Though it makes you feel horrible when you compare yourself to another... how else will you know how to achieve your goals?
It's not like someone will volunteer and guide you through the progress...
Ghost - you achieve your goals by setting them and going for it. An example would be if you want to have a great love life, you don't set the goal: "I want to be just like my friend xyz and be a real player." Instead, you set the goal "I would enjoy my love life if I went on a date with a new, attractive woman at least once per week."
Make sense? That way you can gauge your progress without comparison. If previously you dated one new woman per 6 months, and suddenly, on your way to your goal, you are getting 2 new dates every 6 mos. you can feel good about that. If you achieve the goal and find it is not enough, you can adjust the goal, and shoot for that. You can do all this without comparing yourself to others. No one else matters in the achievement of your goals. Comparing yourself to others will only insure that you always fail. Its a negative mindset.
Joined: Mar 30, 2008 Posts: 110 Location: New Mexico, USA
Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 8:55 pm Post subject:
Shield,
Don't take this the wrong way, but you sound like a fool. 99% is a morbid and absolute statistic with a very unrealistic approach to the disability. I've had S.A.D for nearly 7 years, and I've made major progress towards living a normal life. I hold a respectable job at a place where being social is required(College Computer Lab), I attend parties on a regular basis, I make friends, I go out to eat, and I've gone days, weeks, even further without having a single panic attack.
Most of what you said is true, but the fact is when you say ''99%'' you demoralize and destroy peoples hope for conquering S.A.D
Though it makes you feel horrible when you compare yourself to another... how else will you know how to achieve your goals?
It's not like someone will volunteer and guide you through the progress...
Ghost - you achieve your goals by setting them and going for it. An example would be if you want to have a great love life, you don't set the goal: "I want to be just like my friend xyz and be a real player." Instead, you set the goal "I would enjoy my love life if I went on a date with a new, attractive woman at least once per week."
Make sense? That way you can gauge your progress without comparison. If previously you dated one new woman per 6 months, and suddenly, on your way to your goal, you are getting 2 new dates every 6 mos. you can feel good about that. If you achieve the goal and find it is not enough, you can adjust the goal, and shoot for that. You can do all this without comparing yourself to others. No one else matters in the achievement of your goals. Comparing yourself to others will only insure that you always fail. Its a negative mindset.
I agree that comparing yourself with another can be a negative mindset... but I think it can also be an enlightening inquisition.
To rule it out completely is like choosing to be ignorant of what your intuition tells you to notice.
Joined: Apr 04, 2008 Posts: 31 Location: Australia
Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:23 am Post subject:
Anxiety disorders are due to a biological dysfunction in the brain. They are not shyness. So, yeah, CBT can go a long way to helping you deal with SA, but I think meds play a big role in addressing the biological aspect. And for those that will say there isn't a biological part, why do think some SSRI's and benzo's work so well in dealing with anxiety and phobias? I have tried CBT and positive thinking for years, and exposure, but I'm still very anxious even though it's alot better than before. So now I'm on meds and will continue with CBT.
Don't know about the '99% will never get over it' statistic. But the DSM-4 says this about Social Phobia (aka Social Anxiety Disorder): ' The course of Social Phobia is often continuous. Duration is frequently lifelong, although the disorder may attenuate in severity or remit during adulthood' (page 453, DSM-4-TR).
CBT is not at all flawed there are numerous studies to support its effectiveness. It is also a proven psychological FACT that any fear which is not biologically programmed such as fear of heights can be totally overcome by continuous exposure to it.
Quote:
the fact is when you say ''99%'' you demoralize and destroy peoples hope for conquering S.A.D
I don't think this is demoralising but what it does point out is that you have to go beyond what most people are capable of if you want to overcome it. Anyone can get over this with enough work. ANYONE. It is illogical to think otherwise.
CBT is a simple, practical common sense approach to overcoming anxiety, obsessions and so on.
It may not work for some people but it works for many. This proves CBT itself does nothing from it's own side, the real power of any healing comes from within a person.
Any method for overcoming anxiety or anything else must be tested by oneself because everyone is different and unique. This is why the wish to overcome, the wish to be from what i call 'SA LIFE' is so important. A life controlled by anxiety is not real life. This life is dysfunctional. This is why this wish must be strong else a person will not really test and see for themself. They will remain in a subtle depressive state with SA being dominant.
When a person really wants to test these methods, they will test them fully and find things that work for them. They will realise from within what helps.
This isn't to say people have not been testing methods to get better, maybe that person has not found the right therapy yet which helps. The point is that all therapies work depending on the person but we have to be committed to being free of SA life.
James
_________________ The greatest anxiety scientists make the swiftest progress! You are part of a global experiment.....
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