New here...for my son

xansmom · Newbie User Joined: Mar 25, 2008 Posts: 4

I am new here and I am looking for more information for me. My son is 8 going on 9 soon. He has had extreme social anxiety since I can pretty much remember. It really wasn't noticable until he started school..for years, all I heard from his teachers was "how shy" he was, this past week I had a chance to sit down with all of his teachers, special education (he had a small speech problem when he was younger) and the school shrink, now that he's in middle school, it seems they are taking it more seriously, and he either has a severe social anxiety problem or some form of selective muteness.
We are working with his doctor, who is finally taking it seriously, we started him on a very low dose of Prozac and I have him scheduled to see someone for counseling at the end of next month(it's the soonest I can get him in)
I guess I'm looking for people who are going through the same things, been through it or just have advice.

Thanks for reading all my rambling!

Danfalc · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:21 am Post subject:

Hi, theres loads of good posts on here about all sorts of subjects to do with social anxiety shyness... ect so if you have a root through the forums im sure you will find some topics which will help.Also post if you have any questions most people are more than happy to help if they can.ANd welcome to the forum Smile

Im really sorry your son is going through this Sad

But the brilliant thing is they have caught it early and are taking it seriously... which they should do because its a hard illness to live with and left unchecked and untreated into adulthood it can get worse.But yeah if they are dealing with it now while hes young... they might be able to nip it into the bud so to speak before it gets more complicated. Smile

I dont want to tell you what to do or what not to do concerning your son because i have no place to,but if you can id maybe try and keep him off medication and see how therapy goes on its own first,but i can appreciate if its affecting him badly meds might be a necasary thing.theres also c.b.t therapy which while not works for everyone has a very high succsess rate so its worth asking about that.Anyway again welcome to the forum and i hope things work out for your soon.

xansmom · Newbie User Joined: Mar 25, 2008 Posts: 4

I appreciate any advice at all, I will not take offense, we have been dealing with this for so long, that honestly I had really no other options left. We tried everything else, other than the counseling, although they have been working with him in the school, but there is only so much they can do too. His doctor was completely against it yet, until he got the information from our school, ourselves and to see him again in person. We don't expect to have him on the Prozac for long term, some of the studies that I have read and people I have talked to, depending on how far into it he is, there is a chance that in a matter of speaking, to reteach himself, perhaps I'm wrong here but atleast now I have some hope.

The other thing that I'm sure does not help is the fact that my son is no normal 8 year old, he was very small at birth, but ever since has been growing at an extremely rapid rate, he is 5'2" and about 130lbs, almost the same size as me, so while I do think that some kids may pick on him for it, a lot of them actually look to him as a protector, from what I understand most of the kids at school really like him.

Our doctor did suggest that when we called about therapy that it be with someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy in children.
It's so hard to see that he wants to be with the other kids, playing, but for whatever reason, now I know the anxiety, he has never been able to.

My husband had pretty given up last year, after an incident involving a sport my son wanted to play. They spent very little time together, but now that we are getting somewhere on why he is the way he is, my hubby is being much more supportive and trying to make extra time for him during the spring break, it breaks my heart that it took getting to this point, but I'm glad to have this help.

Caseums21 · Intermediate User Joined: Jan 06, 2008 Posts: 115

I'm sorry to hear about your son. I'm 23 and I have SA and I don't know if it's from him hanging out with me or what but my 9 year old god-son is starting to be the same way.

Neither of us are on medications and I refuse to. I'm not saying it's a bad thing but personally I just don't trust them. His dad and I signed him up for therapy. He kinda sounds like your son. For being shy, wants to hang out with kids but can't, etc. He used to skateboard all the time with friends but up till about 6 months ago, he just stays in his room and doesn't talk to anyone.

Whatever you do, you or your husband can't give up. If you two give up, so will your son. It's a mental thing and it takes time and patience. I know it's hard to figure out what to do and to hope that he will get over the social anxiety. At least you did things that some parents won't do. You went to the teachers, went to doctors, and now on this forum. I really wish I knew what to tell you but there's no one way to "cure" this. Keep doing what you are doing.

Like what Danfalc said, message any questions and we will try to help. Sorry that I couldn't be much use.

theloneliest · Newbie User Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 6

I was just as shy as a kid, and nothing can be done. I now talk to no one and I think I am going crazy. I am too shy to talk to a therapist, no matter how much they force me to. I just joke around with people all day, but no type of personal questions, I will get out of answering them.