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TAMPA-BAY Advanced User


Joined: Jul 23, 2006 Posts: 374 Location: -Gulf of Mexico-
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: Are you Living in shame?I mean do people know about your SA? |
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Well since I have social anxiety this time of year is rough. I doesnt help either that my birthday is around valetimes and in this part of the world we have the best weather this time of the year so there are lots to do outdoors.
I have lots of family and know lots of people but they are all on the extreme side of shyness. I mean extrovers. I ve tried to meet them half way but after a while I got tired of being the one to alwayse give consesions.
I have alwayse acepted other people for who they are but they rarely if ever return the favor. They are alwayse trying to fix me in stead of just saying that i ve taken a different path.
In all fairness I understand that I have kept this disorder as a secret as if its something to be ashame of so no one knows the problem and in all fairness to them they are working blind. I mean they did not identify the problem or are not knowledgeable on anxiety disorder.
I ve thought about coming out this yr and do something like holding a press confrense LOL but who knows. It doesnt look like there is much public awareness on this. I am realy weighting the consequense of telling the world cause if i do it might stop the speculation but then again it might just bring me into the spotlight which is the last thing I need. sorry for the novel of a coment. I'll try to leave room for the others.
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recluse Elite User


Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1149 Location: Wales, UK
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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No one knows that i have s phobia, i think instead they just see me as being shy but it's worse than merely being shy; Shy people can live normal lives but this is different...It's disabling in a sense. People probably find me weird because i am a loner and because of my awkwardness around people. I wish i could tell someone like my parents that i have this problem but i fear telling anyone, because there is a stigma attached to mental illness and that's sad. I just want someone who is not social phobic to be in my shoe's just for one day so they can feel what we feel.
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EveM Newbie User


Joined: Dec 05, 2007 Posts: 63 Location: England
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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Well my family and a couple of other people only know about my blushing (hard to hide really ) but I don't know whether they've figured out it can be a symtom of social anxiety and put it together with the fact that I dodge a lot of social situations. I think they just think I'm shy. I remember when I was at school, I had a hard time going because I felt so embarrassed by the blushing and my form tutor actually asked me "are you scared of people?" and I just said no. I'm not ready to admit it to anyone, let alone her!
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shon Intermediate User


Joined: Oct 30, 2007 Posts: 171 Location: United States
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:16 am Post subject: |
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A few of my family members know. I told the ones who I knew wouldn't judge me. Except I was kind of in a "fed up" mood a couple of months ago so when my dad called, I casually mentioned that I have a social phobia. He told me I shouldn't be that way and I should just "get out there" and change it. I'm 31, I didn't just fall off the dumbass truck. If it were just a personal choice, I would not still be this way! I know people who don't have it will not ever understand.
Nobody I know has a problem saying anything to me because I'm open-minded and I accept people for who they are. Yet I have to act a certain way and not be myself around them because I know the acceptance doesn't go both ways. It's a very lonely way to be 
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M1tCh Newbie User


Joined: Jul 23, 2007 Posts: 65
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: |
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Only a few 'net friends' know what i'm going through; although, i've made a couple of futile attempts to communicate my feelings on the subject to family, but they don't really understand...I don't expect them to.
| Quote: | | Nobody I know has a problem saying anything to me because I'm open-minded and I accept people for who they are. Yet I have to act a certain way and not be myself around them because I know the acceptance doesn't go both ways. It's a very lonely way to be |
Well stated, mate.
Furthermore, I also find that people dislike me if i don't go along with their every whim and that they outright abhor any kind of dissent whatsoever.
Does anyone else have problems with others wanting to control you to an exorbitantly psychotic degree?
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maggie Elite User


Joined: Mar 19, 2005 Posts: 1173 Location: Canada
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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| recluse wrote: | | No one knows that i have s phobia, i think instead they just see me as being shy but it's worse than merely being shy; Shy people can live normal lives but this is different...It's disabling in a sense. People probably find me weird because i am a loner and because of my awkwardness around people. I wish i could tell someone like my parents that i have this problem but i fear telling anyone, because there is a stigma attached to mental illness and that's sad. I just want someone who is not social phobic to be in my shoe's just for one day so they can feel what we feel. | good post same for me...and i agree with what you say about wanting them to be in our shoes for a day..it'd be the only way they could even begin to understand 
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ljwwriter Intermediate User


Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 184
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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I've definitely felt my share of shame for being social phobic. I mean I've always seen myself as socially inept and the years have rolled by I can't help but feel shameful because of that.
I try to reassure myself that it's really nothing to be ashamed of, especially in such a fast-paced, high strung world where it seems inevitable that you'll be plagued by some kind of anxiety at some point. I've just had to accept that I'm not the right type of person for this socially-intensive society and a lot of the time I'm just going to have to be an independent soul. Not necessarily lonely, but certainly not surrounded by high strung, stressed out co-workers, family, and friends either.
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AgentR Newbie User


Joined: Jun 05, 2007 Posts: 42 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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Nobody knows that I have SA. No family nor friends know about it and if I was to tell them, they would just say "Oh don't be dramatic, you're just shy and have low confience.
_________________
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InDeepshit Newbie User


Joined: Nov 08, 2007 Posts: 83 Location: Australia
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:38 am Post subject: |
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My old friends don't know, they probably just see me as a bitch.. my family knows, but they don't know how disabling it is, and everytime i hit a low they're asking me what's wrong So i'm pretty much isolated with this except for when i'm on here.
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jchase79 Newbie User


Joined: Feb 19, 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Sedan, KS
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:00 am Post subject: |
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My family knows about my SA and Depression and are generaly supportive of me. I only have a couple friends... I have told them but I don't think they grasp the issues I struggle with every day. I've started working again but I don't feel comfortable telling my coworkers. People get that glazed over look like I'm speaking a foreign language or that I'm some sort of freak.
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