Not good enough?

Broken_Memory · Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:59 am Post subject:

I've always wanted to work with animals, but I definitely feel like ... well, like my social phobia would hold me back so much. Even with starting out, like just volunteering/co-op/part-time, I feel like I'd just be too afraid to take any initiative, for anything. Right now I work part time (I'm still in high school because I've been stalling - university/college wise) at a vet clinic as a dog walker, but I'm much too shy to be around any of the people that work there. Its been over a year and a half, too.

About not feeling good enough, yeah, I compare myself to the people who have gone through the schooling and are successful and I think "I could never be like them, they're so social and confident".

nandito · Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:40 pm Post subject:

I started to think about that at the end of my bachelor. I'm always being a guy with too much worries. I always thought I won't get a PhD offer in sciences (you get scholarships when you are accepted in most institutions around the world).

But I did succeed getting an offer, now, finishing my PhD I started to have same feelings about staying in academia. But this time they are more realistic. I know I can get a research assistantship, but the problems is getting an stable job, cause you need to be a top scientist to get one, and I'm clearly not.

I guess my case is too much worries not that much about social anxiety, but once I start to thinking too much about it, I start to talk less with people, hiding myself from shame, etc.

Te truth is, people do not care (except family, and close friends) about what we do. We have to do things for us, even if they seem complicated at times. In the past few years I've forced myself to organize better my time so I can study, work, cook, read, have fun, etc.

Try to see your life since a 3rd person reference, you'll find out that there are worries that are ok and realistic, but a lot of others don't. Write down them in a paper, and the arguments why they are real or not. So next time you get those ideas again, you know which are realistic ones, and which are just exaggerations.

Cheers.

Primrose · Newbie User Joined: Sep 14, 2007 Posts: 57

Thankfully I haven't. That's the one aspect of my life I have complete confidence in. Seems to be a common thing amongst SP sufferers... and probably explains why I lot of successful people have many demons and problems relating to others in the real world.

Meow · Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 4:52 pm Post subject:

I can barely hold a job down as it is. I'd like to get into forensics or be a vet, but that's never going to happen.

I think I am more than capable of it, it's just the anxiety and problems with dealing with people every day.

sidney · Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject:

i want to be a consultant possibly in neurology, yeh it will involve a lot of social interaction but i want to help people and with my SA i think id be very sympathetic and nice towards people and im sure as hell at least going to give it a go! Very Happy

Tryin · Advanced User Joined: Sep 04, 2006 Posts: 411

I already posted on this, but here I am months later with the experience of a few jobs behind me and want to share again.

I work at a homeless shelter and as a therapist/playmate of an autistic child (volunteering) and I also have a paid job at a fastfood.

I feel totally unsuficient.
For the past few days I am obsessing about me going to get kicked out of the autism therapy program. That's not going to happen. People that I do it for are of a very sweet and loving kind (at least they are trying to be??) and they are not kicking me out by any chance. I think. Well, at least they say so Smile

I was oh-so-surprised when they hired me at the fastfood. I am also oh-so-surprised every time when I go there and do my work and realize that they actually are satisfied with my work and that they are actually paying me for it.
I think that I do a good job with my little autist. I love the kid. But I am avoidant (much more that I am in other situations) with his parents and other volunteers and I've gotten panic attacs (that I didn't manage to control) every time I tried to talk with them about my problems (I wanted to make it clear that I am not having any problems, that I am not unhappy or crazy or anything but that I am a normalmensch with some anxiety and deralization going on... but I somehow always end up mute, blushing and in tears). Big deal.
As for the homeless shelter... it's always the same. I AM useful, people DO behave nicely to me, but I am still pushed into the old role of a little helpless "cute" weak girl.

I feel I am not good enough. It's all in my head, and that's the big deal.
Wish I were able to make people treat me with more respect, though... More that my self-deprecation I am troubled by people trying to save me... adjusting their behaviour so as to not "hurt" me... labelling me with "fragile - do not touch" or "a kid - be a christian and treat her nicely" or even "strange - beware".

People at work, in school, everywhere always call me Susie.
I hate that.
So am I off-topic?

Shutting up.

Love to everyone reading this site. Fucking lots of love. We all need it.

S.

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LonelyGirl · Newbie User Joined: Sep 27, 2007 Posts: 51 Location: UK

My dream is to become a keyboard teacher. I've wanted to do it since I was fourteen. I'd like to work in a music school where I can teach small groups as well as individuals. I know it doesn't sound like the best career for someone with social anxiety, but I can't imagine doing anything else. When I was younger I felt under pressure to decide what career I wanted. It seemed like everybody else already knew. I thought about being a vet or a graphic designer, but I didn't really want that. It suddenly hit me one day when I wasn't really thinking about anything that I wanted to be a keyboard teacher. It felt so right that I never thought I wouldn't be good enough. It's the one thing I truly believe will work out. Even if I never accomplish anything else I feel like I will always be able to do that job.

Kien · Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:25 pm Post subject:

Who did ever thought he would be good enough for any job?

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I wish we could see into the future of peoples lives when they are born. Then we could kill all babies who's going to be bad people. Robbers, bullying kids, murderers etc. Just put a gun at the baby's head.