about all of my time on the computer. I like to visit forums, play MMORPGs, watch anime and Asian dramas, and chat with friends online. When I did go out I liked to go to arcades, travel, and visit bookstores.
Also, it must be said that I love cats.
[edit:]
I'd like to mention that I found this site through Encyclopedia Dramatica, a parody shock version of Wikipedia. If you don't know what it is, you're probably better off leaving it that way. :p
_________________ Under this hard glossy shell, there is a creamy chocolate filling underneath.
After lurking around for days, I finally decided to register. I'm a 16-year-old girl, living in the Netherlands. From the outside, my life looks almost perfect. I have great parents, my sister and I actually get along and I love my brother. People tell me I'm not bad-looking. You could even say I'm a straight-A student (I'm not sure though, the system works different in the Netherlands).
But that's just the outside.
Nobody knows the real-me. I haven't told a soul how terrified I am of anything involving communication with other people. I'm afraid to go to the store. If my mom asks me to get something for her she forgot to buy (something ordinary like bread), I always make up an excuse not to go. And I know it's completely irrational to think like that, but I just can't help myself.
I never go out. Everyone my age goes clubbing. I don't, just because I'm too afraid to go. I know I would be awfully insecure about everything: my clothing, my body, talking to other people, even my way of moving . I've told everyone that I hate dancing. But I like to dance, and I know I can.
Right now my whole class is in Italy, participating in a exchange program. They're visiting interesting places and probably will have a lot of fun. I decided to stay at home. Just thinking about it is enough to make me terribly nervous and nauseous.
Tomorrow I have to give a presentation, together with two other people. And as if that's not bad enough, I have to do in in a foreign language: English. I already know I'm not going to sleep very well tonight. If I sleep three or four hours, I'll be lucky. Tomorrow morning I will probably be nauseous and have a headache. My hands will be shaking, and I already know I'm gonna screw up. Big time.
I spend most of my free time on my computer. I feel safe in my own room, knowing that I'm in control there. I love listening to music, playing/cuddling with my pets, reading books and watching my favorite TV shows (Bones, CSI:NY, L&O: SVU/CI, Cold Case, Conviction and Standoff). And yes, I know it's not healthy, watching so many TV shows. But I feel relaxed and safe watching them.
I've never been diagnosed with SA, so I'm not sure I 'have' it. But it's comforting to know that I'm not alone. Many people feel the same way as I do, and it's good to know that.
Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:27 pm Post subject: Hi, I'm new
(disclaimer: I already posted this in one thread but I realized I should've posted it here instead.....so sorry for the double posting)
Hi Everyone, I'm new here and I'm happy to see that there are others out there that share my same problems.
I thought I'd share a little about myself and my social anxiety, I'm going to make this into a list so that I focus more on what I'm sharing than my grammar.
-I'm currently 23 years old and going on my 5th year in college (I've realized that I'm probably going on an extra year of college partly due to my SA)
-I've had the same few friends since high school, it takes me a really long time to warm up to people but once I do I'm outgoing and talkative and I don't hesitate to say anything on my mind, pretty much the opposite of the way I am in public.
-Sometimes when in public, or a college class where I'm forced to work with a group.....there are times where I won't say a single word. I just sit there and wait for it to be over. I feel absolutely horrible about myself afterwards. When it comes to class participation, forget it. I don't say anything at all.
-I'm an education major and student teaching is coming up and I'm completely terrified of it, I've considered dropping out or switching to a major which would be the least likely to put me in social situation. I want to teach 1st graders, I don't have a problem interacting with kids but I know I'll have a problem with other adults.
-I have a job at a clothing store and the only reason I like working there is because not many people come into the store and only one person has to be working at the store at a time so I don't have to interact with other employees. The thought of switching jobs (which I might have to do soon) or working with other people at a job scares the crap out of me. Thankfully, my boss is pretty understanding about my shyness and I've grown to feel pretty comfortable working for him.
-I feel comfortable around my immediate family but I feel SA around my grandparents and other relatives that I'm not used to seeing every day.
-I feel strong SA when it comes to going to the doctor, dentist, hair places, stores, gyms etc etc
-I avoid going to places where I know there will be a lot of people, I skipped my friends birthday party tonight because I knew she would be inviting people I didn't know
-I don't do pretty much anything I'd ideally like to do because of my SA, I'd like to join clubs on campus, I'd like to do sports again, I'd like to be able to go anywhere and not feel this overwhelming SA feeling. The only times I feel free of it is when I'm drunk Embarassed
-I've had two boyfriends, both of which I've met on the internet. I've been in a great relationship with my current boyfriend and I've made excuses upon excuses about not meeting his parents though we've been together for almost 8 months and he'd really like me to meet them, I'm petrified of meeting new people.
-I haven't made a single friend here at college, my shy friend from high school and I purposely went to the same college so we could room together. She had to move back home so I got a single room.
-I have a problem making eye contact with new people, I always feel like they're thinking horrible things about me.
anyways, the list goes on and on. I'm sure these are just common things that people with SA feel but I thought I'd share anyways.
I'm really fed up with living my life this way. I feel like I haven't been living my life to the fullest because I'm so afraid of being around and interacting with new people. I'm always worried what people are thinking about me, I always think that they're thinking I'm weird, stupid, ugly, etc.
I always fantasize about all the things that I wish I could do if I didn't have SA. I had a chance to go on a school trip to Australia and I passed it up because I'm too scared to meet the new people that would be on the trip with me.
I don't know how to get past this, I thought I would eventually grow out of it. I just want to live a normal life and be myself. I want to make the most of my life.
I know that I need help but I don't really have the means to get help so this forum is my first start. Sorry if that was tedious to read.
*Anyways, I'd love to exchange frequent emails with anyone who has similar SA issues as me. I like this site so far but I'd really like to have a one on one type of thing with people who share similar problems. If you're interested please send me a private message on here and I'll give my email address out. Thank you.*
I'm 19 years old and have lived with terrible anxiety problems my whole life, mainly panic attacks and that such thing. I have bad PMDD and "unofficially diagnosed" OCD. I say unofficially, because I've never been outright medicated for it, but I have been pretty much told that yeah, I have it, but I manage to keep it "bottled up," so to speak. If I would have been under competent help when I was younger I likely would have been.
It has gotten better as I've gotten older. I have outgrown old fears but am still dealing with new ones. Oh well, it's nice to see that there's a forum such as this.
I am studying to become a veterinarian and move on with my life, and live happily despite my drawbacks.
I just want to introduce myself a little bit
I'm a 23 year old girl. I have social phobia and I have also had depression and panic disorder. I'm glad that I found this forum online, because I've always felt I was alone with this problem! There are more people in my family that have social phobia.. but it's not something we talk about. It's so annoying to be afraid of other people, and not being able to live life to the fullest.
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