I am intimidated by PARTY/CLUBBER PEOPLE!!

IcarusUnderWater · Advanced User Joined: Dec 24, 2007 Posts: 303

The type of people i am talking about are those that just have fun. They don't care what other people think... they just learn from their experiences... where as I was trained to learn from authority and rules... which completely ruined my teen years. I never just went with the flow... i was always up tight and followed the rules which i regret big time. Evil or Very Mad

I always find that i am intimidated by these club/ live life to the full types.

They are living life to the max but when i am around them i feel nervous. It feels like they are going to ask me a question and they will realise that i really have no life.

I have no way to understand them because i don't know any of the protocol of socialising and going to clubs/party's. Just basic things like... dancing, ordering drinks would be stressful.... especially because i can't dance and i am extremely self conscious and i don't know that many drinks etc.

These people are all sooooo socially and sexually experienced and i just feel like a total newbie. I am scared to even try and flirt with the girls as well because they are all confident women and i am so inexperienced.

The way i get around it is by convincing myself that they are just immature etc but i know deep down that i am just in denial.

I need and WANT to get a life! Cool

I REALLY want to go to parties/clubs etc but i don't know how to start.... I have no friends and it would be weird to go alone wouldn't it?

My brother offers to go with me but he is really cool and i don't want to make him look like a geek. I panic when he starts chatting up girls when im around and i find a way to get away from the situation. Rolling Eyes

I have no idea how to make conversation.

Thoughts, comments and suggestions please!!

PhantomPod · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:06 am Post subject:

Well, I'll just tell you that you are most definitely not in that boat alone. I'd say there's many people out there in the same boat who have the same problems.

I feel like i have that problem. The whole "I need and WANT to get a life!" idea. I don't quite know how to go about getting one either though.

Seeing as your brother offered to go to parties with you, I really would take him up on it and ask him for some tips on how to act and all that. My brother is really cool and popular too. He's never actually offered for me to go to a party with him or anything, but I suppose if I asked him he would give me some pointers.

dottie · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:21 am Post subject:

these are probably the type of people who make me feel most uncomfortable. it's like i am just not relaxed, talkative, calm & cool enough and they can't understand *why* not.

_________________
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieive greatly." -Robert F. Kennedy

PhantomPod · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:26 am Post subject:

Oh yeah, and have you ever tried just having a drink to settle yourself down some? I mean, you don't have to become a complete alcoholic in order to fit in and get totally shitfaced, but the few times I have actually gone to a club or a party, I have found that having a drink helps me feel more relaxed and less uptight and busy worrying about the right things to say or do.

livingnsilence · Newbie User Joined: Feb 01, 2008 Posts: 84

I actually like these kind of people, they're better at finding fun in the most boring places and are good at keeping away awkward silences. Unfortunately these type of people don't usually like me though b/c I'm boring. I become one of these type of people when I drink the right amount though (not too little but not too much which is hard for me to pull off b/c I normally go overboard or I don't drink enough to feel a thing).

TAMPA-BAY · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:33 am Post subject: 2nd that

I too am a bit uncomfortable being around those types that like to live life in the fast lane.

My brothers frequents clubs and bars all the time because he is in a reggae band. I use to give in an let him drag me along in the past but the dam lectures just turned me off.

I wanted to learn but if the person I am with is not willing to slow down or is not very understanding it just makes things worst because then It makes me feel like I can not do anything.

I remember the car ride to and from the clubs consisted of him talking down to me about every little flaw. At least if the roles were reverse I would tell the person they did a great job just by showing up.

blonderedhead · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:54 am Post subject:

I do get slightly intimidated by really extroverted people as well, but, ok this is kind of going off topic a bit but I've always wondered this. Why is it that its always shy introverted people who feel they're missing out? Like icarus I was just reading what you said about dreams...

"I totally agree with what your saying. The infinity of the universe is what i appreciate the most. You can't put that feeling in to words when you just look up at the stars. it's just... immense".

Thats deep man. And I hate making generalizations but I've very seldom met an outgoing person say things like that. I mean theres a beauty in their simple carefree ways of life. But doesnt anyone think that theres some sort of intense and complex beauty in the way we are?

Sorry if this is a stupid question i'd just really like to know why shy, introvert automatically = boring, loser, needs a life, instead of vast, mindful, soulful any ideas?

TAMPA-BAY · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:04 am Post subject: grass is greener

Intresting question Bonderedhead. The only thing i cold think of is that its one of those situation where the grass is greener on the other side.

I have been told by the outgoing types many time almost daily that they wish they could trade places with me because my life is so simply.

They realy think it was all intentionaly planed this way. It seems they dont know we are not living this life style by choice.

lucifersam · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:53 am Post subject:

Cynic · Newbie User Joined: Mar 23, 2008 Posts: 39