Really frustrated

crashmodem · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:46 pm Post subject: Really frustrated

I am really frustrated with everything.

well maybe i should narrow it down

First, i just don't understand why girls don't like me. And also why every other guy, even more geekier than i am have girlfriends, and have a life. I feel like i am the only person who does not have a life, nor has any prospects with life.

I am just so tired of guys talking about their relationships, and how they have everything going for them, and where i do not.

i am just venting how i feel, somedays thats the only way i can make it through a day without exploding.

Guest 2 · Guest

Hi

Can I ask you a question??
How many girls have you actually asked out in the last year??
My point is ..
How do you know that girls don't like you if you don't give them a chance...

crashmodem · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 4:33 am Post subject:

I haven't..

The last time i asked a girl out, which was in grade 12, which is like 4 years ago, i got rejected. Ever since then, i have not asked. because i know that every other girl is going to say the same thing.

Jess333 · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 4:42 am Post subject:

People like to have fun. They like to laugh, they like to feel happy and they like to hang around people that fill them up instead of drain them.

Would you rather hang around someone who was negative and sad or with someone who was laughing and was making you laugh the hardest you've laughed in a while and that filled you up?

I'm guessing you would choose option two. If you sat around hanging around with someone who was always complaining about his life and not doing anything about it, it would probably be unattractice.

If you changed your attitude, I will bet the farm girls would start paying attention to you.

***CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE**** GIRLS WILL FOLLOW*****

***CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TO A MORE POSITIVE ONE< RAISE YOUR SELF ESTEEM****GIRLS WILL FOLLOW

the minute your self-esteem goes up, people automatically start wanting to talk to you more.

Jess333 · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 4:44 am Post subject:

Jess333 · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 4:45 am Post subject:

crashmodem · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 5:20 pm Post subject:

I have been trying to change, and i feel that i am doing a little better, You know i wouldn't have a care in the world if i knew that i was going to find that person in a couple of years or even like in a few years. Then i know it is going to happen and be prepared for it.

But i do not know if it will ever happen. I am so busy with work, and when i get home i an so exhaused that i don't feel like going out. And on my days off, i have to like do shopping, laundry, and things like that.. so i don't know.. I just don't know when i am going to have the time to meet someone.

Jess333 · Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 4:38 am Post subject:

Crash,

That's awesome. Honestly, your post was really positive, more positive than the ones I"ve seen from you here.

I think you're going in the right direction.

You changed that "I"M NOT GOING TO CHANGE!!!!" ----> to "hey i'm working on it, I'm trying"

and that is an awesome feat. and it seems so subtle, but that thinking has the power to change your life.

Keep going this way...you'll release the chains around you...and hey, maybe some girl will notice that maturity in you..that drive in you to be everything you can be and she'll see you as her own superman.

I'm not spewing lies here.

Very Happy

Orlando · Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 4:57 am Post subject:

Hey, Crashmodem.

Jess is right. You have no evidence at all that all the girls that you will meet in the future will reject you. You're making a very big assumption based on a rejection that happened 4 years ago. That's not fair for you because now you're limiting yourself because of a crappy experience. (An experience that everyone frequently has to go through. For example, I watched Oprah, yeah I know I watched Oprah, and a dating consultant was on. She said that dating was purely a numbers-game. You have to meet as many people as you can to find out what you want. Then I thought to myself, you know that means that I will meet many people who I will not feel compatiable with or I will meet many people who will feel that I will not be compatiable with me. Either way, there will be a rejection.....it's not bad for either person....it's more like saying I think we can be friends but I don't think this will work out. I would rather be friends with girls than nothing anyway.)
Anyway, that negative thinking will depress you and make you feel like crap. It takes away all sense of hope. It's not fair for you. You won't get closer to your goals (i.e., having meaningful relationships with women) because you feel like crap..And you might think that because you are crap then you will never get closer to your goals. Man, that is just a painful circle. And it sucks. But you don't have to be there if you don't want to.

Hang-in-there!

Orlando

_________________
-Orl

Jess333 · Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 5:09 am Post subject:

Crash,

You are not psychic, at least I don't think you are. You cannot tell the future, so try to stop yourself from trying to predict it. Take a look at your thought patterns, for example "All girls hate me, all girls don't like me, I already know what every girl will say to me if I ask her out". Crash I'm not lying when I say, just TRY, fake it if you have to, think it right now, say it right now --->"I don't know the future, I don't know what a girl will say to me if I ask her out" . If you change your thoughts to non condemning ones, you'll notice you INSTANTLY feel better.

For instance if you think: "No girl will ever like me for who I am, I'll never find a girl" you'll notice that in a short period of time, you'll start to feel bad, sad, HOPELESS, bereft of hope.

**this thinking is irrational and untrue, it's a lie you create to cause yourself pain.

NOW! Change that around! and ACTIVELY THINK (even if you have to force it, which is likely *i have to a lot of the time) (TRY THIS!!!!) : "I am SURE there are girls out there that would love me for who I am (THIS IS TRUE!! You're lying to yourself when you say there aren't any girls that would like you), if they got to know me and if I opened up and tried to be everything I can be, as a person, as a man"

Now at first, you won't believe yourself, but that's okay, you're so used to lying to yourself, that hearing the truth sounds like a lie. Keep it up and you'll start feeling better, because DEEP DOWN, you know it's true, even if you think it's a lie on the surface.

Think: "I will find a girl someday, I will be patient and use this time without one to work on myself, to prepare myself for a relationship" (Because being in a relationship requires a lot of devotion! You have to learn to love YOURSELF first before you try to love someone else, let me tell you!!!!! If you don't know how to love yourself, it's hard to love someone else, because you DON"T KNOW HOW TO LOVE!! Plus having a relationship requires intimacy.

know that when you chain yourself up with all of those hateful and negative thoughts, you ward off the attention of others. It gives off this scary energy and people shy away from that energy and they follow the happy positive energy where they find it.

Change positively, and you'll become a magnet. Change takes persistence, desire to be all you can be, consistence, and time.