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Social Phobia World :: View topic - I feel ugly
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I feel ugly
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recluse
Elite User
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 1017
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

solent wrote:
What do other people think of you and your looks? I'm sure there have been girls who have taken a shine to you, so they must find something attractive to look at.

And, in any case, bear in mind that most people caremore about the person inside than the packaging. A girl at work has buck-teeth which she's quite sensitive about, but I honestly can't remember the last time I even noticed it.

Talk to other people about what they dislike about their appearance. You'll be surprised about how petty most of their worries are. And you're probably being equally nit-picky about your own looks.


Well i don't know, but if a girl would take a shine to me i would be too preoccupied with my anxiety to notice, and i wouldn't have a clue how to ask her out o'r even talk to her.

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txjeepin
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Joined: Feb 28, 2008
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

recluse wrote:
solent wrote:
What do other people think of you and your looks? I'm sure there have been girls who have taken a shine to you, so they must find something attractive to look at.

And, in any case, bear in mind that most people caremore about the person inside than the packaging. A girl at work has buck-teeth which she's quite sensitive about, but I honestly can't remember the last time I even noticed it.

Talk to other people about what they dislike about their appearance. You'll be surprised about how petty most of their worries are. And you're probably being equally nit-picky about your own looks.


Well i don't know, but if a girl would take a shine to me i would be too preoccupied with my anxiety to notice, and i wouldn't have a clue how to ask her out o'r even talk to her.


im in the same boat bro. im 19 and never been in a relationship. i get depressed when i finally get to hang out with a girl the whole time i am thinking about how stupid i am or how i am so dry and have nothing interesting to say. then i usually avoid them because it is just easier to be depressed and avoid things.

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recluse
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 1017
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

txjeepin wrote:
recluse wrote:
solent wrote:
What do other people think of you and your looks? I'm sure there have been girls who have taken a shine to you, so they must find something attractive to look at.

And, in any case, bear in mind that most people caremore about the person inside than the packaging. A girl at work has buck-teeth which she's quite sensitive about, but I honestly can't remember the last time I even noticed it.

Talk to other people about what they dislike about their appearance. You'll be surprised about how petty most of their worries are. And you're probably being equally nit-picky about your own looks.


Well i don't know, but if a girl would take a shine to me i would be too preoccupied with my anxiety to notice, and i wouldn't have a clue how to ask her out o'r even talk to her.


im in the same boat bro. im 19 and never been in a relationship. i get depressed when i finally get to hang out with a girl the whole time i am thinking about how stupid i am or how i am so dry and have nothing interesting to say. then i usually avoid them because it is just easier to be depressed and avoid things.


You've just described me to a t. I am avoidant because it's so much better than dealing with stuff.

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persian
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Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 28

PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am ugly. Outside and inside. Especially on the outside. Rolling Eyes

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Argamemnon
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Joined: Jan 15, 2008
Posts: 365

PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

persian wrote:
I am ugly. Outside and inside. Especially on the outside. Rolling Eyes

Let's suppose you're "ugly" on the outside (although I'm sure you're exaggerating), why do you say you're ugly on the inside as well. You come across as a friendly person to me.

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SocialRetahd
Expert User
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Joined: Dec 02, 2006
Posts: 762

PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Argamemnon wrote:
persian wrote:
I am ugly. Outside and inside. Especially on the outside. Rolling Eyes

Let's suppose you're "ugly" on the outside (although I'm sure you're exaggerating), why do you say you're ugly on the inside as well. You come across as a friendly person to me.


I think he means boring.

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theman
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Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 54

PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You ARE ugly.

I don't mean physically, but mentally.

Unlike men, who gauge a woman's attractiveness based upon cultural standards and some very basic dimensions of her body, women base most of their opinion of your attractiveness upon your own opinion of yourself, how you treat yourself, and how well you present yourself. Women's opinions of MEN are based almost entirely upon qualities which reveal a man's 'self-image' and 'confidence.' Your physical form is actually of little interest to most women.

Men look at the surface FIRST and work their way down. Women judge you by your core first and work their way out.

Funny, but true.

SO, when you say all those awful things about yourself, and believe them, and carry yourself in such a way as to exhibit those traits (oh yes, women can tell that you believe those things about yourself)....women WILL think you're UGLY.

So in a strange way, it is a self fulfilling prophecy.

The good news is this: all you have to do to become attractive to women is work on your core, work on your confidence, work on your self-talk and self treatment. For a woman, this is a tougher challenge because guys are so focused on the EXTERIOR, in order to really become more attractive, a woman must change her physical appearance.

So it is harder for a woman to change her attractiveness than for a man.

Here's what I'd suggest: Treat yourself like a very important person. What would you do for the most important person in your life? Take them out for exercise, read the best books, eat healthy food, try exciting things, etc.

I was right there with you for a long time. It sucks, but right now you're absolutely right.

PROVE YOURSELF WRONG. There are plenty of resources out there. If you don't want to use mine, use someone else's, but get this done for yourself. It can be done, and the rewards are HUGE.

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scareddd
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Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:03 pm    Post subject: i feel the same way Reply with quote

whenever i'm around people, i start to think about how i look in their eyes and what they think of me and i just want to escape. i rarely leave my room anymore.

i'm really judgmental about how ppl look and that makes me even more self conscious. i try not to be, but it takes me a while to see ppl pass their appearance.

tbh, your photo doesn't seem ugly to me at all. i wouldn't comment on how you look if i honestly thought you were ugly...i don't think i'm mentally healthy enough to give encouraging words -_-

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SocialRetahd
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Joined: Dec 02, 2006
Posts: 762

PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To be honest, recluse's looks don't hurt or help. Some people here have looks that are below average and are truly at a disadvantage.

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blonderedhead
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Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Posts: 77
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I'm ugly too. Sometimes if I have something to do in the bathroom like brush my hair or brush my teeth I have to turn my back to the mirror or keep the lights off. And I would like to think that I'm not that vain. I dont think it has anything to do with what I look like I just cant stand myself at all as a person sometimes.

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