Anything goes if you think "what the hell is there to l

of_darkness

I've been talking to friends on msn, just typing random inappropriate words put appropriately my me, and they're not reacting much. Making me feel even more insane. Isnt that odd? surely if someone typed loads of shot sentences describing their life and annoyances, you'd be annoyed? or at least say "lol" or something.... or say 'stop talking' or 'why are you typing so much' or 'calm down'. I'm not being too stupid, just a reasonable amount of typing. They're just being normal about it....

So thats when I think what is there to lose?! Last year of school, i can almost count the number of teaching weeks left on one hand. I actually can't but noone will care.

I've told myself this a few times... oh I just realised literally now!! I'm going to remember that all day, and talk. all the time. Fuck everyone, they might care but I don't!!!

Im scared of making myself look stupid but It must be better than being the recluse that I am. Can we all do this? theres NOTHING TO LOSE, because before I realise I'l be out of school

what could I possibly regret about looking stupid in front of my whole school of 1500 boys?! I know i'll regret not having done that. I really will, I'll think "oh shit why didnt i just go insane and talk to people i couldnt care less about?

ok, from now on, maybe the rest of you should.... I'm going to just.... ignore opinions. (even when i'm trying to talk well, that whole opinion image thing is deep in there holding me back!)

I'll be back tomorrow to report on my actions, I'm sure something will happen. even if everyone still ignores me, I'll be free of regret, totally free... (etc. etc. then I return having not done that and feeling as low as ever, then end...)

bye.....