Do you ever avoid men or women you like?

roadkilldeadahead · Newbie User Joined: Dec 07, 2007 Posts: 22

I dont have any prospects right now in the dating area but have come across with a guy like that and let me tell you... It was totally annoying, it took him 4 hrs to make the first move. I wasn't goin to....i'm a lady! word to the wise.... If you like someone and your above the age of lets say 19, then go for it. After the teen years you will regret things more easily than you would when it didnt matter. You are seriously trying to find a mate after 19. And to the guys that have this problem... Don't be so shy, us women crave male attention...as long as you have had success in the past and know what your doing then you have nothing to worry about. OK????? Good luck

TAMPA-BAY · Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:53 pm Post subject:

I ve alwayse had this problem during my younger years but at the time I had never heard about anxiety. I think some of us should stop being so hard on our selves because we did the best we could in the past with the tools that we had.

Now that I know about anxiety I ve been montering my thinking and slowly have been improving my behavior by at least saying hi or chatting shortly with people from my past even tho things have changed such as them being maried. I have found that chatting with people from my past that I had crushes on even tho they are not in relationships helps me by showing me the mountain I created in my mind was not so tall. (odd methapor i know)

I know I am straying form the topic but I just wanted to pointed out that if we just tried to do with out fixing what goes on in our head we ll be right back to where we started.

splorff · Newbie User Joined: Dec 20, 2007 Posts: 3

Yes I behave like this too sometimes.

Whether I avoid them or try to socialise really just depends on how I feel at that moment. If I'm anxious and tense, I'll avoid, as its almost a certainty, that they will notice and be put off me.

If I'm feeling relaxed and OK, I'll socialise.

If they see me first though, I'm stuck with trying to make the best of the encounter, as I wont just walk away having established eye contact, though I really might like too.

I dont know if I have AVP, but I'm beggining to suspect it. I'm 52. I've never been married, and I've never even lived with anyone.

There have been times in my life when women have signalled their interest in me, but if I'm not in a relaxed mood, things will go wrong. And women seldom remain interested in a guy who is anxious/unsure of himself etc.

Jonesey · Newbie User Joined: Mar 23, 2008 Posts: 6 Location: NC

I identify exactly with what you guys are talking about. Through random circumstances, I ended up hanging out with this girl that I thought was pretty cool, but now, every time I see her out in public, I just pretend I didn't see her and keep walking. It's ridiculous because she was the one who asked me if I wanted to come over to her place and watch a movie when we hung out, but now, for some reason, I feel like she would rather have nothing to do with me.

bella1968 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 07, 2007 Posts: 18

No redneck...i am still at it, its improving though. I am being more assertive on a daily basis and he is seeming more comfortable now and he will initate a hello or good morning everyday...still walks by me alot too.

Continue to wish me luck - prayers help too!

Thanks Smile

stellar · Newbie User Joined: Apr 09, 2008 Posts: 7

I avoid them as much as i can. Its not tht i mean too but i just tend 2 coz i have this fear. Iv even thought ov getting rid of my cell phone becasue of the guilt i have with not txtn someone bk if i dont wnt to go somewher or do somethin.

sketchy24 · Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:10 pm Post subject:

I have this problem with both guys and girls. Generally anyone who is good looking with personalities I like or wish I had. So I don't really have to be attracted to them sexually. At work its mostly all guys (like 5 women all waay older) and there are two who I feel very anxious around. I'm not gay or anything... they just have a personality, body language and looks I wish I had and not having any friends, I wouldn't mind friends like them. Any attractive girl will make me nervous even if their personality sucks. For some reason I feel the real attractive ones are judging me more than normal and I really have a hard time being around them at all unless they have a very outgoing and friendly personality. Even then I tend to feel like the biggest moron a live cause I'll usually say something really stupid trying not to look like a total loser.

peater · Newbie User Joined: Apr 09, 2008 Posts: 7

wow..i didn`t know i suffered from this...there was a reallllly beautiful girl in my school that i really liked but everytime she tried to talk to me i got nervous and tried to make a good impression. in the end i always ended up making a bad impression and making her feel that i don`t like her/think of her as important.
result: she doesn`t talk to me anymore

jamez · Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:16 pm Post subject:

Nope I like to get close to them as possible, tactfully though.

SleepingBeauty · Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject:

I avoid them all the time! Cause im too nervous. But im also kinda afraid to be in a relationship, cause I think it will change me.

So im willing to wait for the right person.... hopefully it doesnt take abother 20 years, lol
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