Joined: Dec 01, 2004 Posts: 132 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:28 am Post subject: how do you feel today?
I feel so low today, i just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
Ive been getting so much better, then today i just couldnt shake the feeling of people watching me ....that really self conciouse feeling.
I was walking home this morning from a school run and i just wanted to get indoors i felt so bad, then i saw my neighbour and i tried to say hi and she just looked at me like i was some kind of freak.
Im so tiered of trying to fight it...........maybe tommorow will be better.
I've had a reasonable brave patch just lately, been doing a lot..maybe too much and overdone it.
Had someone upset me yesterday, someone very ungrateful when I have done so much for them. I invited them to dinner at last minute notice because they didn't want to buy dinner at their hotel. They moaned that it was taking so long for me to cook it (there were 7 of us, that many spuds and frseh veg take time!) then the sausages were too herby and they don't like frozen sausages. They were fresh ones that I had frozen and I didn't just happen to have fresh stuff in because I didn't know they were coming for dinner until an hour before. Theyalso said don't know how you can live here and rude comments about my home. I held it all in but ten it overflowed. I burst in to tears and told them how they made me feel. I wasn't rude and I didn't shout but they then told others how nasty I was to them.
I'm a twin and the same person is always comparing me to my sis which makes me uncomfortable. Comments like are you taller, larger than 'x'. have you put on weight? When I haven't. It really screws with my head.
I've come to the conclusion that some people hate me because I'm slim and pretty and got nice house and car.
I know in the grand scheme of things its little stuff but it makes me feel horrible for a lot longer than the actual event and reinforces my feelings of not socialising being the right choice.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Dreaded person gone home 300 miles away now.
Hopefully your tomorrow will be better too. I really understand what you mean by the looks.
I woke up this morning feeling, surprisingly, relly great with a smile on my face. And then I get into town, not doing much, just going to the local job centre, but I just develope this feeling of emptiness/"nothingness".
I think it's due mainly to that fact thatI have just had to leave a job I really enjoyed (it was only as tempoary contract). And now, I'm back to square one, with no job (which my folks are gonna' hate!), and not knowing what the future holds.
I mean, I've felt a hell of alot worse in the past than what I feel today, but...there's just something there, clouding me. That feling of impending doom. Looking into the future and seeing only "black".
Joined: Oct 17, 2007 Posts: 411 Location: 'Rooooound heeeere,
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:27 am Post subject:
Times-Ticking wrote:
I wish I had the Guts to hang myself but I don't so I just stay in a never ending cycle of going to bed at night hoping I don't wake up but it never happens.
i wish i had the guts to hang myself. doubt i would actually do it, but i figure if i had guts of any kind i'd do something crazy with it. like be the person i really am inside or something else bizarre and otherworldly!
Joined: Jan 03, 2005 Posts: 646 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:50 pm Post subject:
Not great.
This afternoon my nerves feel as if they've been torn to shreds. It's hard to explain, but everyday noises have been really going through me, and making me totally on edge.
Joined: Dec 01, 2004 Posts: 132 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:01 am Post subject:
Ive had days like that too i totally know were your coming from!
its so hard but keep going everyday is different.
" if your going through hell-keep going" winston churchill
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