My first setback and I wasnt 100% in the first place

marT

well I just had my first "set back" which is really pissing me off because I wasn't fully better in the first place.

I was meditating and all was going well and then suddenly it was like "wham!" i felt like i was sort of detached from my body and the blood drained from my face, i though to myself "its ok, its just an attack, focus on the breathing and it will go away". I tried to do this but found my heart beat getting faster and my eye lids flickering and i had to open my eyes, this seemed to help but i was still feeling pretty dazed. I noticed after that, that I could induce the same kind of feelings just by remembering them which is pretty scary.

In the morning i was trembling pretty bad and felt so nausious and I'm so pissed off because it seems like I've gone back to square one again and I have to start all over again. Whats more annoying is im sort of scared to meditate now because of having another attack and its meant to be my bloody treatment!!

I have to start TAFE again next week and I was so hoping i would be better by then, now it looks like i'm almost worse, oh god i bloody hate this condition!!

Chilling_Echo · Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 2:48 am Post subject:

What's TAFE? and elaborate on the meditation, how long have you been meditating?

Guest · Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:47 am Post subject:

TAFE is kind of like college in the united states, but for people who dont want to/didnt get good enough grades to go to university.

I've been meditating for about 3 weeks or so, every morning and night although after this experience i havent been very relaxed in doing it and have lessened my session times.

Its mindfulness meditation in which you focus on your breath or a word and when your thoughts wonder, come back to the breath or word. Its supposed to teach you how your thoughts create the anxiety (which i am aware of) and how to control them in waking life.

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

Hi Mart,
yes l aslo have had a few set backs, lm trying so hard to roll with them, l have days where l think of killing my self,but its not really me (which l find scary as its the last thing l wont to happen).. the other day l was driving and nearly had to pull over , it was like my brian had a sort circut, and l didnt no what l was going to do, l m 'dont trust my self...
But lm still on my medician everyday,actully l told the doctor lm so exhusted all day, what can l do? "He said to have my med's at night time"...this l found l brought on my attacks, so l returned to mornings.
l also found out for the 1st couple of weeks your on antie depressents, they set of a chemcial to make you feel suicide.. l wish they told me that when they stuck me on anti-dpr ten yrs ago..just before l decided to jump off the cliff where people go hang gliding(yes l some how made it)..
The doctors also told me that it takes up to 6 months before any sign of full recovery.. l t's been 3 months now for me, 1 step forward 2 back. lol
You probley wouldnt beleave this illness if your never had it!
heads up Mart, will get there!

marT · Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:10 am Post subject:

yeah it sucks so bad, i wake up every morning in a high state of anxiety, wondering how bad im going to be today and the rest of the day is spent dwelling on how im feeling.

I also go through a lot of mood swings, a lot of the time i feel very very depressed not knowing if I will ever feel the same again.

I've also got to start TAFE as i said on monday which doesnt help, its just another thing to worry about.

I also find it hard to eat a lot of the time, i sort of have to force myself, its bad because its making me loose a fair bit of weight and I'm already pretty skinny.

Anyone else had these experiences, i'd like to hear them.

marT · Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:55 am Post subject:

I'm also taking St John Wort and have been for around 3 or 4 weeks now, is it possible that this is causing my tiredness and somewhat fuzzyness in the head?

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

Guest · Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 12:07 am Post subject:

I started TAFE on Monday and its all gone pretty well.

I do get high anxiety before going and for some time while I am there, i even had a couple of panic attacks but I managed to get over them in a minute or two. Once I get over it I actually find I feel better at tafe than I do at home, because I dont tend to dwell on how I'm feeling.

Hopefully in a few weeks I'll start to make some more progress.

marT · Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 12:08 am Post subject:

Sorry, that was me above ^^^^