Do you believe your parents helped develop social anxiety?

Tinuviel · Newbie User Joined: Apr 06, 2008 Posts: 7

Yeah, they did have something to do with it. When I was a kid, everytime I was loud or babbling about something, they were like "shhhh, keep it down". And they divorced when I was 10. Aaaand of course I wasn't allowed talking to strangers. But I'm not blaming them.

_________________
Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to
(The Smiths-Ask)

slimjim119 · Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:40 am Post subject:

My parents had nothing to do with me having social phobia. I don't even know why I have it. I was just born with it. I come from a good family and never had any problems in school. I got along with everybody. I was always shy and quieter than most people and it developed into social phobia.

blonderedhead · Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:24 am Post subject:

HELL YES! I mean part of it is my own doing but they definitely had a strong influence on my anxiety. Almost everyone in my family has a heap of their own dysfunctions and I just don't think it was a great enviornment to be raised in. I mean I believe they are good people at heart they just have major problems. Miss Amy your story is heartbreaking. I want to HUG you too! You are so brave! I grew up half in an abusive household and the other half in a negligent household. I was once attacked by a close friend of the family and once my family found out, it wasn't that big of a deal to them. That was pretty much when my anxiety took a nose dive. But I'll heal someday and I'll be a better person because of it. HELL YEAH I WILL! LOL

_________________
"But she's not afraid to die, the people all call her Alaska
Between worlds so the people ask her 'cause it's all in her mind"

Dave_McFadden · Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 3:35 am Post subject:

Yeah, they definitely helped. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and I figured out pretty quickly that I couldn't stand up to life's challenges. Try getting two 6-year old parents and two 8-year old grandparents to agree on anything. It became our (I have a younger sister and brother) responsibility to reconcile their schedules if we needed a ride somewhere.
Throw in a second marriage for Dad and you've got another adult who doesn't know how to handle this situation. This was the 80's when divorce was the "in thing" but the family situations it created were relatively unexplored. So none of the adults have any idea how to handle the whole thing, but the kids are expected to come up with the answers. And if we don't get it right, we're rotten and spoiled because we can't figure out how to please 5 adults who refuse to agree on anything except the fact that they refuse to agree on anything.

So, after that kind of family experience growing up, who needs people? I have social something but don't know exactly where it falls between anxiety and phobia. But it doesn't matter anyway because I don't want to have relationships with people anyway. Sometimes I think I do but then I come back to my senses. Maybe a lot of people from divorced families have this experience. I know a lot of people have had it worse, and if they've figured out how to have good relationships with people, good for them.

Cool_Un_Cool · Newbie User Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 97

My mom was the exact same way, I never went anywhere, I'll be honest I think it stunted me socially. Although, it might have been a good thing, because I would have probably humiliated myself anyway.

summer · Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:52 am Post subject:

No, I have always been shy and quiet and scared of everything i beleive i was born this way. my parents tried hard and did everything they could to encourage me do social activities while i was growing up. I was aloud out to play and over to friends houses and had a perfectly decent, happy, settled, upbringing.

Lea · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 08, 2008 Posts: 122

I think I have it partly inborn, but still it could have been reversed if my parents were warm and supportive, not the exact opposite.
My cousin from father´s side used to be extremely shy, and look what´s become of him with time. He is a confident young man, both with his sister are doing university. Have partners. Their family is very warm and happy, parents professionals and the children have all luxury they can wish for.
I always used to think it is all my fault that I am like this, but now I see that I am very much a product of my environment.

toothpastekisses · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject:

My parents are sooo overprotective, well my mum is. I'm not even allowed to go to the corner shop without her permission. I wasn't exactly spoilt or anything, just not allowed to explore life to the extent others could. She still mollycoddles me and I hate it. I'm 18 today and it's like I'm still a child.

princess_haru · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 8:19 pm Post subject:

that1guy · Newbie User Joined: May 06, 2008 Posts: 61

yeah my parents are definetely the catalysts of my SAD but in a different way. They let me go anywhere but they are constantly putting my down because of my grades and past bad decisions. They make me worry all the time because I never know how they are going to react when they see me at home. Plus, when I have recently done something positive, they are like "who cares, big deal", but when I do something that is bad, they are constantly on my ass about it. They yell at me and then punish for something that isnt even that bad. It's like I dont receive fair judgements. They love to jump on ass about the small, bad things.
This causes me to be in a bad mood constantly and makes me not want to talk to anybody.