newcomer

greenman · Newbie User Joined: Apr 16, 2008 Posts: 2

Hello

I'm not sure if this the correct forum , so many to choose from .

Been reading other people's posts and I guess it helps to get it down in writing, even though it is an anonamous account of ones life , it is still a good feeling just putting things in to words .

I'm 52 and I live with my elderly mother . Things went astray at 15 when I left school, I suffered panic attacks in the classroom , this had not happened before, but I feel it was the result of a long anxiety thing about school . I went to a highly strict Catholic school run by nuns , females became strong figures of authority in my life . By the time I was 12 , I was a nervous wreck , the nuns were illogical , tyrannical, and above all else cynical , it was their cynicism I hated the most .

I became a hermit from 15 to 17 , scared of leaving the house . My family didn't understand my behaviour at all, I was ostrasiced , my brother would not speak to me , he worked and I was a no hoper in his eyes because I didn't have a job . My mother pressured me to go on the dole at 16 ....

During the Whitlam 'free tertiary education for all' time, I managed to leave home with a friend at age 18 , we got into a course in Hobart .. I could barely speak to people , I used to wait until the caferteria was empty , around 4 pm, before I could buy something to eat . I lived on chips and bottles of milk . I lasted a few months before fleeing back home to Melbourne . My friend was no help, he had no idea of my situation, he was very outgoing and confident , and highly intelligent , I was the opposite.

I've never had a girlfriend , my neurotic mother and other factors stuffed my head up, I used to mumble at girls in a incoherant speech . I had the personality of a stone statue when it came to girls .My brother never had any girlfriends either .. it was a big no no in our house . When around girls , I would actually shake with fear , physically tremble .

Oh well, thats my story . thanks for reading

SilentStranger · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 2:59 pm Post subject:

Hi Greenman,

Welcome to the group! I too am from Oz, there are quite a few here. I have been ultra shy all my life, but like you its around 15-17 that things started to get worse.

You know what, I too started posting entries in this forum and another that I used to frequent, partly to just write down things, you know almost like a diary, so I can come back in few months or years and see how things have change.

I hope you find this forum helpful and if you are upto it you can also try the Chat link on this site.

-SS

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