Do you believe your parents helped develop social anxiety?

lil_ladii85 · Newbie User Joined: Mar 21, 2008 Posts: 28

I remember when i was growing up i was rarely allowed to go places. My friends would invite to sleepovers, the mall, or just to hang out and my mom would always tell me no. Im not blaming my mom for my social anxiety but i think her secluding me from the outside world growing up had a huge impact on it.

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dottie · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 06, 2007 Posts: 277

i was totally overprotected/sheltered. it's like i was conditioned to fear people from an early age just so my parents would feel safer.

DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS, STRANGERS ARE BAAAAAD. if they touch you BITE THEM AND RUN. i took things very seriously as a kid (and still to this day) so i'm not sure if i can entirely blame them but their fear-instilling parenting techniques did not help.

+ too much america's most wanted & unsolved mysteries.

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miss_amy · Intermediate User Joined: Nov 21, 2007 Posts: 210

Without a doubt it came from my parents. My dad was a control freak, I was abused and controlled. My mother was mentally ill and did nothing to stop it and spent most of her time cutting her wrists, being drunk or in mental institutions. To the outside world my dad looked like a perfect parent. He sent us to music lessons, we were outwardly dressed well, he beat us to do well at school and made us scared to speak out. (Us=me and my twin sis). He used to touch us and watch us in the bath making comments. He made us watch stuff kids shouldn't watch. He punched me and knocked me off a chair. There was always stuff being smashed up. He called us sexual names if we dressed up to go out.
I left home as soon as I got the chance and unfortuately it was in with someone who was almost as bad. The abuse from my dad did not stop after I left either even though I was an adult. It stopped when I moved 300 miles away. Then there were things about my cousin that made me think he'd started on her. It's so hard to speak out because it was so all behind closed doors that I'm certain that no one would believe me. Feel really guilty about the whole thing. I'm sure he must be still doing it to someone. I haven't seen him for a long time.

Was a really awful time.

piper23 · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:38 pm Post subject:

I think my parents had something to do with it. Partially because my mom was shy anyway; also because she is completely PARANOID!! The fact that I could not do anything I think hindered me from just enjoying life. Now I am a lil paranoid about things I just wish I didn't care about.

But it's not all her fault; there were other things too that I experienced that she had no control over, and they influenced my personality to a large extent. I am just screwed up. Crying or Very sad

Miss_Amy I am so so sorry to hear about your story. I just want to give you a big hug and console you. I hope you find support on this forum.

coriander1992 · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject:

My parents divorce, I beleive, had something to do with it.

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~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~

IceLad · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:43 pm Post subject:

In a word...YES!

I think a fair few things caused my SP, but my parents divorcing and my mum definitely played key parts in causing it. Looking at the way she thinks and acts today, I can totally understand how I came to develop SP.

Psychedelicious · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:55 pm Post subject:

yes, but mainly to do with my genetics. I can't really think of anything they could have done that really made me develop it though.

IcarusUnderWater · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 24, 2007 Posts: 273

Caseums21 · Intermediate User Joined: Jan 06, 2008 Posts: 115

My parents were the opposite. My mom didn't care what my brother or I did. We never had a curfew. My dad was always working but he would try to gt my brother and I to have a curfew and things like that. My mom would let us skip school, not do chores, and even on school nights I could stay up as late as I wanted.

I should say that my mom was kinda an alcoholic back then. My brother and I would have to wake ourselves up for school and she would be too drunk on the couch to notice. As for having friends over, we always had friends over.

I think her not caring didn't help my situation. I wish I had a mom that cared. Like I said, my dad cared but he was never home. My mom moved out while my brother, dad, and I were sleeping. We woke up and all her stuff was gone. Being a female, that hit me hard because I was the only female and didn't have anyone to talk to. We didn't know where she moved to until about a week after she left.

I rarely talk to her now and she moved in 2002. But when I do talk to her, she just tells me how lazy I am and how I should have my own place now (I'm 23). My brother kinda gets along with her but lately he hasn't talked to her. She can pretty much careless about me. She really favors my brother over me. I'm not just saying that, she told me.

She would never have my brother or I sit down for homework. Since she didn't care, my brother and I basically stopped caring everything about school. I wish she cared because I could have made good grades.

When my brother graduated from high school, he didn't want to go to his graduation but she made him and she went. When I said I didn't want to go, she just said ok and that she didn't want to go anyways.

Her moving out the way she did, hit me hard. I felt alone especially after my Uncle who died about 4 months prior died. I was real close to him and I was supposed to move in with him about 2 months after he died. She having those two things happen so close together, just put me in a shelter stage.

If she didn't move out, I would have been long gone. Having a strict family shows that they care for you. Having a mom like mine, makes you wish you had a strict family.

livingnsilence · Newbie User Joined: Feb 01, 2008 Posts: 75

The only way my parents helped contribute to my SA is genetically and only my dad did that. My mom never sheltered me, yeah we had some rules, but they were very basic and not that strict, she always had me participate in a few activites/sports a year and once she started to see me getting shy she'd try to force me to get out more, eventually she gave up b/c it didn't really work though.