Joined: Dec 22, 2007 Posts: 749 Location: California
Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 7:07 pm Post subject:
I fear that people will hate me, think I'm stupid, or ugly.
I fear that people will not like what I like.
I fear of talking because I think I cannot speak correctly.
And I fear seeing people I know in an unfamiliar place.
It's easier for me to talk to strangers than people who I know.
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 436 Location: 20-f-u.s.
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 7:44 am Post subject:
Exactly what Psychedelicious said. ^^
But there is another reason. And im embarrissed to say it. But im really afraid of getting into a physical fight or even a verbal fight. It just scares the crap out of me. Ive never been in a fight before but ive always been afraid of it happening. So thats why im ALWAYS really nice to people and thats why I dont express my true feelings. I dont want to make anyone mad and make them want to kick the crap out of me!
There was this one time in 6th grade when my "used to be friend" came right up to my face and said , if i hear you talking crap about me again im gonna kick your ass!!, and she was a big girl so i was effing scared! And I never even said anything mean about her.
Thats one of the reasons why I avoid people. Because I can never stick up for myself cause im too afraid of how they will react.
I'm scared of that feeling you get when people laugh at you. When you're in a group of people and you become the butt of their jokes.
I'm scared that all of my worst characteristics....the things that are so ugly and detestable about me and that I hate and try to change every day.....I fear these things will spill out and everybody will see how revolting or horrible I really am and they will hate me and reject me and I will feel guilty and confused.
i fear that people will pick on something that i do and make fun of me for it. sometimes i speak too softly and i have a low voice. i've noticed that i can't really think and speak at the same time, if that makes sense, because i'm always nervous when speaking to people i don't know.
also, when people around me laugh quietly and i didn't hear why, i'll always think they're laughing at me. its kinda ridiculous, but for some reason, thats what i think.
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1328 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:25 am Post subject:
I fear people becasue -
I never know what to talk about
I'm afraid they are judging my looks negatively
I'm afraid my voice sounds strange
I'm afraid i appear foolish
I'm afraid i appear boring
The list goes on.............................................
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1328 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:27 am Post subject:
SleepingBeauty wrote:
Exactly what Psychedelicious said. ^^
But there is another reason. And im embarrissed to say it. But im really afraid of getting into a physical fight or even a verbal fight. It just scares the crap out of me. Ive never been in a fight before but ive always been afraid of it happening. So thats why im ALWAYS really nice to people and thats why I dont express my true feelings. I dont want to make anyone mad and make them want to kick the crap out of me!
There was this one time in 6th grade when my "used to be friend" came right up to my face and said , if i hear you talking crap about me again im gonna kick your ass!!, and she was a big girl so i was effing scared! And I never even said anything mean about her.
Thats one of the reasons why I avoid people. Because I can never stick up for myself cause im too afraid of how they will react.
I also get the same fear, that's why i lack assertion. I tend to let people walk over me too much.
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1328 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:30 am Post subject:
Psychedelicious wrote:
I fear that people will hate me, think I'm stupid, or ugly.
I fear that people will not like what I like.
I fear of talking because I think I cannot speak correctly.
And I fear seeing people I know in an unfamiliar place.
It's easier for me to talk to strangers than people who I know.
What do you mean by not being able to speak correctly? I also am conscious of the way i speak.
I also relate to all your other stuff. I prefer to be in a strange place full of strangers because there's no one i know to see me if i look o'r do something strange.
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1328 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:33 am Post subject:
miss_amy wrote:
I feel I do have rational reasons for my fear of people. So many people have let me down, or started off nice the turned nasty on me. Even people who appear nice can turn and in my life quite a few have.
My main cause of this is my parents. My dad abused me. He was extremely controlling, called me names and this continued until my early 20's. Picked and commented about every aspect of my appearance. By my teens I have severe eating disorders and the anxieties started. I think my eating disorders were anxiety related too, unable to eat in front of people. I then 'escaped' by marrying someone who was equally as controlling and abusive. He treated me badly and broke several bones before he left me for a right tart. He walked out on me and our 2 kids the smallest was under a year old.
There have been jobs where people have been nasty to me. Bullied me, actually physically attacked me, stabbing my hand with a pencil. the only reason I can think of for them disliking me is that I came in above them on a higher wage. Or Ijust have easy target on my head or something.
Theres too much to list details here but theres loads of people....old inlaws told lies to try and take my kids, friend who have stolen from me, woman spat at me in street because she wanted my man. Bullied at work by people who I started off being friends with. Some people hate me just because I appear to be doing OK, got nice house, cars and business..I still must look ok too, at 33 I'm still getting the odd modelling job.
I seriously trust no one outside my immediate family, mum and sister. I can't see that ever changing but I would like to get rid of the scared feeling and the dread. I can happily live with people at a reasonable distance.
Do you think it as linked in with the social anxiety stuff? I think mine was. I spent some time in a unit for eating disorders and quite a few there were anxiety related rather than trying to lose weight. I wasn't trying to be thin, just too nervous to eat.
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