Model afraid of dealing with people in public

Modelfear

Okay, I know this sounds crazy but I've been trying to figure it out for 15 years. I am a successful model and love to do that. I don't mind at all being seen in print or on film. Sometimes I think maybe i'm hiding behind that persona. Anyway, as soon as I step foot out into a store, restaurant, anywhere outside my apt. I am extremely uneasy. The worst feeling is when I feel people's eyes on me. I actually try to make myself look bad, I wear a hat way down low on my eyes, sometimes wear glasses, anything to hide myself. I wear baggy clothes so that no one can see my figure. Sometimes people recognize me from my work and I will lie and say that I am not me! So if anyone knows what the hell this is, I would love to know. This is a daily problem that has affected my life immensely and I so want to be released from my fear.
Thanks!

Guest · Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2004 5:38 am Post subject: Model

HI Johno here

I am definitely no model, but whenever I am out in public I wear sunglasses and dress not to impress. I hate people looking at me at all. Mostly they probably aren't. But I am just so self- introspective it drives me crazy. Perhaps if I painted myself pink and skipped through a busy shopping centre singing old Mcdonald then eventually I would not care about others staring. I believe that people are generally to consumed in their own lives to even be concerned with others.
Perhaps putting ourselves in situations we hate for long periods of time is the only way to overcome these fears.

Guest · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 11:57 am Post subject:

Hi Johno & Modelfear

I like your response, Johno, I'm ALMOST tempted get some one blast me with a pink paint gun! Smile

I read this post awhile back, but couldn't comment on it, although I wanted to, I felt I needed to give it some more thought. Like many of others that may have read your post Modelfear, I can form some opions about your fear, or have some hunches, but nothing solid.

My strongest hunch is that you are very concerned of the way people perceive you, maybe a fear or fears that some might be envious to the point of being capable of revenge, or others may admire you so much that they would do anything to connect with you. Both instances could be very damaging to you, of course, so you may be hiding who you really are in public to aviod someone possibly hurting you, which in my opinion is highly understandable.

Maybe you would like the films and pictures to be your only carreer and anything outside of those to be your own time or life, so you try to portray yourself as someone totally opposite of the films/pictures because it is the only way you can get people to try to know the real you, and accept you for the person you really are and not the model?

Like I said, these are only hunches, and I think you would proably get to the root of your fear(s) best by discussing them as openly as possible with a recommended professional. They would more than likely be able to get to the exact causes and help you best to overcome them or deal with them better.

I wouldn't put it off, carrying fear around with you is a lot of heavy, useless baggage, and you may not even realize just HOW heavy until it begins to go away and is completely gone. You'll feel SO MUCH better about yourself!

Good luck Model!

Ann Nonomous
(shy poster)

Guest · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2004 12:18 pm Post subject:

It's me, Ann again.....
I back with one of my many "after thoughts"....

I just wanted suggest to you, and maybe some others as well, not to just consider the "useless baggage" as words, but in the real concept.

Imagine carrying a suitcase full of useless, unhealthy (putting strain on you, etc.) bricks everywhere you go! Not because you need them, but for some reason you can't fathom, you carry them "just in case".... then imagine being able to put the silly notion behind you-- and what a relief it would be to completely dispose of the suitcase!

One of the biggest reasons I dislike the winter is needing to wear extra clothig to keep warm, it makes me feel confined, entrapped, and when I can finally go places with out extra, sometimes constricting clothing, it's such a wonderful feeling of "freedom". Very Happy

Orlando · Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 5:43 am Post subject:

Hi, Modelfear, Johno, and Ann.

Modelfear, I just wanted to tell you that I read somewhere that Kim Bassigner (actress from Batman and Hollywood Confidencial) also has social phobia.....So you're definately not alone.

I'm sorry that you got stalked. That's frightening. Did you get a restraining order? Were you shy before the incident with the stalker? Being stalked might freak-out any sensible person. Currently, you may feel uncomfortable around people because this person invaded your sense of space and privacy. It is a wierd and frightening situation.

On another thought, I have never been blessed with good looks. I have these teeth which I can only described as "really, really, really jacked up." I remember in grade school and college. I would refrain from smiling or cover up my mouth when I laughed. It was painful because I felt that I could not be accepted because I was not handsome. It is painful to only to expect love/acceptance if I was only attractive. I hated that feeling. I felt hopeless that I could never never never get the love/acceptance that I desired. That was painful. I don't know if this is what you are going through...but I know that is what I went through/still going through.

I have found this website to be an amazing resource for support, especially to bounce-ideas-off of. I hope you have the same experience.

Hang-in-there!

_________________
-Orl

mtt · Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 11:41 pm Post subject:

I can imagine. I, actually, really love my anonymity. I think that's why I can go to the grocery or Target and feel anxious but get what I need to get done. I live a long drive from my univ. because of the anonymity.
Anyway, I've seen 2 major movie actors and both were in disguise, one had a hat over his eyes, and the other had a dye job and beard, even though these were male comedians + in very quiet places when I saw them. I think the general public stares, like "are you really you?" and the extroverts ask "are you, uh, you?" This would be annoying. "Normal" is ok with us when Tom Cruise is a Scientologist.

Here are two examples of SA in athletes:
Ricky Williams (Q&A)
http://www.paxil.com/sad/sa_ricky_Q1.html
and Bryan Fogarty, (very sad, they mention SA where it says 2001-02 Brantford):
http://espn.go.com/magazine/vol5no20fogarty.html
Both cited employment-related pressure as making their already-shy selves reach low points.

You really seem like an Avoidant Personality (it's never as bad as it sounds). This description is the best I've seen, although everyone has different symptoms:

http://ivy_league0.tripod.com/rhyme_of_the_ancient_wanderer/id45.html