Anyone else develop the disorder after moving countries?

girlonthetram · Newbie User Joined: Mar 30, 2008 Posts: 1

(Sorry this is so long, I haven't told anyone my story before and I really just had to get it all out)

Right after a turned 14, I moved from Alameda (near San Francisco) in the States to Geelong in Australia. Two very different places if you didn't already know. Confused

I know I'm just generalizing, but for the most part people in the San Francisco bay area are very tolerant, friendly, and open minded, hence the reason so many different cultures, subcultures, ethnicities, and sexualities can find acceptance there.

Geelong, well.. it's just not the same. I really feel I just don't mix well with most of the people here. There's something for everyone in San Francisco. In Geelong you have to be a certain way or you won't fit in at all.

I took pride in being eccentric and I was stubborn when I first arrived. I refused to change my ways and I hated everyone I met, so I became isolated, then depressed. I came out of depression but I developed social anxiety disorder almost immediately after. I shouldn't really blame the city of Geelong. It's my own inability to adjust to change that's really the cause of all this. Sad

Another reason I hated it here so much when I first arrived: I was a public school kid who started going to a private Christian school. Bad idea! I remember how in San Francisco there'd occasionally be a homophobe, here and there, but they were a minority and people would often argue with them. At Christian College (the school I went to in Geelong) I remember sitting there in shock as EVERYONE in the group around me agreed that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. Only one girl agreed they should be allowed, but when I asked her if they should be allowed to adopt she said no because 'the poor kid would be miserable'...... Shocked

We came to blows again when I tried to throw a Halloween party, since I missed my favorite holiday already. Half of them didn't turn up because they'd already decided I was a 'freak'. The other half refused because they thought it was satanic! Evil or Very Mad

In the end only about four people actually came.

On top of all this, we literally had nothing to talk about. We just didn't have anything in common. I became argumentative and just basically an annoyance to them, so they ignored me and I drifted to another group.

I used to hang out with my friends everyday in SF, we'd always do something. To go from that to sitting at home every night was hard. The move was hard on my dad too. He fell in to depression. All he did was sleep but he got over it.

I did too, sort of. I moved schools THANK GOD. Started going to a nice public school, non-religious. It's step up. The people here are less shallow and bitchy and I've made friends, but that couldn't stop me from developing social anxiety disorder. The damage had already been done I suppose, and it's getting worse. It's so bad I can't even talk to my friends in America on the phone anymore. That hurts the most, not being able to talk to the people I've known almost all my life.

I'm almost 18 now and I've finally decided to seek help. I'm seeing a psychologist for the first time in about a week. I really hope I can cure myself of this before I move back to the States. Is one year enough time??

sabbath92002 · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:32 pm Post subject:

Hi girlonthetram, welcome to SPW!

When I was 12, I moved from Chicago to Miami, same country, different worlds. I was in culture shock when I got here. I was able to make some friends here but most have since moved. I think I've had Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) all my life, even before the move I was a loner.

As far as curing your SAD, I don't know if that is possible. The only thing that has helped me with mine is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

www.actmindfully.com.au

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polljk · Newbie User Joined: Apr 06, 2008 Posts: 13

i hear your pain..
i've posted my own recap story in introductions..

i think it was a ptsd reaction from my parents diverce that broke me.
then the other kids noticed i was broken and did the usual "only the strong survive" thing. nice and bullied from that so more ptsd most likely, then with a move to a new school i began censoring myself and holding things inside for fear of the same treatment. generated a nice anxiety disorder with avoidance disorder as a coping mechanism.
(when the possibility of a panic attack situation looms i lie and manipulate to get out of it)
i'm not afraid to be completely honest, so i have panic attacks with a side of an irrational fear of wetting myself in public (thank you bedwetting)

started a nice cannabis habit a few years ago.. what do you know, i can feel happiness after all Very Happy

so here i am.. no hope of a job.. no friends without great distress and no hope of going anywhere crowded. while every fucker around me tells me im being stupid, careless, childish, lazy pushing me deeper into the dirt and then theres the pressuare of trying to improve in the face of insane odds.

i say no more.. this is the hand i was dealt.. i'm not going to put myself through anymore to be like other people so i can feel worthy for 5 minutes..
i recomend you do the same.. or become lost in the "professional" mental health system.

my plan is get checked out by a doc.. go on disability payments and spend a little time not worrying about my future and see if i feel better.
if i do, i may venture outside, if not, i'm happy being alone with my wife forever and ever.

i'm sorry i'm being self important.. but its either because i opend the flood gate or it's another one to throw on the pile..

SilentStranger · Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:56 pm Post subject:

I suppose I could say yes to the orginal question. I mean I have always been ultra shy and dreaded school etc when I was small. But moving countries definitely had a part in me developing SP.

Like you I moved to Australia in my early teens. I won't go into exact details where I am originally from, but I would say difference in cultures was massive. It sure was a culture shock. Atleast in your case language wouldn't have been a problem, but I had to deal with speaking a new language and to make matters worse people would make fun of my accent and my culture. There were no expats from the old country in my school.. needless to say I didn't have many friends, and even then I didn't hang out with them after school. So I can definitely understand your situation.

As for a Christian school I attended, well that place was quite homophobic too. I mean most of the time it didn't bother me and (for the most part) people didn't decide I was gay just because I didn't have a girlfriend. As for people not being open to other cultures and views of alternative lifestyles, I can imagine a country town can being worse. To an extent I get that in the town I live now.

By looking at your nick, I assume you are in Melbourne now. How do you find Melbourne? More cosmopolitan and open to alternative cultures/lifestyles?

As for 1 year being good enough, I don't know. It probably depends on the person. In your case, you seemed to have lead quite a social life when you were in Cali. So I think changing might not be as difficult as people who have been shy or SP their entire life. Thats my view only, others might disagree.

-SS

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