Did your parents teach you to stand up for yourself?
yes
21%
[ 10 ]
no
67%
[ 31 ]
maybe / can't remember
10%
[ 5 ]
Total Votes : 46
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antibully Newbie User
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 9
Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:54 am Post subject:
Good question! My Mom taught me, if someone hits you hit them back even harder than they hit you. Back then they didn't suspend you for defending yourself.
I was raised by a neurotic, overprotective mom and a detached father who was plagued with alcoholism and bullying as well growing up. Neither ever taught me to stand up for myself.
my parents were mostly oblivious, and when i told them about being bullied and things, they trivialized them, and said it was my fault.
but then they also kept and continue to reinforce how useless and how much of a failure i am, but thats another story.
to be honest i still believe that it was my fault... (bullying in school) i just dont believe it was exclusively my fault..
i did stand up for myself for a while. it was my first course of action as a young child... i tried ignoring for a while... i tried telling... none of these things fixed my problems
i figured my way to fix the problems of being bullied was alot more calculated than just being reactionary. planning was paramount.. whether it was tricking them into trying to go too far in a place with witnesses, tricking them into bullying someone else who'se words mattered more to teachers, or planning a way to stand up to them that would have a long standing effect...
all in all , its made me a bit scary at times.. i find if you go for revenge, rather than just standing up for yourself its more successful because for everytime, you hit back, they hit you again. and if you hit harder than they can, they get assistance.
Joined: Apr 23, 2005 Posts: 918 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject:
Its horrible to read so many posts of people having shiity times with there parents But like other people of said... my parents not on purpose but nether the less.. took every last gram of self respect and self esteem i had... and kinda like how you said joeljj... reinforced the belief that everything was my fault and i was useless and a failure.I really didnt think i deserved an opinion on how i was treated.
The only thing my dad did do was encourage me to use violence and glorify it because to him that was a sign of how manly you was i think...and he was a bully and thats how he manipulated people through fear and intimidation.I remember coming home once and i had been giving a kicking,and he sent me back out to fight till id won The only time he told me he was proud of me was when i got sent home from school or suspended for fighting.And the times i would come home with stiches in my lip or a broke hand he would look at me with disgust for not winning i think.
Joined: Oct 22, 2007 Posts: 221 Location: England, Devon
Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:18 am Post subject:
My parents are nice and everything but i don't think they've actually taught me anything, i don't think i've ever really opened up or whatever to them, they seem fairly critical about everything i do. The thing that really bugs me is when i do do something good, they act so damn suprised i mean do thay actually have any faith in me?! i just want some freaking support for once
_________________ Isn't it cool when you cut your hand and the blood is red instead of sellout green
Well, I can remember my parents calling me such lovely names as "chickenshit" and "milque toast" and "spineless" when I didn't stand up for myself. Once, a girl spit at me, and when I told my mother (I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time) she told me to go out and slap her face. I didn't want to, so my mother said she would slap my face if I didn't do it. A person needs self confidence and self esteem in order to stand up for themselves, and my parents did everything to rob me of those two things.
Your parents are cool. I would do anything to not be called like that.
My dad taught me the reverse. Did you know that not standing up for yourself has a huge affect on gene expression? You could have looked different, or been a different height, had a different personality, all based on these events.
Could you please explain how can this behavior affect gene expression?
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But like other people of said... my parents not on purpose but nether the less.. took every last gram of self respect and self esteem i had... and kinda like how you said joeljj... reinforced the belief that everything was my fault and i was useless and a failure.I really didnt think i deserved an opinion on how i was treated.
