UGH! Today was kind of a bad day for me. I don't even want to post this but I am making myself. Its part of my "just be me" idea to end the redness. I was at work and my co-workers were chatting and laughing and talking to one another. The atmosphere was different today, maybe because it was Friday. But everyone was more relaxed which usually makes me more uptight. At some point they were all talking to one co-worker who is going on a date tonight and I basically began having a panic attack. I started getting red. Then, I started feeling like I had to Get Out Of There. I contemplated telling my boss I was sick! I just wanted to Not Be There! Instead, I went to the bathroom. Tried to breath and calm down. I knew I needed to get back so I went back to my desk and got more red. No one was even around me and I just kept getting red! Then, another co-worker came by to answer a question I'd asked him about earlier. He stood by my desk while I was on the phone, waiting for me to hang up. As I spoke on the phone, I turned even more red! I wanted to disappear! I tried to busy myself when I hung up so I didn't have to look at him. I didn't want him to see I was having a problem. And I was definitely having a problem. I feel like such an ass! UGH!!!
Not so often anymore though as I avoid most all situations where I think it may happen.
When I was in my teens I even went so far as to put on skin colored make-up on my cheeks to try to keep my face from showing red. That realy made me feel even worse as I was always worried someone would notice I had make-up on. (I am a dude by the way)
UNREAL...when i read these Forums its just like reading about myself..We are all in different parts of the world but whats happing to you has already happened to me a thousand times..as Snow knows im 61 years old so been through it and still going through it...But as you get older you will learn little tricks to avoid certain events..my whole life has been based on how to get through the day and the next meeting,breakfast,dinner,supper,visit from someone,shopping,,the list goes on and on...but i keep fighting..God bless you all
Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject: Re: blushing and sexuality
erdie wrote:
tucker25 wrote:
hi
i used to have this problem,ir really cripled me socially.like most forms of sp it is based on a fear of being percieved negatively by another.for some reason in ur head u may thinh u are sexually inferior.with me it was late physical development and also i was shy around girls and was afraid people would think iwas gay.u should work on ur inner thoughts-challenge them-u have nothing to be embarrased about in ur sexuality-alss dont hide ur blushing like i did it feeds the fear and makes it worse.contact me for more advice if u want
Tucker25 I have to agree with you, I am 40 now but when I was younger I coudn't talk to girls and all my mates were getting girlfriends and I wasn't and I think people thought I was gay, which I found embarrasing.
But for some reason it has got even worse lately though, I work with a gay bloke and someone at work said something about the 2 of us being an item and I went bright, bright red. I told my wife and daughter about this when I got home from work and went red again, now I think that I have somehow got this into my mind about going red over this subject that if someone mentions gays around me or on the tv I go red as I think my wife is looking at me accusingly. I have not got anything against gay people but I have never had any gay feelings so I don't know why this is happening.
Hi, You have my sympathy. I was bullied when I was younger - my first job people said I was gay, I just lacked confidence. Ever since then I have gone red at mention of the subject and it is ruining my life. Im now 33. I have a wonderful daughter from a previous relationship and am on great terms with her mother. I have a new girlfriend too, but other parts of my life are a misery. People at my current work think Im gay because I go red and its getting worse. The worse thing is I get anxious and stressed and find it hard to talk properly too. It got to a point where no-one could speak to me at work without me blushing but I've got a little better over the last two weeks. I'm so frustrated with it. I've started worrying about the future, if things will get worse.
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