Why do we fear of people? give me Your reason of fear

friend807 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 09, 2007 Posts: 23

for me
realy there is no rational reason.

Caseums21 · Intermediate User Joined: Jan 06, 2008 Posts: 115

My ex boyfriend used to hit me and put me in the hospital once. So I basically don't trust many guys. I'm not too nervous when hanging out with females but when I hang out with males, I get so nervous and defensive.

SilentType · Expert User Joined: Jul 04, 2007 Posts: 650

I don't fear people but when there's a group I get all sweaty and nervous and for no reason there is no rational reason for me to act like this. I'm not thinking about anything, except what everyone else is thinking of me. There's nothing I can do about it. My heart palpitates and my mind races right along with it. I can't have a normal conversation when there's a group of more than like 4 people because I can't really muster out more than a mumbled version of what I meant to say. It's fucked up and nothing I have found works better than the one they call Mary Jane at easin the stress. It allows my mind to tale on new perspectives and just look at things in another light if you use it correctly. Again I'm not afraid of people, its just more reasonable for me at this point to avoid large social groups altogether. I may be crazy but I will be happy when the day comes. I will be camping out in california without a care in the fucking world. It's gonna be quite rad, indeed.

Peace

Kien · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:14 pm Post subject:

I fear big self confident people. I ofte feel that I want to shoot them with an automatic grenade launcher.

_________________
Stop making kids.
Compulsory sterilization is good.
More security. Less freedom.
The word "cowardly" is often used as another word for effectivly.

miss_amy · Intermediate User Joined: Nov 21, 2007 Posts: 285

I feel I do have rational reasons for my fear of people. So many people have let me down, or started off nice the turned nasty on me. Even people who appear nice can turn and in my life quite a few have.

My main cause of this is my parents. My dad abused me. He was extremely controlling, called me names and this continued until my early 20's. Picked and commented about every aspect of my appearance. By my teens I have severe eating disorders and the anxieties started. I think my eating disorders were anxiety related too, unable to eat in front of people. I then 'escaped' by marrying someone who was equally as controlling and abusive. He treated me badly and broke several bones before he left me for a right tart. He walked out on me and our 2 kids the smallest was under a year old.

There have been jobs where people have been nasty to me. Bullied me, actually physically attacked me, stabbing my hand with a pencil. the only reason I can think of for them disliking me is that I came in above them on a higher wage. Or Ijust have easy target on my head or something.

Theres too much to list details here but theres loads of people....old inlaws told lies to try and take my kids, friend who have stolen from me, woman spat at me in street because she wanted my man. Bullied at work by people who I started off being friends with. Some people hate me just because I appear to be doing OK, got nice house, cars and business..I still must look ok too, at 33 I'm still getting the odd modelling job.

I seriously trust no one outside my immediate family, mum and sister. I can't see that ever changing but I would like to get rid of the scared feeling and the dread. I can happily live with people at a reasonable distance.

Foxglove · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:47 am Post subject:

For me, the major reason for fearing people is that I have a huge inferiority complex. I feel like I am worthless and incompetent, and if I expose myself, so to speak, to other people, they will be able to scent that out like a wolf scents out prey, and they will attack me with scorn, disdain and ridicule. And I have had enough bad experiences with people to know that most of them are sneaky, arrogant, petty and obnoxious, so I'm not missing much when I choose to stay away from them.

Argamemnon · Expert User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 736

I always think about what others might be thinking about me (which is extremely negative in my mind)..

Constantly.. I really can't stop this; the harder I try the worse my anxiety gets... Sad

I've been feeling very depressed and totally exhausted lately, and have to go to a wedding today with my parents! I'm going to take valerian root capsules. They help a little.

@Foxglove

Perfect post; I feel exactly like you. You describe things flawlessly and your English is perfect (I assume you're a native English speaker)

Day_Tripper · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 02, 2007 Posts: 261

I don't fear people, but I try to avoid people who aren't close friends because I know that I won't have anything to say unless I plan it out in my mind first. I think I would have tons of friends if I could pause life when I wanted to so I could have time to think.

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Zarrix · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject:

Social Phobics are afraid of being judged negatively. So if they don't know the person that well, or there is a potential to "stuff up" and a consequence for doing so, then we get anxious.

In turn we think they notice our anxiety, which is in effect a "stuff up" and the vicious circle begins anew.

LonelyGirl · Newbie User Joined: Sep 27, 2007 Posts: 51 Location: UK

I don't really have a rational reason for being afraid of people. I was bullied a lot when I was younger, but I was bullied because I was quiet, I wasn't quiet because I was bullied. It didn't exactly help my confidence and self esteem, but as I was scared of people anyway I can't think of my fear as rational.