Joined: Aug 09, 2007 Posts: 33 Location: Melbourne
Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:56 pm Post subject:
I turn my back to the mirror when I get out of the shower, because I know if I look I will pick everything out that's horrible about my naked body and then feel like shit for hours after, so it's easier not to look!
I don't think I am an ugly person in the face or mentally, even though I have been there and go through phases of where I think I am completely repulsive. I can be completely ready to go out for the day and then take one final look in the mirror and, blah, I sometimes will stay home.
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 570 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:29 pm Post subject:
Well, maybe I can't change your way of thinking, Recluse, but I've seen a few photos of you on this site, and you are certainly not ugly by any stretch!
People can be so mean without realising it even sometimes, either that or they just don't care...you just have to accept that not everybody will like the way you look, but so what?
That stupid girl who told you to put your glasses back on sounds so shallow and petty that she isn't a person worth impressing anyway, so who gives a monkeys what people like her think!?
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
I used to feel that way, ugly, repulsive, fisical, emotionaly, a crapy personality, until i realise APD was making me look at a mask it wasnt real, at list know i dont feel i am repulsive, because i am not, or ugly. I am not a top model, but i cant realy honestly say i am ugly.
I think the levels of avoidance are lowering, I am also starting to see some things whith diferent eyes, and that as helped me a lot, maybe you can start to see yourself whithout the mask.
Joined: Mar 21, 2008 Posts: 25 Location: Near Bedford
Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:13 am Post subject:
Ok, enough people have said it now Recluse. So you have to start believing it. You're not ugly. And I don't think everyone is just being kind or sympathetic. Sure, many people here are quite sensitive themselves so wouldn't say if they did think you were ugly. But what would happen then is that they would just keep quiet and you wouldn't have had any replies!
An ugly person is someone that you notice when you walk past them on the street and you think uuuuuggghh. There is a VERY small percentage of people who would make you look twice for being so ugly, just as there are VERY few people that would make you look twice for being so attractive. Most people are somewhere in the middle. So am I and probably so are you.
But you only have to think for a few minutes and you will think of ugly successful people. They are not deluded about their looks. They just don't get confidence from their looks.
Consider this. If you come around to realising you're not ugly then you won't worry about replulsing people so much right. And, if you're not real good looking either then you won't rely on or obsess about your looks, or be in danger of spending an hour in the mornings perfecting some metro-image, developing a paper thin hollywood type ego, just so that you can feed off people's shallow compliments. You are more likely to be a down to earth, genuine, selfless and ultimately interesting person if you don't have to think about it much either way. Without these kind of introspective thoughts we can concentrate more on what is around us.
And to add to what 'theman' said, I think most women are attracted to guys who can think outside of themselves either to flatter her or to talk about something else. But it's hard to have much more to talk about if we spend so much time worrying about ourselves and that includes how we look.
Go on the postpics threads and you'll see people who are very attractive but they just pick up on the one or two features that are less than perfect and worry about that. The only thing you need, to be capable of this kind of obsession, is to be human. Because every human falls short of perfection. So if you fall somewhere in the middle, you should look upon it as a blessing! You won't be singled out either way so there is nothing to distract you from developing some REAL confidence.
And about that girl who offended you. I guarantee you she would not have said that if you had a girlfriend at the time or if she saw you as generally confident. People are fickle like that. A girl once laughed in my face and said to me that I had a 'nose like a pig'. Two weeks later when I had a girlfiriend and some new found confidence, she said I was 'quite a catch'. So it just goes to show how insincere she was on both occasions.
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1135 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject:
coriander1992 wrote:
Well, maybe I can't change your way of thinking, Recluse, but I've seen a few photos of you on this site, and you are certainly not ugly by any stretch!
People can be so mean without realising it even sometimes, either that or they just don't care...you just have to accept that not everybody will like the way you look, but so what?
That stupid girl who told you to put your glasses back on sounds so shallow and petty that she isn't a person worth impressing anyway, so who gives a monkeys what people like her think!?
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1135 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject:
Chiaroscuro wrote:
Ok, enough people have said it now Recluse. So you have to start believing it. You're not ugly. And I don't think everyone is just being kind or sympathetic. Sure, many people here are quite sensitive themselves so wouldn't say if they did think you were ugly. But what would happen then is that they would just keep quiet and you wouldn't have had any replies!
An ugly person is someone that you notice when you walk past them on the street and you think uuuuuggghh. There is a VERY small percentage of people who would make you look twice for being so ugly, just as there are VERY few people that would make you look twice for being so attractive. Most people are somewhere in the middle. So am I and probably so are you.
But you only have to think for a few minutes and you will think of ugly successful people. They are not deluded about their looks. They just don't get confidence from their looks.
Consider this. If you come around to realising you're not ugly then you won't worry about replulsing people so much right. And, if you're not real good looking either then you won't rely on or obsess about your looks, or be in danger of spending an hour in the mornings perfecting some metro-image, developing a paper thin hollywood type ego, just so that you can feed off people's shallow compliments. You are more likely to be a down to earth, genuine, selfless and ultimately interesting person if you don't have to think about it much either way. Without these kind of introspective thoughts we can concentrate more on what is around us.
And to add to what 'theman' said, I think most women are attracted to guys who can think outside of themselves either to flatter her or to talk about something else. But it's hard to have much more to talk about if we spend so much time worrying about ourselves and that includes how we look.
Go on the postpics threads and you'll see people who are very attractive but they just pick up on the one or two features that are less than perfect and worry about that. The only thing you need, to be capable of this kind of obsession, is to be human. Because every human falls short of perfection. So if you fall somewhere in the middle, you should look upon it as a blessing! You won't be singled out either way so there is nothing to distract you from developing some REAL confidence.
And about that girl who offended you. I guarantee you she would not have said that if you had a girlfriend at the time or if she saw you as generally confident. People are fickle like that. A girl once laughed in my face and said to me that I had a 'nose like a pig'. Two weeks later when I had a girlfiriend and some new found confidence, she said I was 'quite a catch'. So it just goes to show how insincere she was on both occasions.
Thanks. I guess that when i am down in the dumps my view of myself becomes distorted, even my personality feels ugly when i am depressed and not just my looks. I guess there is a link to when i suffered from anorexia when i was in school, the same distorted image of my myself.
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