Am I OCD?

sosantney · Newbie User Joined: Jan 31, 2008 Posts: 11

Before I post, I just want to note, I understand that I can get receive medical advice accurately without consulting a doctor (which I have many times) but after I post, hopefully you'll understand why I respect the opinion more for someone who suffers from the disorder than an actual doctor telling me.

My history- my name Is Anthony, I am 22 years old. Since the time I was 16 I've been in and out of therapy. Since I was 16 most of the therapist have told me that i am OCD. This is why they believe this. My problem is that my mind races constantly, I am over analytical to the extent that I won't believe anything because I believe it can be interpreted in some many different variations that it must not really be that may, it must just be my current perception of how it is. When I do become Obsessive about something, I usually won't feel relief till I do what my head tells me to do. For example, tonight I said, "If I post online, I'll never have the real answer" When I know that's not true, but I still feel the overwhelming need to do it. But... sometimes I don't think what the doctors tell me is true because one, they tell me so many different things without really knowing me, I've often been told I'm Bipolar also. I also don't think I am and maybe this is a stereotype but I don't have germaphobic rituals, although I do have other ones... like using blue lighters. I know in my heart that if I use a blue lighter nothing bad will happen, but my head tells ...well maybe so don't even do it. But most of it is mental. The most common thing is stuff like..., stupid stuff. Tonight I spilt a bag of pretzel and I was picking them up, and I didn't pick them all up at first, and thought, this is symbolic to my life, always half done, and I do that with everything. I have this fear that if I take psych meds that they will completely just make me stop thinking and I won't be able to use my Obsessive behavior in a creative way like school. I just feel really lost.

obsessive · Newbie User Joined: Jan 27, 2008 Posts: 23

I'm not a doctor but you defnitely should take your meds. You say you've been OCD for a while, what is it that you actually obsess about? I know OCD can surround ccontamination from germs, death , sex and religion. Do you have any compulsions/rituals? (i'm trying to get a clearer picture of what is going on)

sosantney · Newbie User Joined: Jan 31, 2008 Posts: 11

I guess my compulsions are more of I believe something will happen if I do or do not do something, even though I know it's not true. This is a minor example, If I use blue lighters something bad will happen. I know it's not true, but just incase I don't use blue lights. Also say for example I do if I leave half the dishes in the dishwasher and half in the sink, I think that is a sign of the significance of my life, half done. I know it's true, but I start to believe it and then see it everything else. If that makes sense. I don't know how to explain it, except more when it's happening. Also I don't like writing because I often feel lt's misleading and also feels there is something left out, so nothing is real with absolutes and there are no absolutes

obsessive · Newbie User Joined: Jan 27, 2008 Posts: 23

so you think/believe what you see around you represents your life or what you are. You give meaning to whats around you is that right?

hollie666 · Newbie User Joined: Oct 20, 2007 Posts: 21

dude i do the exact same thing!!

i didnt no it fell under OCD hmmm

sosantney · Newbie User Joined: Jan 31, 2008 Posts: 11

I don't necessarily believe everything around me is symbolic of my life, but I often associate it to that yes. I dunno maybe I do. I believe everything and I believe nothing, if that makes sense.