Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 10:38 pm Post subject: shy when it comes to girls
I have recently found out that someone that I have liked for a long time is not seeeing anyone and I would like to ask her out touble is I am too
shy to approch her, she dosent know me . Im in my late twenties and never had a girlfriend and find it difficult speaking to girls. Her friend works in a shop and I was planning to go in and speak to her only am even too embarased to do that. would be grateful for any advice
Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 11:11 pm Post subject: Re: shy when it comes to girls
bandit wrote:
I have recently found out that someone that I have liked for a long time is not seeeing anyone and I would like to ask her out touble is I am too
shy to approch her, she dosent know me . Im in my late twenties and never had a girlfriend and find it difficult speaking to girls. Her friend works in a shop and I was planning to go in and speak to her only am even too embarased to do that. would be grateful for any advice
Difficult to answer this one without more details.
I feel for you mate because I've been there many times myself. The best thing I can say is to try to become friends and forget about the girlfriend thing (for now).
Guys like us shouldn't try to run before we can walk. I obsessed over girls for years without ever having any as friends. Now I have a limited number of girl friends. We are far from being close but we might go out for drinks as part of the work crowd or meet up once a month.... It's better than nothing...it's like a training process to get used to women...
The advantage of having girl friends is that they will talk to their girl friends and say stuff like "..... is a really nice guy". It's a decent starting point. Then once you get talking to their friends they will be more comfortable with you...
...unfortunately you don't want them to start thinking of you as 'a brother' so don't be too needy in front of them.
And as I've said to other people on here, make sure you are doing all the other correctly - wear decent clothes. Have a decent haircut. Keep in shape...
welcome to my life! i have another post about this ("sick and tired of not having a boyfriend")....... i would say become friends with her first. that is good advice. maybe get her email address so you can send her messages which maybe easier than talking face to face with her.
good luck to you! im goin through the same thing with guys!
Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 114 Location: Satan's stonery lair
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:01 am Post subject:
Go for it. If she rejects, go for the next best thing. With this mindset, you have over a million chances. Therefore, failure becomes less like defeat and more like, "Oh well. Shit happens"
As steviegerrard489's advice couldn't hurt anything:
Quote:
And as I've said to other people on here, make sure you are doing all the other correctly - wear decent clothes. Have a decent haircut. Keep in shape...
~ It still seems a tad shallow. If a girl is only interested in a guy for his fashion-sense and hair-cut, she's a complete tool. Superficial things like that do not make the person who they are.
I wanted to tell you that I really don't think it's a good idea to approach the friend of this girl that you like for advice. Girl's are too easily lead by their friends opinions....so you could actually end up blowing it for yourself. I mean, you should just go directly to this girl you like and ask her out, that way she can make up her own mind about whether she's interested in you....instead of following what her friends view of you is, ya know what I mean?
I think Vancouver hit it on the money. When you can train your brain not to fear the worst case scenario, you become invincible. Your worst case scenario is, things don't go well and you learn from the experience.
Remember, with every failure there is a lesson and experience. Look towards the bright future. You'll eventually get over your shyness if you keep plugging away.
Just go for it. There is no embarrassment when you love yourself. Start there and when you truly love yourself, you can meet and have anyone you wish.
here look i am a girl and i think you guy out there should just get to know the girl first then ask them out and if they reject you then it means she only likes you as a friend nothing eles
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