Joined: Jun 04, 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Toronto,Canada.
Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:10 am Post subject: Sa & your Job?
I don't work right now...
Has SA helped you, interms of trying to encourage you to make an effort to be more social with people.
Or has this disorder discourged ur efforts in working, & trying to keep a steady job?
Joined: Jul 30, 2007 Posts: 167 Location: hamilton, on, canada
Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 6:42 am Post subject:
have SA _helped_ me???
SA only makes my jobs more stressful. im a student right now, i've taken a couple of part time jobs at tim hortons, subway, bestbuy, and tech support for bell sympatico.
all of which dealt with people. bestbuy was my first real job. i dont know how i got hired for a sales rep but i got fired VERY QUICKLY because i just couldnt talk to customers without feeling very tense.
a few years passed and i got a job as tech support for sympatico. talking to strangers on the phone, fixing their computer problems really helped with my SA a ton, as i'm much less shy when talking to strangers 1 on 1.
yeah SA doesn't help me at work it makes me feel like crap, the worst is when some big mouth would tell me to smile, or ask why I'm so quiet. The good thing is I drive around a warehouse on a forklift and only talk to my leadhands for new assignments, but during breaks its a nightmare. I just feel awkward and tense, find it hard to smile and feel alianated.
SA is about all I can remember of my past job experiences. Everyday felt like a pointless struggle just to seem normal to my co-workers and customers. Then I'd go home so exhausted that my body ached as if I'd been doing manual labor for 10 hours straight. In reality I'd only been dealing with people all day, battling my social anxiety while trying to keep up with the demands of the job. In the end though I'd crack and just wouldn't be able to handle it any more. I'm trying to find a different sort of working environment to be in as stores and restaurants simply will not work for me right now. Try as I might, I can't handle customer service.
My SA means i cant seem to make proper friends at work, when people ask me out for a drink I always say no .
Yesterday a girl and her friend asked me to come along with them, out for a drink, and I said 'I don't think so'
she said 'Why not?!?' and I stupidly replied 'Well I'm just not a big fan of going out', then she said 'You just stay in 24/7 then?' and i repled 'Well.....not really....I go out sometimes'. Thats my problem, I make friends at work but I havnt got the social skills to hang onto friendships and end up making a fool of myself in the end.
But the actual 'work' side of things is fine, I just keep my head down and get on with. I have to deal with alot of customers but its always a short amount of time i have to deal with each one so its not so bad ( i work part time as a cashier).
I make friends at work but I havnt got the social skills to hang onto friendships and end up making a fool of myself in the end.
That has happened to me aswell, we live in irony, we are our worst enemy it seems. I believe we can be social we just have to find the key to that closed door inside of us. I think my fears come from finding that I like being introverted its all I've known, but I need people too, friends make the world go round.
I found that going out and getting a job definitely helped my social anxiety a lot! Everyone, whether they have social anxiety or not is nervous/anxious at starting a new job ~ so everybody's in the same boat. Not to mention that in a workplace, nobody really cares about socializing ~ it's all about not being lazy, showing up everyday & getting your work done as best as you can manage. The more you're around the same people, the better you get to know them & the more you feel comfortable around them. It took me a long while to loosen up (especially around the boss) but now, I have no anxiety around my co-workers/boss at all. Most jobs follow a routine with a familiar group of people on a daily basis, so it's tremendously easier to befriend them. As far as going out somewhere with any co-workers ~ if you're still feeling too anxious, don't worry about it. You'll loosen up more and more as time goes on...and who says you MUST go places outside of work to be friends?? I have a few co-workers that are friends of mine that I rarely go out with anywhere outside of work. Honestly, what "friends" do you know of, hang out with eachother for more than 8 hours a day, everyday? It's not that big of a deal to just see them at work if ya don't feel like going to a social gathering afterwards.
Joined: Nov 06, 2007 Posts: 106 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:35 am Post subject:
I guess it depends on what your definition of friendship is _________________ Believe it or not, one day you will be doing something and you'll realise you've forgotten to be scared!
the last job i had was at a retail store and i had to deal with people ALL THE TIME. i was scared at first and i couldnt sleep or eat good for about a week. But after that it was kinda ok. i chatted with people i worked with and i actually liked maybe 2 or 3 of them. but thankfully noone ever asked me if i wanted to go out to drink or eat with them later on...that wouldve made me anxious.
i only worked there for 3 weeks and that was a month ago. when i was working i felt more confident and a lot less depressed. but now im back in my little hole. its weird to think i ever had a job and that i actually kinda liked it. cause now im nervous and anxious and scared about starting another job and getting used to that all over again. so i think when i was working i felt more comfortable talking to people, and for a while i thought maybe i was cured!...but i was wrong im still really bad at talking to people. _________________ giggity giggity giggity http://sleepyb88.livejournal.com/
I lived off a student loan until recently, when I decided to drop out of college temporarily to work on my anxiety (BIG paradox there). Now I have to find a job to avoid having to move home, away from my girlfriend and many of the other things that allow me to improve my condition anxiety. Right now, doing work for money seems a lot more intimidating than being a student. On top of that, I just got kicked out of my apartment and have exactly one week to find a new place. I'm screwed! _________________ That is my two cents. Keep the change.
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im still really bad at talking to people. 
